To think living at home at 27 isn’t shameful?

And? I bought a flat in a city centre in the 2000s when I was 24 and had an absolute blast too. Had lots of friends to go out with, but really enjoyed not having to share my own space if I didn't feel like it. Different people want different things, and have different opportunities and resources. Buying a home doesn't mean you can't also have fun.

These people who are judging you. How would their lives hold up if they had been thrown into chaos through no fault of their own like you.

While I don't dwell on things most people are a day away from disaster

@allaboutsign No I haven't as unlike most of my peers, I don't have a husband or partner who can pay the mortgage and I also have health issues.
I know women earning less than 10k with no kids who live in lovely homes as they are on the main paid for by their partner. The ones who judge me are usually older people, those with wealthy partners or those who inherit. Not to mention those who are lucky enough to not be struck down with health issues before they have hit 40.

I know many will say I am making excuses but some are not aware of their privilege or luck.

Good for you and your mum. It sounds like a great solution. You're not going to be living at home for life but a couple of years.
One of my DC came home for a year after a hiccup in life. It was completely different to when they were teenagers or at uni. We moved things around so they had some private living space and it worked well. I'd much rather they came home than be miserable in an extortionate rental.

@Autumnal589 have you ever moved out?

Same situation (although I actually don't hate it). Just wanted to post to say you're not alone. Feel free to PM me if you want 🙂.

OP there's absolutely nothing shameful or embarrassing about living at home. If it's working for you, then it's great and sounds like your mum is enjoying it too. My best friend is actually 'jealous' of my setup, her parents live in India and she'd love to have them under the same roof. As long as relationships are good, I think it can work well, and it's helpful to realise that our expectations are very much culturally determined (and we can choose to let that go).

Son 25 daughter 26 still at home. Can't even see them moving out in the near future even though they both work full time as it is so expensive. They can stay as long as they want to. I can't see anything wrong with it nowadays.

Bless you, you sound lovely OP.
I’m really sorry that happened to you. Things will all work out for the best in the end xx

Sure but then presumably you wouldn’t have been the right person for the OP. People find all different things a turn off from not being able to drive to the type of cologne a person wears to job they have. I had a friend at Uni who had a boyfriend who was horrified that she moved out before a serious relationship because he felt she didn’t value saving and family enough.

OP if a person is turned off by this then they’re not for you and it’s better to know this early. It’s no biggie, just not the right match.

The people that said something were awful, talk about kicking someone when they are going through a difficult time that was not of their own making.

I moved out at 29. That gave me chance to save a deposit for a house.
I paid rent, did my fair share round the house.
I didn't mind and more to the point neither did my parents.

There’s a disappointing bingo sheet in these types of threads where posters let the OP know that they moved out as soon as possible, they can’t fathom how another person could live with their parents, they strongly suggest there’s a form time limit and usually remind the OP that they aren’t really truly living an adult life until they live alone. It’s a bit sad to read these posts.

Living alone or in a share house works for some and living with multiple generations works for others. All great! In many cultures it’s expected that multiple generations will live together. If you get along well with family (parents or otherwise) then it’s great to share bills, enjoy each others company and help each other out. It’s not really different from living with anyone else. If you don’t want to live alone right now then don’t. Live with anyone who makes life better right now (parents or otherwise). We have a mental health crisis in our society. Living alone and in poverty to feel independent and grown is a recipe for poor mental health. Enjoy your life and live with family for as long as it works for you!

Advice I would give to myself at your age. Stop giving a fck what anyone else thinks.

50 was too old to learn this lesson.

I'm going to be honest here and say that when I was dating in my 20s I would have found a 27 year-old single man still living with his parents a complete turn off.

However your situation is a bit different in that you did buy a property and move out, but your ex fucked things up.

I’d be happy to have kids at home as long as they were actually saving money, really saving it for a deposit.
Firmly believe parent job is to teach children to be able to support selves, & any children they have.

did you used to think anyone in their mid twenties at home was something to be shameful about?

presumably not

So you really didn’t need validation that something as innocuous as this isn’t shameful

I moved home after uni and would have been there until about 23/24 if I hadn’t switched to living with now DH. and that was … a while ago.

i think there will be a return to multigenerational households and i fully expect my kids to live at home for their 20s (unless they marry and move out). It’s too expensive to live alone.

colleagues of mine who still live with parents tend not to have partners and it’s cheaper and nicer for the generations to live together. Grandparents can easily do childcare and housekeeping, while their millennial kids bring in cash. Seems to work well.

no i meant the idea that settling down and buying a property at 24

harder down south
but also… not very appealing to many in their early twenties anyway!

If you and your DM are happy with the situation that's all that matters. It's got nothing to do with anyone else and they need to mind their own business.

It’s not shameful and logical in your circumstances, you have to live somewhere.
Overall I agree that you need to have a plan and better not to stay for longer then 2 years otherwise you and mum might end up relying on each other too much.
You don’t owe explanations to anyone but it’s better to have ready prepared answers depending who is asking about your living arrangements. E.g. I rent a room (for those very brief passing conversations when no one see each other ever again).
Or I’m saving for a deposit at the moment.
I know from experience that if your situation is non standard (in your circle) it’s tempting for people to talk about it, ask your questions and give ( unsolicited) advices so it’s better to be in control of this: don’t complain about your mum too much and generally have “distraction” topics ready.

You & your mom get on, & you’re saving towards your next step. You’re doing just fine.

Op live for today.

Be happy and secure xxx