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AIBU?

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Boyfriends kink

515 replies

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 22:27

So kind of a rude one, so I won't go into specifics. And he's not my boyfriend, he's an old fling who has been a friend for 15 years, and we were kind of thinking of getting together, but no idea how to word that.

I've always known he had a slightly kinky side, nothing mad just a little bit more adventurous than me. However he has recently revealed a kink/hobby? That i never knew about, he seemed totally ashamed and called himself a loser, a weirdo and dirty. Its really not my thing, but I don't like to judge, so just said it wasn't anything to be ashamed of and laughed it off. Hes since seemed to take that as a green light that I'm also into it. Constantly referring to it, bringing it up and fitting it into conversations that hold no relevance. And even sending photos. Should I just call things off with him, as it doesn't appear we are a match or just tell him I'm not into it, how would I even word that? Please no nasty comments, I'm a really shy and introverted person and get confused with boundary setting occasionally. Thanks 😊

OP posts:
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Cerealkiller4U · 09/11/2024 23:10

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:09

I'm thinking something involving a male third party

Swingers party?

ooh!!!

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 09/11/2024 23:10

It's basically now compulsory that you tell us 🤣

When he next messages about it just say "omg bob can you stop going on about dogging? I don't judge you for it but it's not something I want to talk about"

Cerealkiller4U · 09/11/2024 23:10

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:09

I'm thinking something involving a male third party

That’s not out there at all though.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:09

Cerealkiller4U · 09/11/2024 23:08

I bet it’s golden showers.

I'm thinking something involving a male third party

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:08

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:07

Absolutely not. Can you image the photos lol

Sorry I'm not being a prick tease. I just can't even talk about what it is. I'd die of embarrassment

We need to know, op

Come Here Lets Go GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden
Cerealkiller4U · 09/11/2024 23:08

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 22:46

Omg op, what's the kink?

I bet it’s golden showers.

Pussycat22 · 09/11/2024 23:07

For god's sake tell us ......

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 23:07

OK so I mock but the bottom line is if you arent down with it you arent down with it.

But nobody know who you are so share the love. You say hobby so does he dress as a baby and want you to change his nappy and give him a Farleys rusk?

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:07

TheHighPriestess1 · 09/11/2024 23:04

Just tell us what it is OP is it poo or wee?

Absolutely not. Can you image the photos lol

Sorry I'm not being a prick tease. I just can't even talk about what it is. I'd die of embarrassment

OP posts:
Wolframandhart · 09/11/2024 23:06

Id just end it. He will try to wear you down. Who needs that?

Doliveira · 09/11/2024 23:06

Tell him it’s ickworthy. Quite literally, after a decent delay, reply with the word “icky” when he messages about it. Respect your own feelings and express them honestly, you’ll like yourself more if you do.

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:05

Renamed · 09/11/2024 23:03

Then tell him straight he’s got it wrong and you don’t want to hear about it or discuss it. If he takes that badly he’s definitely not boyfriend material and really not even your friend. He seems to be only viewing you now as a potential participant in whatever it is.

Actually I think you're right there. Its only since this conversation that he's turned on the charm, and been extra flirty and affectionate. Only just realised that. Wow I'm a div.

OP posts:
5foot5 · 09/11/2024 23:04

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 23:03

Furries?

You beat me to it, I was just about to ask this.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:04

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:01

Judging by the comments so far, I'm realising its a lot more "out there" than I originally thought. No wonder he's so surprised i didn't immediately block him.

👀

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TheHighPriestess1 · 09/11/2024 23:04

Just tell us what it is OP is it poo or wee?

Gettingbysomehow · 09/11/2024 23:03

My ex husband suddenly got into kink and was incessantly trying to push my boundaries. Im not into it at all. To the point where I got really upset and felt sickened by it.
We are now divorced. You need to tell him you are not interested and its not your thing and if he wont keave it then you know you have to get rid of him.

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 23:03

Furries?

Furries Furry Fandom GIF by 60 Second Docs
Renamed · 09/11/2024 23:03

Then tell him straight he’s got it wrong and you don’t want to hear about it or discuss it. If he takes that badly he’s definitely not boyfriend material and really not even your friend. He seems to be only viewing you now as a potential participant in whatever it is.

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:01

Judging by the comments so far, I'm realising its a lot more "out there" than I originally thought. No wonder he's so surprised i didn't immediately block him.

OP posts:
Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 22:59

Interl0per · 09/11/2024 22:38

Where are you on this spectrum, OP,:

  1. This is illegal/abusive

  2. I don't like this, and you being into it is giving me the ick

  3. I don't like this, I don't care that other people do, but bringing it into our bedroom is giving me the ick

  4. it's not my thing but I'll do it (occasionally) because my partner loves it

  5. it's not really my thing, but it's not a big deal and my partner loves it so we can do it whenever.

If you're on a 2-3 but he's saying "I'm a weirdo," and you reply "I'm not judging" he may interpret that conversation as "lots of women would have a problem with this, but OP seems OK with it"

You both need to be clear on where you stand

It's definitely 2/3
When he first came out with it, I was non plussed as I dont care what other people get up to. But him bringing it up is giving me the ick. Which makes me feel like a bitch.

I do feel like it's creepy for us to have had 1 conversation about it and then for him to keep laying it on me without any indication from me that its something I'd enjoy. Some of the comments have made me realise its not exactly gentlemanly behaviour and is ignoring my signals.

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 09/11/2024 22:57

He likes wearing women's underwear?

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 22:57

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 22:55

Lol nope

Cuckolding?

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 22:56

He wants you to urinate on him.

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 22:55

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 22:51

Its being pegged isnt it?

Lol nope

OP posts:
Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 22:53

Nchanged89 · 09/11/2024 22:52

I think it's balloons.
Or custard, one of those two for sure.

Sploshing.