Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriends kink

515 replies

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 22:27

So kind of a rude one, so I won't go into specifics. And he's not my boyfriend, he's an old fling who has been a friend for 15 years, and we were kind of thinking of getting together, but no idea how to word that.

I've always known he had a slightly kinky side, nothing mad just a little bit more adventurous than me. However he has recently revealed a kink/hobby? That i never knew about, he seemed totally ashamed and called himself a loser, a weirdo and dirty. Its really not my thing, but I don't like to judge, so just said it wasn't anything to be ashamed of and laughed it off. Hes since seemed to take that as a green light that I'm also into it. Constantly referring to it, bringing it up and fitting it into conversations that hold no relevance. And even sending photos. Should I just call things off with him, as it doesn't appear we are a match or just tell him I'm not into it, how would I even word that? Please no nasty comments, I'm a really shy and introverted person and get confused with boundary setting occasionally. Thanks 😊

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Pusheen467 · 09/11/2024 23:38

Is it getting off on wearing pissy nappies? I saw that on reddit.

Pizzatrip · 09/11/2024 23:35

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:33

Never mind. I Googled 😆

Not pup play then 🤣. Thought I’d cracked it!

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:35

Op if you don't put a stop to him, you'll end up as traumatised as this woman clearly is!

Boyfriends kink
HappyNewYear2027 · 09/11/2024 23:34

295bkq · 09/11/2024 23:32

If you say what it is, people can give you an objective opinion as to whether it’s a kink, or whether it’s really beyond the pale. Especially if he’s called himself dirty/loser/weirdo - that is concerning.

People these days aspire to be non judgemental,
which is great. But there are certain things which actually you do need to judge for your own self protection.

Perhaps that's exactly what it is. I don't know the term for it but degrading talk is a kink, being insulted, called every name under the sun.

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:33

Pizzatrip · 09/11/2024 23:31

Is it pup play? 🤣🤢🐕

Never mind. I Googled 😆

OP posts:
Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:32

Pizzatrip · 09/11/2024 23:31

Is it pup play? 🤣🤢🐕

What the heck is that??

OP posts:
295bkq · 09/11/2024 23:32

If you say what it is, people can give you an objective opinion as to whether it’s a kink, or whether it’s really beyond the pale. Especially if he’s called himself dirty/loser/weirdo - that is concerning.

People these days aspire to be non judgemental,
which is great. But there are certain things which actually you do need to judge for your own self protection.

Pizzatrip · 09/11/2024 23:31

Is it pup play? 🤣🤢🐕

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:31

I agree, i think it's the baby thing!

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:30

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 23:29

Evenin all

😄😄

MumOfOneAllAlone · 09/11/2024 23:30

TheHangingGardensOfBasildon · 09/11/2024 23:20

Does he like to dress up as Sir Peregrine Worsthorne whilst you smack his bottom with a rolled-up copy of the Financial Times?

If so, no need to worry; that's an extremely common kink.

🤭🤭

Scout2016 · 09/11/2024 23:30

On a separate note, I don't understand how anyone can be getting repeated unrequited and unmatched sex messages and not have already said "what are you doing? Stop it!" Why are you so worried about hurting his feelings when he's paying no attention to yours and deliberatelynot reading the room?
Unless there's a back story and you have been sending unrequited photos of yourself in a bath of super noodles or something. Which I doubt.

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 23:29

Evenin all

Jimmy Fallon Lol GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
StaunchMomma · 09/11/2024 23:28

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:10

The last message I had was a photo and then "how do I look" like as if he wants a compliment and he's proud.

Oh God, he's not a 'baby' is he?!! Or a fucking dog or something?!

Pussycat22 · 09/11/2024 23:27

PickAChew ,speak for yourself!!!!

User54614664 · 09/11/2024 23:25

PickAChew · 09/11/2024 23:17

FFS, we don't need to know what it is.

Just make it clear that you're not interested, @Kneebonefuture and that he has mistaken your not being bothered that he has the kink with being actively enthusiastic about it so can he please stop for the sake of your friendship.

Yes we do need to know what it is. The gifs in this thread have had me howling.

It clearly involves some sort of dressing up, which precludes body fluid related kinks. S&M or bondage are too mainstream, nothing worth starting a thread over. Is it some type of mask fetish? There are loads of subcultures on social media where women simp over men wearing the Scream movie mask or cosplaying Ghost from COD. Otherwise I'm also betting on furry! Or some sort of age regression play? Like dressing up as an adult baby?

IKEAJesus · 09/11/2024 23:25

CountZacular · 09/11/2024 23:24

I have a sinking feeling it might involve wearing nappies (please tell me it isn’t, OP!)

I had the same sinking feeling

Tangobag · 09/11/2024 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Throwing slurs around is much more disgusting than any kink I can think of. Grow up :)

Pisssflapps · 09/11/2024 23:25

What a let down but we can only imagine it was something incredibly extreme.

CountZacular · 09/11/2024 23:24

I have a sinking feeling it might involve wearing nappies (please tell me it isn’t, OP!)

Scout2016 · 09/11/2024 23:24

I'm not really sure how you can go back to being friends after he's sent you whatever it is several times...but you're definitely not compatible as lovers.

"I said it was nothing to be ashamed about, that doesn’t mean I want to join in with it. If I was into it too then I would have said that instead."

Whatever this thing is, the other sissy thing is enough for me to say run. He'll never be as interested in you as he is in himself.

DriedHydrangeas · 09/11/2024 23:22

Just say ‘Look Nigel, the mere idea of you wearing M and S women’s scanties makes my vagina clamp shut. Go and bother someone else.’

TheHangingGardensOfBasildon · 09/11/2024 23:20

Does he like to dress up as Sir Peregrine Worsthorne whilst you smack his bottom with a rolled-up copy of the Financial Times?

If so, no need to worry; that's an extremely common kink.

CandyCane457 · 09/11/2024 23:20

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:19

Thank you everyone you've all been so kind. I was really expecting the worst in responses. I'm just going to have to be brave and tell him to knock it off.

Good on you, him constantly going on about it ia not a good sign at all, I don’t think he’s the one for you. I liked the response idea someone suggested unthread where they just said along the lines of “oh stop banging on about this, I’m not into it”. Good luck!

Kneebonefuture · 09/11/2024 23:19

Thank you everyone you've all been so kind. I was really expecting the worst in responses. I'm just going to have to be brave and tell him to knock it off.

OP posts: