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AIBU?

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Original poster

To accept weaker orgasms

66 replies

Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:02

Hi I am 45 and have always had a decent libido and good orgasms. I suspect I’m in the perimenopause and the last year my orgasms are just so weak. Is this something I have to accept as part of aging? I’ve tried pelvic floor and used a Kelgel machine for a year (improved bladder function but hasn’t increased them). It’s making sex not worth the effort. Is this normal and something I just have to accept?

OP posts:
notsosweet16 · 09/11/2024 22:07

I had exactly the same issue (thanks peri). I started taking menopause complex by Hey Nutrition and my libido came back and so did the knee trembling orgasms. It’s the main reason I carry on taking it as don’t really have many other peri symptoms.

princesspadam · 09/11/2024 22:06

I'm on HRT
The vaginal pessaries and testosterone has given me my orgasms back and I am super happy with this!!!!!
It's been a game changer
Also on sertraline

greengreyblue · 09/11/2024 22:01

Mine dimmed a bit but came back. I’m 2 years post meno. I use Ovestin.

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 09/11/2024 22:00

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:17

But there is more to just sex than the orgasm at the end! OP is still having them but she said the fact that they weren't as strong made it almost not worth it.The closeness and being together to me is just as important as the end result.

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I love my husband with my whole heart and we have always had a good sex life but there are lots of ways for me to feel close to him and a large part of the reason for sex is the orgasms. Otherwise I could feel close to him by falling asleep in his arms.

My perimenopausal orgasms definitely felt like the volume had been dialled down and then I started in testosterone gel and they’re now back to normal.

Zigazigaaaaaah · 09/11/2024 21:50

That’s encouraging about vit B12 I’m a year post breast cancer and early menopause being induced. Worry that’s it for sex and I’m not even 40 😭@VWT5

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 21:45

Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 21:43

I reckon you are just used to crap sex with no orgasms

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I orgasm regularly (sorry) but sometimes I can't because I take medication that gets in the way and I still really enjoy it. Didn't realise that was weird!

Futurethinking2026 · 09/11/2024 21:43

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 09/11/2024 20:23

I totally get it. I'm late 40's, peri, and recently started on sertraline for severe anxiety, as well as HRT.
I have to work so hard to climax at all, and when I do, it's frankly pathetic. I used to have wonderful orgasms.

Sertraline made it almost impossible for me.

Original poster
Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 21:43

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 21:41

Sorry! I obviously have a better relationship with my partner than you do or you wouldn't be so snarky!

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I reckon you are just used to crap sex with no orgasms

OP posts:
JoJothegerbil · 09/11/2024 21:41

I've had womb cancer and am able to have Vagifem pessaries. I might look into Ovestin though too.

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 21:41

Kitkat1523 · 09/11/2024 21:35

Well get you 🙄

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Sorry! I obviously have a better relationship with my partner than you do or you wouldn't be so snarky!

Kitkat1523 · 09/11/2024 21:37

Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:09

I’ve had ovarian cancer in the past so hrt is something I am going to need to discuss with oncology. The cream sounds great!!!

I’ve had breast cancer…..my team are happy for me to use blissel gel…..it’s lower dose vaginal estrogen …..your gp can prescribe

Kitkat1523 · 09/11/2024 21:35

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:17

But there is more to just sex than the orgasm at the end! OP is still having them but she said the fact that they weren't as strong made it almost not worth it.The closeness and being together to me is just as important as the end result.

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Well get you 🙄

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 21:30

Mirabai · 09/11/2024 21:21

Yes. 😆

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OK, I'll shut up now lol

Mirabai · 09/11/2024 21:21

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:58

Honestly! You lot! 70 is my year of birth so no, am not an old hag who sailed through menopause, am right in the midst of it. What is wrong with thinking there is more to sex than just having a powerful orgasm at the end of it? I mean, orgasms are great but if something happened so I never had another one, I wouldn't think sex wasn't worth the effort anymore. I like the closeness and the whole act. The orgasm is an added bonus. Am I easy pleased or something?

Yes. 😆

Original poster
Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 21:19

Thanks so much ladies for this advice - I just feel like I’ve turned into an elderly woman almost overnight - I will look into and try everything being suggested!

OP posts:
VWT5 · 09/11/2024 20:58

Vitamin B12, from the pharmacy. Improves nerve response. Worked for me and a friend. Worth researching.

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:58

Honestly! You lot! 70 is my year of birth so no, am not an old hag who sailed through menopause, am right in the midst of it. What is wrong with thinking there is more to sex than just having a powerful orgasm at the end of it? I mean, orgasms are great but if something happened so I never had another one, I wouldn't think sex wasn't worth the effort anymore. I like the closeness and the whole act. The orgasm is an added bonus. Am I easy pleased or something?

Vittoriosmistress · 09/11/2024 20:51

Ffs @Hoglet70 🙈🙈

MermaidEyes · 09/11/2024 20:47

Do you have any toys? If not it might be worth trying for something a little different. It can help some women achieve a better orgasm.

UtterlyButterly2048 · 09/11/2024 20:42

I am peri and mine went….a bit crap for a while. Difficult to describe but no…..oomph? Absolutely nothing my dh was doing wrong (he is quite…..er…..skilled?🤣🤣) I am reluctant to take HRT for medical reasons (I have a well managed condition that may be disrupted by it) but I tried the Elle Sera supplement and…..all back to normal. At £50 per month it’s not cheap but for me, it works and is worth it.

greengreyblue · 09/11/2024 20:41

Ovestin cream is your friend.

Combattingthemoaners · 09/11/2024 20:34

It may be worth seeing a pelvic physio to see if there is anything you can do. There are so many silly comments on here, makes me angry! A woman has the right to feel frustrated and has the right to want a better orgasm. Always idiots cropping up on every thread to kick people when they’re down.

GoingRoundThatBlockAgain · 09/11/2024 20:27

You’re replying to the OP! 😆😆 Maybe she’s testing the theory through all methods ☺️

I hope that the 70 in your name suggests your age and that you are one of the lucky ladies who sailed through menopause with no issues. Well, to that I say gynae problems including vaginal atrophy and bladder issues can follow in the future even when post-meno, so take notes ma’am! cackles like evil fairy hag

Hoglet70 · 09/11/2024 20:24

Lennon80 · 09/11/2024 20:21

how old are you? Women also can give themselves orgasms to test out this theory 🙄

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When did the OP said it was all her orgasms? She said when she was having sex, she did not mention masturbation.