To think living at home at 27 isn’t shameful?

You need a prepared answer for people like this. Almost a media spokesperson-type quote. And then as someone suggested above, some distraction topics up your sleeve to immediately move on to. You're doing great, and you live with someone you love and trust, who you can rely on. You didn't have that when you owned a house with your ex. I boomeranged home a couple of times myself. It wasn't always easy, but aren't we lucky to have it to fall back?

You did really well to get your own place at 24 and it is just bad luck that you found yourself in this position when the relationship broke up.

No way, these days, do you need to be embarrassed at living with parents. Our DD moved back home after she graduated and was lucky enough to find her ideal job just a few miles away so living at home was a viable option.

She insisted on paying rent but, obviously, we charged her less than a commercial rent would be. We are her parents not her landlords so as long as she paid her way we didn't want to make money out of her. This meant she could save hard towards a deposit and take advantage of all the saving schemes.

We also live in the Manchester area and, you are right, Manchester is expensive. DD eventually bought in Stockport. She was 27, same age as you, when she moved out. However, given the relationship hiccups it is understandable that you are still needing DP as a base.

Anyone who thinks this is a problem is clearly out of touch.

Crikey! If I could move back in with my mum at 45 I would 😅 (both have pets - it's not an option).

The younger women at work on a similar salary, living at home have an enviable level of disposable income to me.

People do what they need to do & as long as it’s good for both & they agree, then fine.

My mother, and brother moved in together for a year when they were 78 and 55. Brother just divorced and needing a place, mother sold her place too and new purchase fell thru. They moved in together for 18 months, rented bigger house, both had privacy. I was shocked at first, but they seemed to have a good arrangement and gave mum chance to find right new home without pressure. (And both saved ££ while finding right new home. )

As many have said, it's abiut what you do while there
Contributing to chores and behaving respectfully, fine
Still acting like a teenager....not so much

I left home at 17 ! Wouldn't ever go back but the cost of rent now is soo much more im now 37

I don't agree at all that it is 'wrong ' to never leave home. Of course it's not what most people want but financially many can't afford to go it alone. Saying stuff like that is really short sighted and rude in my opinion.
As I have noted before, many people don't have the privilege of meeting a partner who can provide for them. They aren't born into wealth, inherit early, get given large deposits or have good health. The people who make comments saying it is weird or wrong to live at home are the ones who don't recognise their own privilege.

I'm really sorry for what's happened. Not at all what you would have planned when you bought this property with him.

Stay with your mum and enjoy this time. You're 27 which, for what it's worth, is young. But, in any case, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone.

You're doing fine, OP.

I took my 2 children and moved back in with my mum for 6 months after a bereavement. I was 30.
I don't think anyone thought that was strange at all. Also, who cares.
I also didn't pay any rent in that time as she wouldn't accept it. I did do all the chores in the house though and buy all the food and cook for everyone. It was a lot easier when I moved back out into my own house.
My children would be welcome to come home at any time/ age when they are older. I think it's only shameful if you never leave home, don't work and scrounge off family as an adult leaving your parents short of money. If you are staying with family to better yourself and get a deposit together then I think that's a great idea.

Do what suits you

However, I am curious

Could you have rented out your property & gone back to live with your DM ?

Could you have stayed in the property & rented out a spare room ?

From experience I don't think you grow up and appreciate the realities of caring for a place until you have moved out for a time. After that, it doesn't matter if you move back in. People who have moved out and then back tend to contribute more to the household and respect what their parents are doing and paying which is the important thing.

I moved back home for a time after being overseas. My brother did after a breakup. Even deciding to stay with your parent/s on an ongoing basis makes sense if you have a respectful adult relationship.

@wheredidthetime · Today 20:17

Hi my DD has moved back home last year age 27 she left to go to uni and then back then travelled then rented with friends we are in London and it was a ridiculous amount of rent. She asked to move back in. It helps me with the contribution she gives me also whats not lovely about having you adult DD living you. We both get on with our own lives and leads a independent life. She has saved enough to be able to fill an ambition of hers which she never would have been able to do without moving back home.

Exactly! My 2 DC left 10 or 11 years ago for Uni and when they finished Uni, they didn't want to come back because we moved out into the sticks - 18 to 20 miles from the town we had always lived in. And they live in that town now.

We see them 2 or 3 times a month though, and that's lovely. But I'd love to live in a big 4 or 5 bedroom house and have them living with us. We live in a little 2 bed cottage now, so there's not much room, but they could always come back if they needed to.

They'd always be welcome and we'd find room for them. 😄

Hi my DD has moved back home last year age 27 she left to go to uni and then back then travelled then rented with friends we are in London and it was a ridiculous amount of rent. She asked to move back in. It helps me with the contribution she gives me also whats not lovely about having you adult DD living you. We both get on with our own lives and leads a independent life. She has saved enough to be able to fill an ambition of hers which she never would have been able to do without moving back home. If it works for you don't listen to anyone else. She is going in January. And the older DD and her boyfriend might be moving in for 6 months just before they are in a position to buy. Op how wonderful that you have this brilliant relationship with your mum. In Europe it's not unusual for families to live together. X

You are definitely not a freeloader; you pay rent and I imagine you don't treat your mum like your housekeeper so I don't see the harm in you living at home as long as you and your mum are happy about the arrangment.
What most people (myself included) judge is when adults are staying on at home and acting like they were still teenagers not paying rent/helping out having mum cook, clean and do your laundry etc. That's called freeloading and refusing to grow up. My DH stayed with his parents until 27 saving up for mortgage. I wasn't in his position, moved out at 17 and due to strained relations never went back. You're lucky to have a good relationship with your mother and maybe people are just jealous of that? You can tell people who are passing judgment on you that not all of us are born into wealth and can afford a mortgage and luckily you are very happy to spend a couple of years with your mother because it works out great for both of you.

OP - it's always been normal for adult DC to live at home in their 20s. Some on MN like to make out it's weird. It's not.

And southerners bang on about how it's just about acceptable in the SE or London because it's soooo expensive there but rent and mortgages in the north and the Midlands are expensive for us because we don't have London wages!

Me neither. I am so confused. I don't know what I am meant to have said or done. I think that poster is getting me confused with someone else somehow. I'm not engaging with her again now.

the poster talks about parents

and you think that she’s making a point about parents with serious mental health issues such as your mother?

I have zero affiliation with that poster… but i don’t see how on earth you could have interpreted it as ever remotely referring to anything in your post

Sounds like a great idea. People are probably just interested and trying to make conversation also people often get sick of living with their parents.

Very pointed post there or at the very least highly insensitive as I’ve just mentioned my mother’s alcoholism. How ugly.

Your mums happy, you are happy. And you do have a bit of plan. Doesn't really matter what others think does it.

Some people just tend to be a bit nosy and curious.

It’s only shameful if you are not taking advantage of the opportunity. You have a chance to save. If you use it while being a considerate housemate, you are being a savvy adult. If you squander it or expect your mother to clean up after you, then you are a failure to launch.

I’m happy to have our daughter back home if she uses her time with us to maximize her financial stability.