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AIBU?

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Original poster

To accept weaker orgasms

66 replies

Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:02

Hi I am 45 and have always had a decent libido and good orgasms. I suspect I’m in the perimenopause and the last year my orgasms are just so weak. Is this something I have to accept as part of aging? I’ve tried pelvic floor and used a Kelgel machine for a year (improved bladder function but hasn’t increased them). It’s making sex not worth the effort. Is this normal and something I just have to accept?

OP posts:
Allthegoodusernamesareused · 09/11/2024 20:23

I totally get it. I'm late 40's, peri, and recently started on sertraline for severe anxiety, as well as HRT.
I have to work so hard to climax at all, and when I do, it's frankly pathetic. I used to have wonderful orgasms.

Original poster
Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:21

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:18

Time for a new one then?! 😜

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how old are you? Women also can give themselves orgasms to test out this theory 🙄

OP posts:
Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:18

Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:17

It’s my husband of 25 years 🙄

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Time for a new one then?! 😜

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:17

ToNiceWithSpice · 09/11/2024 20:14

How about women shouldn't have to put up with a less fulfilling sex life just because they are menopausal. Has nothing to do with who the op is having sex with

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But there is more to just sex than the orgasm at the end! OP is still having them but she said the fact that they weren't as strong made it almost not worth it.The closeness and being together to me is just as important as the end result.

Original poster
Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:17

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:12

If the only reason for having sex is the strength of the orgasm at the end maybe you're having sex with the wrong person? Not meaning that as a snarky comment, even though it sounds like one.

It’s my husband of 25 years 🙄

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 09/11/2024 20:17

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:12

If the only reason for having sex is the strength of the orgasm at the end maybe you're having sex with the wrong person? Not meaning that as a snarky comment, even though it sounds like one.

Which was said to no man...............ever!!!

ToNiceWithSpice · 09/11/2024 20:14

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:12

If the only reason for having sex is the strength of the orgasm at the end maybe you're having sex with the wrong person? Not meaning that as a snarky comment, even though it sounds like one.

How about women shouldn't have to put up with a less fulfilling sex life just because they are menopausal. Has nothing to do with who the op is having sex with

GoingRoundThatBlockAgain · 09/11/2024 20:14

veryyydemure · 09/11/2024 20:09

Is the cream prescription only?

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Yes but you can buy it online eg from Superdrug, you fill out an online consultation. Cheaper to get from GP on prescription though. And covered by an HRT pre payment certificate.

Ponoka7 · 09/11/2024 20:13

I found once I was fully through the menopause they came back as they were.

GoingRoundThatBlockAgain · 09/11/2024 20:12

Definitely chat to GP and see if suitable. Local oestrogen helps with general thinning of the tissues in the vulva/vagina and bladder issues, so worth considering as you approach menopause.

You can get topical oestrogen in two forms: Vagifem pessaries (tiny solid tablet) or cream. IMO the cream is better if you want to apply it to clitoris/vulva.

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:12

If the only reason for having sex is the strength of the orgasm at the end maybe you're having sex with the wrong person? Not meaning that as a snarky comment, even though it sounds like one.

veryyydemure · 09/11/2024 20:09

GoingRoundThatBlockAgain · 09/11/2024 20:07

Oestrogen cream applied to the whole vulva and / or inside vagina. Plumps the whole area back up and can reignite sensitivity.

HRT can help general meno symptoms but many women need local oestrogen too.

Is the cream prescription only?

Original poster
Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:09

I’ve had ovarian cancer in the past so hrt is something I am going to need to discuss with oncology. The cream sounds great!!!

OP posts:
GoingRoundThatBlockAgain · 09/11/2024 20:07

Oestrogen cream applied to the whole vulva and / or inside vagina. Plumps the whole area back up and can reignite sensitivity.

HRT can help general meno symptoms but many women need local oestrogen too.

Ginkypig · 09/11/2024 20:07

Are you trying anything like hrt?

I don’t know if it’s something that you just have to accept to be honest but i also don’t have answers for you. The reason I am asking about other things is in case it is something hormone related that hrt or something else could sort.

also there is a menopause section here that may be helpful as lots of us are in the same position (menopause I mean) so you might get some targeted answers from other women going through it.

MyStickIsBetterThanBacon · 09/11/2024 20:04

B Vitamins helped me.