To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

Absolutely spot on

Sounds like you’re tilting at windmills tbh. I don’t think I’ve actually seen any of that on this thread (OP aside). More low key grumbling than anything else.

But I have also got fed up with the introvert trope though more because of all “I think DEEP THOUGHTS” / “I talk for hours to people I deign to talk to” stuff. It does make you sound a bit up yourself. And yes, I am a bit like that, but at least I’m not pretending it makes me special or clever.

You’re also meant to be artistic, and I’m not, so maybe I’m not an introvert after all 😂

I don't understand this attitude at all. I am actually an introvert, but I still love people and think that MOST people are nice. I have lovely friends and mostly great work colleagues. Some people can be grumpy but not all the time. I always tell myself that everyone is a human being, even the demanding senior types or rude people and if you treat them as such, show interest etc then they respond in a much better way. Of course there is the odd utter cunt out there, but I think they are in the minority. I do wonder about people that find EVERYONE is rude and unpleasant to them - are they are indeed the common denominator?

@OptimismvsRealism I don't fully agree but your post did make me laugh.

Totally agree

I’m totally with you on this (such a a relief to know so many other people feel this way!) but I’m aware that for me it’s largely because of OCD and sensory overload. And other people just being dicks obviously! Have you heard of sensory rage? Google it if you haven’t and I think it may sound familiar. I do wonder if a lot of people who feel like us are neurodivergent - I have Tourette’s and have always felt like the world is kind of exhausting and makes no sense to me. Premature menopause 15 years ago has not helped! I love the IDEA of socialising but in reality I just can’t handle it. To the people saying you’re not making sense, I read a quote a while ago in an article about depression (but it can apply to other MH conditions) that sums it up nicely: “I want to be alone but I don’t want to be lonely”.

Well maybe recommends is the wrong word but the end result is the same. Seems a deeply miserable life.

I am just baffled by the idea that a philosophy that recommends not wanting to live after 70 if your husband is dead is worth emulating.

I am fond of Dh and we have been married yonks, but by god, I will continue to live if he goes ahead of me. I intend to live a long time and enjoy every bit of it.

@pointswinprizes

I am certain the OP is trolling but I am rising to it because I hate the way people fall into line with this aggressive misanthropy. One playground bully says: “Of you go, be a bitch to people on the internet, its fun and really edgy, and you can say ‘I’m an introvert see!’” and hundreds of misfits and lonely people who don’t like themselves very much turn up and go “Can I join your club?”

Self-righteous belligerence from the likes of you does not convince me otherwise though I do realise you are just saying what you think.

I am self righteous about this for sure because I care about it and probably a bit belligerent so I will take that.

But I didn’t start this fight.

and I’m half convinced she’s trolling anyway

"Carefully curated and beloved relationships" has convinced me of this.

And I have never claimed to be “nice”.
No, me neither

also think if you approach this from the starting point that you are shouting from the rooftops that most people are assholes and your life mission is to avoid them you’re not in a great place to be demanding tolerance. Why should the internet equivalent of shouting at strangers in a pub invite tolerance?

I don’t think that’s what most people on this thread are saying though. I may be wrong but I think it’s just the OP and I’m half convinced she’s trolling anyway .

I mean I actually don’t think people are lovely and kind as a rule. I think they pounce on you the minuate you show weakness which you may think is sad or YMMV or whatever but that’s my experience. Self-righteous belligerence from the likes of you does not convince me otherwise though I do realise you are just saying what you think.

100% agreed. It's far too peopley out there.

@pointswinprizes

As I said before you’re not really coming across as all that that tolerant and nice. Your name calling as much as the OP 🤷‍♀️

Probably fair. Look: I feel really passionately about this.

I’m not name calling individuals though, except the OP who has been personally unpleasant to six or seven posters on here and I am not going to apologise for that. She gives as good as she gets.

In general I’m calling out a social phenomenon which I see as very negative and harmful.

I also think if you approach this from the starting point that you are shouting from the rooftops that most people are assholes and your life mission is to avoid them you’re not in a great place to be demanding tolerance. Why should the internet equivalent of shouting at strangers in a pub invite tolerance?

And I have never claimed to be “nice”.

Its self indulgent and petulant and pathetic. And a sign of a decadent and unhealthy society.

As I said before you’re not really coming across as all that that tolerant and nice. Your name calling as much as the OP 🤷‍♀️

Nah.

@TheTidyBear

it's not good for you try and just be comfortable all the time because all you do is set a lower bar in tolerance levels for yourself

This is spot on and the analogy with exercise is very interesting. You need a bit of tension and challenge to stay fit and the push yourself manageably past your comfort zone. The longer you stay outside that challenge zone the harder it is to get back into it.

That principle applies with a lot of elements of life: work, study, dating, socialising. After a while it becomes so daunting to tackle it again that you just can’t face it so you hunker down into the familiar. And you stop trying and the bar comes down so low it’s pretty much on the ground.

But if you behave like this you are just condemning your brain and body to atrophy. Western life unfortunately encourages this sort of lifestyle and COVID turbo charged it with this “militant introvert manifesto”.

Its self indulgent and petulant and pathetic. And a sign of a decadent and unhealthy society.

It's all very much interlinked, mental, physical, social, and spiritual health. I don't think some people realise it's not good for you try and just be comfortable all the time because all you do is set a lower bar in tolerance levels for yourself. Next this person will be gorging in junk food and watching TV all day because that's the next level down in tolerance for things. No point in doing anything strenuous because there will be a long list of reasons why getting of the sofa is pointless, just like the reasons they are making as to why people are pointless.

@OptimismvsRealism

I don't have any despite to spend time with people who get on my tits (which is most people)

I think you mean “desire” not “despite”? Again that’s totally fine and that’s very much your right. I don’t want to do that either?

But can you not see there’s a big difference between privately wanting not to hang out with people who annoy you (which everyone does) and publicly splashing your bile for almost every other member of the human race (apart from your select tribe) all over the internet?

If ‘most people’, get on your tits, it’s far more likely to be an issue with you. As pps have pointed out.

No one’s denying assholes exist and antisocial behaviour exists, but if ‘most people’ you encounter annoy you so much, it probably isn’t the other people.

Yes. I do wonder if it’s something that is particularly inflated as a trend on Mn because of the type of people who post on here. Presumably the reason I don’t encounter them in the world is because they’re festering at home, pausing only to glower out the window at the world they so much dislike.

I know. It’s just post hoc justification from people who can’t deal with basic social interaction. It’s a huge social problem.

I know what you mean.
I'm not naturally sociable, though I can put up a good show at a short party or whatever. Realistically I'm a bit odd, a little awkward, an acquired taste. I've always been like this - though I do have some very long-term acquaintances I think it's fair to say that I no longer really have any close friends. I'm married and very close friends with my husband who is pretty similar to me. Sometimes I wonder how it will be when I, inevitably, live alone. I suspect that I'll be fine.