to think solo train travel is not a big deal for most adults?

Perhaps she didn’t want to be alone with her own thoughts for 5 hours.

Oh I know. What I'm asking is why are there so many adults in need of professional help to face normal day to day life? And it's not just COVID. This has been on the rise for years. You'd think this might be one area where smartphones help...you can always call, Google, download an app or map, track schedules, check a platform for a quick change but even with that support, the most mundane things seem like impossible challenges. We have to get to the root of this.

You’re just embarrassing yourself now.

So would I and unless I was close to my proposed travelling companion, I would probably come up with a reason why we couldn’t possibly travel together.

I wouldn’t make arrangements to do so then cancel the day before, though.

But nobody on here can have the slightest idea what percentage of people have anxiety about travelling on trains. The most anybody can say is ‘I don’t have anxiety about trains and none of my friends have said they do’.

I have no idea whether 0.0005%, or 95% of people worry about train travel and I can’t see how anyone else can know either, yet many posters are confidently insisting that only a minority have such worries with some going further to say it’s ‘wet’ and other such insults. How can you possibly know?

Also, when you say ‘minority’ - minority of the population? Minority of train users? Minority of people who use trains less than once a week?

I wouldn’t be anxious but I’d be disappointed/let down and be seriously reevaluating my friendship with someone who’d be so flakey and not value spending time with me.

Right, but in this case the OP and friend had deliberately arranged to travel together, which suggests they prefer company?

I agree with this, I travel all over the country on the train and don't give it a second thought but I can see your friends reason for being a bit pissed off. I wouldn't have bought another ticket though

I'd actually prefer to travel alone. I like my own space. I suppose we're all different...

She needs to pull her big girl pants up.

Have you seen the state of nhs mental health services. They can't even help people after suicide attempts do you honestly think their are staff to help with this stuff

It is not a lack of empathy. It is quite possible to empathise with someone yet still recognise that their perspective is a minority one.

The only thing that OP asked was whether anxiety about travelling in trains was something the majority experienced.

I find it weird how many people on this thread find it impossible to accept that someone not reacting exactly like them in any given situation does not make that other person’s reaction wrong (or ‘wet’ or any of the other pejoratives thrown around)

I do all of the above by myself (other than festivals - not my thing at all) but I have no problem understanding that other people don’t do / feel the same.

The total lack of empathy for other people from many posters has truly surprised me.

But a much higher number of people would find a 5 hour journey very boring so can totally identify with OP's friend, even if the exact reason is different.

Because as OP said "We each booked our own tickets, but discussed which trains we’d get." It seems they'd agreed to take the same trains, but then OP changed her mind.

I think you were really quite rude to be honest. Not that you should have thought she wouldn't feel comfortable to do the journey alone, but because a complicated five hour journey which gives you time to catch up with a friend is quite fun and part of the holiday. A complicated five hour journey alone, is boring and a long journey just for a weekend.

If I'd been in the friend's shoes, depending on other factors, having company on the journey could have been a deciding factor on whether I went to the wedding even. Say I wasn't super close to the friend getting married, but was super close to you. Getting a babysitter, or my husband taking time of work, spending the money on the travel, might not be worth it if 5 hours of it would be a boring lonely train ride. 5 hours catching up with a really good friend who I love seeing (you) might make it worthwhile.

The thing is though,you might have never known her to be a nervous traveller but no one stays the same over 25 years.

A sibling of mine has skydived,abseiled,swam with sharks but currently feels so anxious they can't do a food shop alone.So...things change.

Maybe ask if your friends is okay.I'd have felt a tad let down too.

I can assure you that the number is statistically minuscule in terms of the UK population. Mumsnet/online chat forums are a haven/echo chamber for the socially anxious, it is in no way reflective of society.

Yes to all of those.

@another1bitestheduck and don't you think there's something massively concerning about that? What the hell is going on that NT adults can't go to the shops or cinema or drive in large numbers? I am actively trying to expand my teen kids' horizons so they have to things that are a bit nervy at first but are not in themselves inherently dangerous or difficult things. I do appreciate the anxiety is a diagnosed condition but I do wish there was a bit more willingness to address it and not just assume that other people will have to accommodate it. It's not "normal" to be unable to go to the shops and I would be actively pursuing treatment if I was in that position.

Many people never use public transport, indeed some never even walk more than a few yards and travel everywhere by car.

So whilst the OP may have been surprised at her friend, I would not be surprised in general at someone not being comfortable travelling alone on a train (or indeed a plane, bus or coach). There also seems to be something about using public transport that causes people to have specific brain freezes they do not have in other situations. Fear of being on the wrong train (or bus), of missing your stop (on a bus the bell being rung quicker than a starting pistol after it moves from the previous one), and an inability to understand a timetable.

Legacy of Dr Beeching and Ernest Marples in particular.

any actual stats for this other than 'my unevidenced opinion?'

There are a number of people ON THIS THREAD ALONE who have said it would make them very anxious which suggests it's hardly 'infinitesimally tiny'. I know quite a few people who wouldn't be happy doing such a journey.

There are absolutely loads of threads on here where people literally won't go to the shops, cinema, or for food in their own local area on their own, or drive in their own area in the dark, or anywhere they don't know even if 30 minutes away...

more people are anxious than you know, you're being very dismissive to assume just because you don't find something scary nobody does

if you don't believe me the 'suggested threads' option that comes up underneath the last post gives examples of several such threads!

Yes, there was a programme on the BBC a while ago about people with crippling anxiety. One of the people on it was Nadiya Hussein, who revealed that she was too anxious to travel alone by train. They spent a lot of time explaining how someone could be treated so that this anxiety did not restrict their ability to function, and filmed her being coached through a train journey.

No she bought the first ticket because she had an event to go to. How could OP have possibly known that her changing trains would result in the friend buying a new ticket? It is completely unpredictable behaviour.

Yes, but she bought the first ticket having agreed with OP that they'd go together. Really unfair of OP to change afterwards.