To think some people exaggerate how tired they are as parents?

Hmm - thats not my experience.

I've been a full time working single parent since my twins were babies - I haven't slept more than 2-3 hours in a row in years. Am I tired? Of course but I do hate the competitive tiredness that seems to go on.

YANBU.

We all have our challenges. Middle age insomnia is far more debilitating as far as I am concerned.

The endless whining by new parents is extremely tiresome.

I’ve never ever been that tired in my life and I used to work long hours, all nighters sometimes. Nothing compared to the months and months of never getting any sleep before 1am at the earliest, usually later and never getting more than an hour or so at the most. Are you generally incapable of imagining anything outside of your own experience?

YABVU

I do think a lot of it is mental too

What to eat for dinner
Need to remember XYZ for DD'S school activity tomorrow
Work project due X date

Etc etc

Uh, the first three years per child are very hard

I was really tired

I don't doubt they're tired, especially when their child is ill. What I find a bit odd though is that sympathy only seems to go towards the tired parent/s and not the poor child who is sick and miserable. That's who I feel sorry for.

Well I guess that depends on people's individual circumstances.
Are they lone parents? Do their kids have SEN? Do they have no support?
Do they have health issues of their own?

I won't go into my own reasons, but people who know me often ask, are you sleeping? You look shattered. Mostly because I am. I am bone crushingly tired and it leads to me getting unwell every few weeks.

Before I had kids, I used to say how tired I was. What a joke. I used to lay in on weekends!
Now I have kids, I am absolutely knackered. The baby side (colic/reflux/poorly babies), broken sleep for years on end, now working, running a home, raising kids, running them around etc. I look like a zombie. I've not felt refreshed even when I've had a (very rare) weekend break. I'm just used to it now and have accepted it. I do think it depends on the individual though. My friend has more kids than I and pregnant, still working, survives on 4/5 hours if that sleep and always looks great. Very very rarely complains about being tired.

I don't have children but can imagine how relentless and tiring it can be at times.

I'm pretty exhausted after a vicious disease and all the drugs I'm put on.

If you're tired you're tired, I don't have the extra component of having to look after little ones, but I cannot work at present so that is a money worry. Everyone has their own equation if that makes sense.

I disagree. I really enjoyed the early years and miss it.

My DC got up everyday around 5am sometimes 4.20am for years and didn’t sleep through the night, everyone said wait till he’s a teen and sleeps loads, no he doesn’t, then working on too, the worry and stress etc, I have been exhausted for over a decade 😂

YANBU
I think it varies, though. Working parents are obviously more tired. I also find it's not the actual parenting that's tiring. It's the multitude of fun family activities organised. I find parenting more tiring now DC are older. It was much easier parenting preschoolers.

I was early 40’s when I had DS and DH was late 40’s. We were absolutely dead on our feet through lack of sleep in the early months. We had no family help at all and did literally everything ourselves. Nobody so much as made us a cup of tea.

We moaned to each other about how tired each of us were but never said anything to anyone else.

I find it easier now having him run is ragged now with his unlimited energy resources because I know at the end of every day he’ll sleep for an unbroken 11 hours and I can recharge my batteries.

I'm so tired all the time and when he's not with me I'm tired from worrying about all the worrying I have to do
Constantly on edge
There is nothing like this tiredness having a toddler and a job. Except the exhaustion of having a newborn.
I also got tired in my 20s when I was going out every night and then to work, but I was able to handle it as I have lie ins at the weekend and it was all planned and also I was 20

Raising kids isn't that hard. Having 3 years without a single full night's sleep is tiring though. Mostly 6 broken hours or less. For the first 6 months 4 hours max per night.

To be fair it's probably because they can live their lives like non-parents and still socialise, go to the gym, weekends away, have hobbies etc etc. So probably knackered from doing all that.

I used to think this… until I became a parent and now I would love for one morning just to wake myself up 🤣

Drained is probably more accurate.
Nowadays I get a reasonable amount of unbroken sleep most nights, but not having a single second off 'being mum' and never being able to switch off or share the load is draining all life out of me (single parent, no family, no contact with dc dad).
For me it's the stress that's a killer, way more than the lack of sleep.

Yes I think some do. My stepson and partner tell us all the time how exhausted they are and how they dont have a minute. They both work part-time in well paid jobs and own a fantastic home. They have one child who has a lovely easy going nature. All grandparents are local and we all help out regularly. They are doing a wonderful job of raising their child, but my god they seem to be the busiest people on earth and are always exhausted. I genuinely don't understand.

Maybe some people but I didn't appreciate how utterly exhausting it was until I had 2 small kids. If anything, I used to underplay it and I'm sure many are the same too. I would constantly fall asleep on the couch at about 7.30 or 8 and just accepted that was life and didn't mention it to people.

Why do we do it to ourselves?
I feel like people lie to us about the harsh reality that parenting is actually not that fun, especially in the early years. They tell us to 'savour every moment' but that's so so difficult when all you want is your bed and total silence.
Bedtime is kind of like trying to clock out of a never ending shift at work, just as you are about to leave for the day, something crops up so you deal with that then proceed to leave then another thing happens and you stay the whole night but still have to get up and do it again tomorrow, you can't quit this never ending job either so you just zombie through it.

So yes, I think the vast majority of parents are so crazily fucking exhausted, it's a different kind of exhaustion though because there isn't a 12 hour break in between shifts. In a way it's a bit like psychological torture.

Can you tell how tired I am?

Nothing, absolutely nothing, Haa ever come close to teaching full time with non sleeping toddlers. And that went on for about 6 years. I got used to the lack of sleep, although how I drove to work safely, I will never know.

I've got more energy in my 40s than I had in my 30s, and that's thanks to having teenagers now.

Just when they start sleeping more (teens) you start sleeping less (menopause)