To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

I agree op. If someone wants to be nice to me one minute then ignore me the next? They can fuck off. If someone has no manners? They can fuck off too. I’m absolutely fed up with flaky, entitled people. I hold those dear to me close but I now have no time for dickheads.

Agree, people are getting more selfish, inconsiderate and grabby. I've just spent 3 weeks trying to give something away for free on FB (a newish shed so cannot take to charity shop) and you would not believe how many of the people who asked I've gone through, with not turning up, asking me to deliver, or coming and telling me how I listed it wrong, etc etc. Not one of them had a clue how to go about this transaction in a civil, honest and adult fashion. Fecking twats.

The OP clearly lacks the social awareness to realise this.

This …. 💯 % this!!

They're clearly not fascinating. They're very predictable and most of them are not interesting chat.

I can't work out whether you are just being deliberatey goady or whether you genuinely believe that you are a superior human being to the rest of us.

I thought first off it was very sad, that OP was going through a very difficult time. Then I wondered if it's just that OP is ND and is struggling with the world as it is. But no. I think there's a lot more unpleasantness in the way that OP is responding to people.

I agree @ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea

I don't disagree that there are a lot of shallow, inane, boring, self important people around. I just don't associate with them. I surround myself with kind, considerate, generous, respectful people. The difference is that I don't assume that everyone is the formaer until I get to know them.

Yes. Cats are much nicer.
Cats are fabulous, but so are some people.

People who never taught themselves to reenter society have now lost all their social “muscle” feel inadequate and isolated and try to turn it back onto wider society and insist it’s everyone else’s fault and being a misanthropic hermit (or “introvert” as it’s wrongly described) is the one true path. Its slightly cultish and very depressing.

I agree with this ^^

People on here who self identify as “introverts” often posit the idea that everyone else is out six nights a week getting shitfaced in bars, dancing on tables etc. No one is suggesting that: I’m certainly not. It’s more just being open to people as opposed to assuming they are all bastards, as the OP apparently does.

And this ^^
Most self identified introverts on this thread don't really understand what introvert and extrovert mean. DD and DH are introverted, but they aren't misanthropes. They like people and are quite comfortable engaging with strangers. They just need a lot of alone time to recharge. I'm more extroverted and don't need as much alone time to recharge. That is all.

What gave you the impression I was talking about myself? I wasn't. I was hazarding a guess as to the reasons "some posters" may feel that way.

I think we all either have or will get to a point in life where we’ve amassed enough friends, and jettisoned the people who might have been a drain on us in one way or another. I long for that day… I want to love my inner circle and outer circle, but I don’t want the “hi / bye” mates … I give a lot to people I care about and am starting to realise I’m in danger of spreading myself too thin in my giving nature as there are many who don’t come anywhere near to deserving / reciprocating.

OP - It has taken probably 30 years of my adult life to put myself first and stop engaging with self absorbed dickheads. Don't get me wrong, I come from a close family and have a few good friends - but I totally understand where you are coming from. Put your feelings first. As the saying goes 'Life Is not a rehearsal ' x

This is so relateable - I find myself daydreaming about remote places to live

This is so me !!!

Yes, just yes.

I only want to spend time with DH, our DDs, my lovely Auntie and a handful of good friends. I'm not remotely interested in anyone else. A friend from university has recently got in touch via FB and is very keen to meet up, but all I feel is annoyance (yes, I know that's bad).

I still use a paper calendar, and use a paper diary. I still send Christmas cards and write them with a beautiful fountain pen. I love my quiet past times of reading, needlepoint, reading, jigsaws and reading.

DH and I went away this weekend. Didn't speak to anyone else, in fact DH and I didn't chat all that much. But we wandered around hand in hand, ate some lovely food, read books and went to bed early.

It was bliss.

Not being nice on a post about how other people aren't nice, oh the irony! 😅

I feel like this sometimes and loved lockdown for that reason - no pressure to go anywhere or see anyone (apart from dh and 3 kids!). I go between wishing we could move to a remote Scottish island and then thinking I’m weird and a failure for not having a big group of long term female friends I see all the time. I have friends but only a handful of proper ones and they aren’t a group.

Totally agree. It's really, really bad for us. We have artificially massively extended the number of people 'know' online, which is more than we can deal with, while shrinking the number of friends and acquaintances and extended family members we actually see and properly interact with.

My job forces me to interact with the general public and I can confirm that only about 20% of humans are not complete wankers.

The more atomised society becomes the worse it becomes for us, the better for the state.

Guess I’ll have to take my chances. I see what you’re saying though.

@Michiru

While I think your post is sad and I hope you are wrong I have to give you credit for being open and honest about how you feel. It’s understandable that you feel like this, having been let down. I happen to think you are wrong but I appreciate your honesty.

The OP in contrast seems hell bent on just being gratuitously rude to people and trying to hide her feelings of obvious inadequacy behind a barrage of insults.

@OptimismvsRealism

I think you seem really unpleasant. Suspect I'm not the first to say so.

LOL. Says the poster who has spent 19 pages telling people she hasn’t met she doesn’t like them.

@pointswinprizes

If you were to withdraw completely into isolation, like a hermit, then yes, you would be sad and struggle but if you already have a support network then you don’t really need to keep meeting new people no matter how nice they may be.

But how do you choose the cut off point? I don’t want anyone in my life who I have met since university? I don’t want to meet anyone over the age of 50? If you met someone and really clicked with them would you refuse to be friends with them because you “have enough friends”?

This seems arbitrary and self defeating to me. I can understand wanting to be discerning in your friendship choices and not to feel you have to say yes to everything, but aren’t you needlessly limiting yourself like this?

Also friendships change. People move, get married and have children and become focused on their families. Some people will sadly die. Sometimes people just drift apart from friends. You have to be open to the idea of making new friends even if you may feel you have “enough”, you never know what is around the corner.

I kind of get it, OP, though I'm sure the thread will be deleted soon.

People in my life have been disappointing at best, cruel at worst. People I thought close to me - family, friends, partners - all turned out to be uninterested me (including a parent), abusive or backstabbing.

Perhaps it's the type of people you attract with the kind of upbringing I've had, but now being alone feels safer, because every time I've reached out I found another liar, cheat, abuser or a friend I've emotionally invested in who'd slowly reply less and less. In relationships I've often listened to partners bitching behind their friends' or family members' backs, in ways they'd never voice to them face to face, and I think, why be so false? And it hurts to know that so many will have done the same behind my back, without ever being honest and actually telling me what they think.

So my trust in other people is gone, and with it my willingness to spend more time with them than necessary. I already know how it plays out.

Nope. People generally like me. One of my bosses once said it would be a cold day in hell before anyone didn't get on with me. Reading through this thread however more than one poster has mentioned how unpleasant you are.

Yes please 🙋‍♀️

You never have more than a few true friends, close friends, whatever you want to call them, even if you have a wide social circle. I dunno why the people on this thread are screaming blue murder about not being a bestie with everyone you meet.