To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

I had my mood massively lifted by a lovely man who held a heavy door open for me {My hands were full}, It was such a thoughtful thing for him to have done {it really is a beast of a door, inward opening and hard to pull}.

I did tell him he was a lovely man

I agree- small kindnesses really do a lot for people.

Today, another kind bloke told me I'd dropped something - again, really grateful as I'd have been massively inconvenienced by losing what I'd dropped {again, carrying too much in my arms}

@Thepeopleversuswork

I completely agree about animals. I am a huge (dare I say obsessive) cat lady, I can’t overstate how much pleasure I get from my cats and I firmly believe that pets help mental health massively.

But wanting to spend all your time with animals with far less intellectual capacity, who are essentially only motivated by fulfilling basic needs and who can’t communicate verbally in preference to your peers is a sign that something is not right.

Exactly. It's far from normal, and suggests some underlying issues. I think these people should seek some kind of therapy. I actually feel quite sorry for them with the way they are dismissing humans in favour of animals.

@OptimismvsRealism

Who the feck are you to instruct people on what is normal? Aggressive teamsters like yourself are the worst subtype.

Sounds like YOU are the one getting upset and angry mate, not me as you suggested earlier. Calm down..... Go grab a snickers, you're not you when you're hungry.

@oakleaffy

Why have an irritating partner like so many do when you can have a lovely cat or dog for company?!

Gorgeous dog you have there, but that is just such a sad and depressing sentence. Animals/pets are amazing, but no replacement for a human companion. Not long-term.

Why?
Having a few 'good' friends is better than wildly socialising- and living with an animal is easier , especially when one's DC are grown up.

But your children are the stinking rot OP is talking about . As her children are to you.

A previous poster suggested OP is depressed and I tend to agree with that. The levels of rage described in response to life’s minor vicissitudes are definitely not in the normal range.

The last think I would say is, as a more extroverted socially comfortable person, growing up in this acid is a really horrible experience. It isn’t really possible to give the message to children that all other people like them are worthless, and hope you can save them from internalising that you feel that way about them too.

I have a small dog, and she's an absolute delight.
Quiet, unobtrusive, gentle- Son is an adult now and has own house, so I live with my lovely dog {she's lying under my left arm at this moment}

Why have an irritating partner like so many do when you can have a lovely cat or dog for company?!

{Living with a partner is cheaper, for sure- shared bills} but pets are easier.

{I do get on with ex husband now}

I don’t think it’s technology but a combination of things including germ theory gone unchecked that has made people more socially atomized

This is quite a sad post. I feel sorry for people who struggle relating to others.

@SabreIsMyFave

I completely agree about animals. I am a huge (dare I say obsessive) cat lady, I can’t overstate how much pleasure I get from my cats and I firmly believe that pets help mental health massively.

But wanting to spend all your time with animals with far less intellectual capacity, who are essentially only motivated by fulfilling basic needs and who can’t communicate verbally in preference to your peers is a sign that something is not right.

Horses and dogs are precious, and loving and intelligent. (As are cats, and many other animals and birds etc...)

But I think it's worrying and sad that you prefer their company to humans. That's not normal. The company of animals and nature is wonderful. Exhilarating and intoxicating, and I get a huge dopamine hit from interaction with nature. But dismissing humans, and only wanting the company of animals is unhealthy and unnatural ...

@Thepeopleversuswork

As you eloquently put it, "social muscle" is something that has to be exercised.

There was a study somewhere which showed that human beings need to interact with each other in smalls ways on daily basis to facilitate good mental health. Just a hello to a shop assistant, or holding a door open for someone can make a difference to our dopamine levels. But these interactions are becoming less and less, online shopping, wfh, supermarket self checkout etc.

I like the micro interactions I have with people just being out and about. When you're smiling the whole world smiles with you is spot on.

I notice myself if as I am indoors more often during winter my tolerance for others goes down.

I see people in the gym all the time, let themselves go for a decade or two and now a long road to get back. It's very easy to slip into a long term mindset like this that it's easier just not to bother, but our minds and bodies were supposed to be put to use.

I think the nation would benefit from a mandatory 3x a week 30 minutes group exercise. Investing massively in leisure facilities and encouraging group sport more and more would massively improve the declining mental and physical health of the nation and save the NHS money.

Horses and dogs are precious, and loving and intelligent. (As are cats, and many other animals and birds etc...)

But I think it's worrying and sad that you prefer their company to humans. That's not normal. The company of animals and nature is wonderful. Exhilarating and intoxicating, and I get a huge dopamine hit from interaction with nature. But dismissing humans, and only wanting the company of animals is unhealthy and unnatural ...

Make an exception for my now adult children (and also David Attenborough, as I’m currently watching him and he is just divine) but dogs and horses are generally much better company and better for your mental health than humans.

no man is an island. It’s hard work but life is for living. That’s the only meaning unless you are a clever ass scientists who is saving lives by being shut away in a laboratory. Please do not shut yourself away. You might not know but your sourpuss ass can be saving someone just by showing up. Please show up! Please stay part of society and community. I might sound naive but there is already way too little love, respect and care going around. Please don’t make it even less.

Sorry, but After reading your (OPs) posts, I’m glad I won’t come across you. You sound like the kind of person I want to avoid. There’s a difference in wanting to stay away from people and basically slagging off 99% of the population that doesn’t fit your bill. You don’t sound like a very nice person

@Thepeopleversuswork

Its utterly bonkers and pretty frightening that a majority of people seem to agree with the OP.

This is Mumsnet. The place of the perpetually miffed and angry and anti social. In real life most people aren't like this... Thank God.

Imagine what a dreadful world we would live in, if everyone - in real life - had the same stinking attitude as the OP?!

Yeah you got me. I'm upset because I know I'm part of the problem. It's not you at all.

Whatever, you don't get to police what people say on here. This thread is not for YOU, and the equally grumpy anti social curmudgeons who agree with you, it's for anyone and everyone. And you won't silence me with your silly sarcastic and patronising jibes.

@TheTidyBear

We've had big is beautiful normalising people eating too much and becoming obese
Sadly now we've got this kind of agoraphobia is awesome backslapping on the internet normalising people staying in too much and becoming depressed

Yes it’s an interesting parallel, and spot on.

I really think it needs tackling at a societal level. A lot of focus has rightly gone into the impact of lockdowns on children but I think we ignore at our peril the devastating impact it’s had on adult mental health and people’s ability to cope with normal interactions and the insistence in their right to live a “people free” life.

Its utterly bonkers and pretty frightening that a majority of people seem to agree with the OP.

Yes

We've had big is beautiful normalising people eating too much and becoming obese

Sadly now we've got agoraphobia is awesome normalising people staying in too much and becoming depressed

Just come back from Playa de las Americas. It was so lovely to not be jostled. Lovely wide pavements but mostly empty. Even the supermarkets were a joy. Then back home to our town - people everywhere, pavements full, supermarkets packed. Hate it.

@beautifuldaytosavelives

Is it a post pandemic thing?

Partly yes, I think. There have always been misanthropes and oddballs and introverts. Lockdowns liberated a lot of people who struggled with social interaction to be themselves.

I can understand this up to a point. I think society has always favoured extroverts and I can understand why people who felt overlooked and ignored may have felt that it was their time.

But I think after the pandemic a lot of people never recalibrated and returned to any sense of normalcy. People felt they were “owed” the right to completely withdraw from society. It has been taken too far and gone on too long y acquired an unpleasantly toxic edge now.

People who never taught themselves to reenter society have now lost all their social “muscle” feel inadequate and isolated and try to turn it back onto wider society and insist it’s everyone else’s fault and being a misanthropic hermit (or “introvert” as it’s wrongly described) is the one true path.

Its slightly cultish and very depressing.

I like some people in modest doses, but I’m retired so I don’t have to be with anyone except mostly my DH and less often, my wider family. I am an introvert though, so I do need time alone (with or without my dogs and cats).

100% agree with you. The world doesn't seem to be a nice place anymore. I already avoid people as best I can ~ just need my dogs.

Personally I find people fascinating, particularly older women. They have such different lives, they are brave, funny and all have a story to tell. I agree there are some awful people in the world, but I am constantly amazed by the kindness shown on our town's Facebook page to people who reach out for whatever reason.

I can't imagine a life where I didn't interact with others.

This is me!!! I thought I was being a weirdo. I’m glad to know I’m not alone 😂