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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm finding the dark days and nights so difficult. What can I do?

106 replies

FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 16:31

Just that really. It's having a massive effect on my mental health and I'm feeling very much like I can't cope. Life seems so bleak. Any tips to help me get through to spring?

OP posts:
AgileGreenSeal · 09/11/2024 18:49

Get outside during daylight for as long as possible every day. Do some exercise.

Auburngal · 09/11/2024 18:48

Sweepsthepillowclean · 09/11/2024 16:57

I am the opposite. I love this time of year. I revel in it but I suffer quite badly in the Summertime because I simply hate it. So I understand that feeling of pulling the curtains in the morning and getting that sinking feeling. I don’t have any solutions OP but I can honestly understand how the lack of light, or in my case abundance of light can have such a negative impact on your mental health.

I am not good in the summer. Worst is when there is extreme high pollen count which affects asthma and hay fever. Then get people shouting in their back gardens playing crap music til 1am

FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:48

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HappyNewYear2027 · 09/11/2024 18:47

FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:45

I really wouldn't. It wasn't meant as one.

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How do you know? I wasn't replying to you

FaceLikeACrackedScreen · 09/11/2024 18:47

I try to go for a walk if I’m wfh or do 30 mins of yoga if I’m in the office. I don’t like baths, I get bored.

I also sign up for things in the winter to make sure I’m doing something a couple of evenings, a yoga class, painting class, etc.. If I didn’t actually pay for a term of classes here and there all I’d do is work and not actually leave the house otherwise during the week.

Original poster
FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:45

HappyNewYear2027 · 09/11/2024 18:35

I'm going to take that as a complement

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I really wouldn't. It wasn't meant as one.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:44

HappyNewYear2027 · 09/11/2024 18:34

I actually love the darkness, the cold, gloomy, wet, what some call miserable weather. Yes I'm an unpleasant person.

I just don't understand why you've not tried the hundreds of suggestions mentioned in the hundreds of threads posted about this exact topic every year since Mumsnet has existed. I understand seasonal depression makes you lazy but you're already typing on your phone, to make a new thread is actually more work than searching for any of the previous threads which have pages and pages of advice/tips.

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This thread is obviously bothering you so why are you on it? You really are a tedious, rather shitty person aren't you? I started the thread because I want to help myself. Of the thread helps other people too, then great.

I can start a thread on whatever I like.

Other posters are being really helpful.

OP posts:
Auburngal · 09/11/2024 18:44

Take Vitamin D, ideally needs D3 which the one you get from sunlight. This boosts your MH and immune system.

Increase eating more fruit n veg and anything else with high oxidants.

Listen to meditation and positive mindfulness podcasts

Keep active - doesn't just mean walking. Doing some YT video work outs.

Wear positive bright colours

Errors · 09/11/2024 18:39

OP could you even use this thread as a ‘support through the winter’ thread if you’re so inclined?

AllTangledUpInTinselAndTiaras · 09/11/2024 18:37

Lean into the hygge aspect! Whenever you're at home make it as cosy and lovely as possible. Think of it as the season of hibernation and extra self-care. Take magnesium to help you absorb the vitamin D. Get sunlight as much as you can.

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 09/11/2024 18:35

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What a truly shitty thing to say. Have some empathy.

HappyNewYear2027 · 09/11/2024 18:35

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 09/11/2024 18:30

Fuck me, I'm harsh but you definately take the biscuit. OP is obviously struggling and asking for suggestions which he/she will probably try. God forbid anyone asks you to pee on them if they're on fire!

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I'm going to take that as a complement

Errors · 09/11/2024 18:34

I also wanted to add that increasing my iron levels and vit D did wonders for my mood and energy levels. Taking strong iron tablets had the same effect on me as taking anti depressants years ago! (I’m not on them anymore)
Dont listen to the GP if they say your ferritin is fine because it’s above 30. It needs to be at about 100

Changedname23 · 09/11/2024 18:34

I usually book a weekend in the Sun in late Sept so see me through the winter. Aside from that I kind of surrender to it and enjoy lighting the fire, candles and watching rubbish on the TV!

HappyNewYear2027 · 09/11/2024 18:34

FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:17

Oh and I have been to the doctors about depression as a starting point so I am trying to help myself, thank you very much. You sound like an unpleasant person. Dark days and nights getting to you too?

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I actually love the darkness, the cold, gloomy, wet, what some call miserable weather. Yes I'm an unpleasant person.

I just don't understand why you've not tried the hundreds of suggestions mentioned in the hundreds of threads posted about this exact topic every year since Mumsnet has existed. I understand seasonal depression makes you lazy but you're already typing on your phone, to make a new thread is actually more work than searching for any of the previous threads which have pages and pages of advice/tips.

Errors · 09/11/2024 18:33

FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:12

I'm not complaining. I'm simply asking for help because I'm finding things difficult. That's why I'm asking for tips.

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Oh bless you OP, you’re not even biting back!
Dont worry, nobody else seems to mind you asking x

quirkychick · 09/11/2024 18:32

@MrsLangOnionsMcWeetabix Sejsejlija has some YouTube videos about how to survive dark, winter days - v helpful (didn't need the advice about taking a rifle in case you meet a polar bear, though 😉).

I think having a plan and feeling you're proactive going into winter and dark days is helpful too. So you have some control rather than it just happening to you. I literally put going for walks and socialising onto my Google calendar which has reminders on my phone.

@FlippertyFlopperty it might be worth asking your GP for a blood test for vit D - both dds had v low vit D and were prescribed v high dose vit D ampoules. Low magnesium/iron can also cause low mood and anxiety, so also worth checking. Eating nourishing foods generally helps in the cold weather, soups, stews, tea all warming and cheering.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 09/11/2024 18:30

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Fuck me, I'm harsh but you definately take the biscuit. OP is obviously struggling and asking for suggestions which he/she will probably try. God forbid anyone asks you to pee on them if they're on fire!

Original poster
FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:18

stewfordinner · 09/11/2024 18:15

Vit d supplement helps me

I have some vitamin d actually. I'll go and find it and remember to take it. Thank you @stewfordinner 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:17

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Oh and I have been to the doctors about depression as a starting point so I am trying to help myself, thank you very much. You sound like an unpleasant person. Dark days and nights getting to you too?

OP posts:
stewfordinner · 09/11/2024 18:15

Vit d supplement helps me

Original poster
FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:15

Thank you for your suggestions everyone. I've been looking at lumia lamps. Candles and luxurious baths are a great idea.

OP posts:
Lostthetastefordahlias · 09/11/2024 18:13

I’m finding these ideas helpful. Thanks for the thread OP. No idea where the hostile responses are coming from.

Original poster
FlippertyFlopperty · 09/11/2024 18:12

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I'm not complaining. I'm simply asking for help because I'm finding things difficult. That's why I'm asking for tips.

OP posts:
Sourisblanche · 09/11/2024 18:06

I’m the same as you. I get outside every day, multiple times, the dog gets far more walks this time of year.

Candles and led tea lights. I bought a mini pre-lit Christmas tree for the bedroom. Dh did the world’s biggest eye roll when I put it up last month, but now he admits it’s needed in the mornings when we get up in the dark.

Posh tea in nice teapots.

Indoor bulbs. Lovely to see something grow green shoots at this time of year.Smile