Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

16 month old assaulted should i have expected more support from the police?

190 replies

Absc · 10/11/2024 00:56

Feeling shaken up tonight a drunk person hit me, pushed my 3 year old over and my 16 month old who was in his pram she pushed the pram over i couldn't do anything to stop it happening. He did hit his head on the floor.

We have spent four hours at hospital who have said they don't think he has any significant head injuries. He has pre existing conditions that mean any head injuries have to be seen in a&e as he has false signs already for a bleed in brain etc so signs to look for concern are already there on him. At five months old he had an emergency mri with drs thinking he had a bleed on the brain.

This was at a family event. The attack was by a completely unknown person who doesn't live in the village. It took the police 33 minutes to attend. The dispatcher said they were coming from the local station 4 minutes away. By this point the woman had now disappeared. She had made further threats of harm - she had told people apparently we were pushing in and that's why she turned around and hit me then went for my children. We were in fact trying to find my son's friend who had walked off and with 400 people there it was difficult to see. The organisers were in the main area where we were heading to ask for assistance.

I don't know if i'm in the wrong but i feel very let down by the police not attending until too late, they said that they would have no chance of trying to find the person now and would only look if someone had significant injury. To me this is clearly a very volatile person and this happened to us they could well do this again. They said they would call in a few days time to check the child has no further injuries. My other child was literally telling the police that he had been pushed over by a lady and that she had chucked a drink at him. Police response we don't need or want to speak to the child.

Or is this now what society has turned into and is it normal to go to family events and have aggressive people / drunk people at 6pm in the evening.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
RedHelenB · 30/11/2024 19:44

Absc · 30/11/2024 17:16

Just to say the police have now done a public appeal via crime watch to try and find the woman. Also council are investigating the licences as it was only given licence for small village event for the local families.

Hope she's found OP.

Absc · 30/11/2024 17:16

Just to say the police have now done a public appeal via crime watch to try and find the woman. Also council are investigating the licences as it was only given licence for small village event for the local families.

OP posts:
LemonPeonies · 12/11/2024 11:29

Absc · 10/11/2024 03:12

My focus was on taking my children to safety and making sure they were ok as they were very distressed and i was in shock. A man did get hold of the woman to stop her but he was with her.

I would never let my children see violence or see me ever harm anyone and i also would never in retrospect risk losing my professional registration or not be able to work to provide for my children.

I don't know how people reacted after as i had literally gone into a private area that no one could get into without permission to enable me to check my children were ok and comfort them.

I agree with this and everyone would react differently I'm sure. Luckily I've been trained in safe restraint in my job so could handle it in a non violent way and restraint her til the police came but understand you just wanted to keep your children safe at the time. She sounds unhinged.

CaptainMyCaptain · 12/11/2024 11:06

10 or 15 years ago there was an incident in my area. A man was pushing a pushchair and another man, possibly a bit drunk idk, stumbled and nudged the pushchair. The man with the pushchair retaliated as suggested by some posters here and with an 'unlucky' punch killed the other man. He was arrested, charged with manslaughter and went to prison. His wife and children had to flee the area the same day for shame and fear of reprisals. Think on as they say round here.

eastegg · 12/11/2024 10:29

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

If your instincts are to go after the perpetrator and commit a retaliatory offence against them, leaving your tiny children who have just been hit and tipped out of a pram, then your instincts are utterly shit. There would be no way to ‘personally deal with them’ that would be safe for the children.

Hmm1234 · 12/11/2024 07:13

This sounds like something that needs to go in the village Facebook group. See if anyone knows the culprits. Name and Shane

oakleaffy · 11/11/2024 19:43

Reserved101 · 10/11/2024 03:26

Geez, I googled for that and there have been loads of instances of random attacks on babies in Austalia in recent years, and the one who has life changing injuries from having hot coffee poured over him.

So many scumbags around.

My Goodness- What a monster. Seen here:

Still on the run.

oakleaffy · 11/11/2024 19:33

@Landloper This deranged woman who attacks children probably has ''Previous'' history of hurting them- To approach children in public to do this is very concerning.

Hopefully she will be identified.

Landloper · 11/11/2024 19:10

Absc · 10/11/2024 00:56

Feeling shaken up tonight a drunk person hit me, pushed my 3 year old over and my 16 month old who was in his pram she pushed the pram over i couldn't do anything to stop it happening. He did hit his head on the floor.

We have spent four hours at hospital who have said they don't think he has any significant head injuries. He has pre existing conditions that mean any head injuries have to be seen in a&e as he has false signs already for a bleed in brain etc so signs to look for concern are already there on him. At five months old he had an emergency mri with drs thinking he had a bleed on the brain.

This was at a family event. The attack was by a completely unknown person who doesn't live in the village. It took the police 33 minutes to attend. The dispatcher said they were coming from the local station 4 minutes away. By this point the woman had now disappeared. She had made further threats of harm - she had told people apparently we were pushing in and that's why she turned around and hit me then went for my children. We were in fact trying to find my son's friend who had walked off and with 400 people there it was difficult to see. The organisers were in the main area where we were heading to ask for assistance.

I don't know if i'm in the wrong but i feel very let down by the police not attending until too late, they said that they would have no chance of trying to find the person now and would only look if someone had significant injury. To me this is clearly a very volatile person and this happened to us they could well do this again. They said they would call in a few days time to check the child has no further injuries. My other child was literally telling the police that he had been pushed over by a lady and that she had chucked a drink at him. Police response we don't need or want to speak to the child.

Or is this now what society has turned into and is it normal to go to family events and have aggressive people / drunk people at 6pm in the evening.

Sorry to read of your experience. The woman's conduct was totally unacceptable and you are entitled to expect maximum support from the police while they pursue this matter. That an adult thought nothing of attacking a mother in front of her children is bad enough, but then to target the 3 y.o. and 16 month old themeselves is unbelieveable. Clearly the individual constitutes a threat to children in general, and the police need to identify her, apprehend her, charge her.

oakleaffy · 11/11/2024 19:05

@Absc I follow certain Urban exploration people on you tube and what is really noticeable is the amount of old asylums and mental hospitals that there used to be in every part of the UK. -

There is now almost no provision for dangerous and aggressive people , who are free to wander randomly at will, off meds, and hurt children.

I'm sorry this happened.

Once, on a Tube, DS at around 3 yrs old was pushed over on purpose by a deranged man, and everyone was too nervous to intervene.

Adults who target children like this are vile.

ADRV · 11/11/2024 18:46

I would have done the same as Fedupmum - no doubt in my mind.

ADRV · 11/11/2024 18:45

I agree!

ADRV · 11/11/2024 18:45

Can’t even believe what I’ve just read. I’m so sorry this happened to you - seriously, I would have gone absolutely crazy. You need to make a complaint to the police. It’s a very serious matter.

Dibbydoos · 11/11/2024 18:34

Someone knows her, put a post on the local FB group and ask for witnesses.

Good luck. She def is unhinged to attack babies is disgusting.

laraitopbanana · 11/11/2024 18:27

Hi op,

I am so sorry this happened to you and your kid. You must be in chock. I hope you feel a little better over the next days.

Good evening 🌺

Drakhan · 11/11/2024 18:14

Hope you got the police officers name and badge number and make an official complaint.Also, once you get the hospital bill send it to the police to pay as it’s the least they can do for being so lazy.

TruthAndTrust · 11/11/2024 10:17

TruthAndTrust
Op hope you are feeling a bit better.
Not the issue being discussed I'm amazed that the village has a police station especially one manned on Saturday night

It's in the next town but very close and yes it's one of the few still open 7 days a week with officers in. Unlike the city 40 mins away with no station. There's been talk over years of it closing but never has.

So if the police station isn't in your village and has to come from the next town it seems like it was the dispatcher who is at fault for initially telling you the police were coming from the station and they would take 4 minutes. If they were coming from the next town then 30 minutes seems more understandable.

sel2223 · 11/11/2024 08:58

Rosscameasdoody · 11/11/2024 08:09

Nope. Sorry, wasn’t me. If l had access to the Hubble telescope with which to examine some of the ridiculous viewpoints you’ve expressed while trying to derail the OP’s thread with your ‘pack mentality’ shite, l still couldn’t find enough to interest me enough to be bothered to report it. When you read all of your posts together it really isn’t clear why you’re on MN at all, because you clearly don’t agree or align with the fundamental principles on which it’s based.

Edited

Ah good morning to you, you're back 😊

I agree, this has derailed the OP's thread somewhat but only because what started as me making a one sentence comment expressing my own personal thoughts on an open forum quickly disintegrated into multiple attacks about why my personal opinion is wrong, accusations of trolling and how I'm disrespectful and how dare I hold any opinions that differ from the pack, how my viewpoints are 'ridiculous' etc etc. I've had my word twisted, had other words put into my mouth that i haven't even said, been accused of all sorts and had people jump down my throat repeatedly simply for holding a different point of view to their own.

I'm allowed to defend my views which I have done but every time I have, there are a couple of you that can't help repeatedly coming back for more instead of accepting that people can have different views and that's OK, and just agreeing to disagree! I've said over and over again that others might not think the same way I do and that's OK, you should ask yourself why are you so incapable of doing the same? You have dragged this on and on.

It's nothing short of online bullying and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.... and before you come back with counter accusations of me bullying the OP or anyone else I have absolutely not done that at any point. Yes. I have asked questions because I don't just blindly believe everything I read on the Internet, but I've been respectful with it. I don't know the OP, I have no personal vendetta towards anyone, i wasn't there and I have no idea what did or didn't happen.

Nothing i say will make a difference anyway though as your mind is completely closed off to any other view. Please feel free to come back and have the last word now and 'do your worst' because I'm off and unfollowing the thread. I won't read it and I won't reply.

Have a great day 👋

Catsbreakfast · 11/11/2024 08:19

Hufflemuff · 10/11/2024 20:01

Yes exactly that! Some drunken crackhead couldn't be too difficult to hold down surely?

Don’t know, when’s the last time someone’s restrained you?

Catsbreakfast · 11/11/2024 08:18

Gman0206 · 10/11/2024 06:17

I'm sorry buy why didn't you cave that person's head in? You don't wait for the police to come and sort of conflicts. The police in this country are severely understaffed and seriously struggling to recruit, the force is pretty much running on fumes running to and from the same wife beaters and junkies who cause issues all the time. That woman got away with hurting your baby and child, you would have got away with defending them too.

Go write your fan fiction somewhere else 😢

Rosscameasdoody · 11/11/2024 08:09

sel2223 · 10/11/2024 19:46

Ah, so was it you who reported them?

That was actually exactly what I said.....plus a bit about the UK allowing people to be innocent till proven guilty (imagine!) and a couple of mentions of their normally being 3 sides to every story (the horror!)...... no personal attack on anyone, no disrespect to any other posters.... I've never said I don't believe the OP or think she is lying. I've simply said 'I don't know either way'

But it's very clear it only works one way this 'respect for other posters and their points of view"?
Did you respect my point of view? Did you show respect to me as another poster? No, you did not, at all.

Maybe I should start reporting a load of posts too? Except that I wouldn't, ever, because I actually value freedom of speech, healthy discussion and have no problem with people expressing a different view to my own.

The lynch mob wanting to smash the skull of an unknown person who may or may not have done something terrible but who's already been tried and convicted by MN posters...well that's a whole other ballgame isn't it.

Edited

Nope. Sorry, wasn’t me. If l had access to the Hubble telescope with which to examine some of the ridiculous viewpoints you’ve expressed while trying to derail the OP’s thread with your ‘pack mentality’ shite, l still couldn’t find enough to interest me enough to be bothered to report it. When you read all of your posts together it really isn’t clear why you’re on MN at all, because you clearly don’t agree or align with the fundamental principles on which it’s based.

TreeCake · 10/11/2024 21:17

Hufflemuff · 10/11/2024 20:01

Yes exactly that! Some drunken crackhead couldn't be too difficult to hold down surely?

Well next time you’re out with your family and a ‘drunken crackhead’ who has just assaulted 3 people turns up, I hope you don’t mind restraining them for 30 minutes. Can’t be that hard.

Leavesandacorns · 10/11/2024 20:09

FedupMum2024 · 10/11/2024 02:03

If anybody, man or woman, drunk or sober, had deliberately pushed my pram over with my 16 month old baby in it there would have been no need for police attendance,
I would have personally dealt with them myself in the most illegal way possible.
this would have been instinctive I am afraid.
I just cannot believe that you and all the other onlookers allowed this vicious evil animal to just walk away from this.

You would have chosen to escalate violence around your young children rather than check they were ok? If so, that would be incredibly stupid.

OP, I'm sorry for what happened to you and your children, it must have been very frightening. I'd absolutely complain about the response from the police.

funinthesun19 · 10/11/2024 20:02

sel2223 · 10/11/2024 19:57

And that's great that you feel that way.
Enjoy your evening

You too. 👍🏻

funinthesun19 · 10/11/2024 20:02

Absc · 10/11/2024 19:45

Thank you for the people who have been supportive my eldest hasn't mentioned anything when i picked him up after work today.

The organisers of the event and the local council have been emailed by my mum today as there should never have been so many people in a small area that's not meant for this. My village is a mixture of young families and people who have lived there for 40 plus years. I was born in the village and nearly everyone knows everyone houses don't come up for sale often maybe once every 5/6 years. The people who were there were not locals only knew one person who witnessed it and they had four children under 8. It was literally seconds that's how quick it happened. Still to an extent in shock but had to focus on work.

Aw I’m glad your eldest seemed to be distracted away from it and seemed ok. How’s your littlest doing? And how are you?? I hope this all gets resolved and the woman who did this to you all is found. And just for the record OP… I believe you. Xx