To want to just avoid people as much as I can until I die now

@OptimismvsRealism

You don't seem socially gifted you seem like a big blunderbuss.

I’m not particularly socially gifted, nor have I claimed to be.

But by definition I am more socially inclined than someone who claims to want never to see another person until they die. You don’t have to be a sparkling wit, just to not be an arsehole to people. It’s pretty basic.

I don't hate most people on an individual level but I really struggle with crowds and noise

You sound like my DH.

That's well done! .I am sure I have read about birth rates declining but perhaps that's tangential to the main point of the thread.
I think its ok to not like crowds and large gatherings. I dont like weddings myself. But its not because I think everyonw at them sucks.

On so many of these types of threads people who dislike being in other people's company really do come across as being superior because they don't need other people. They think those who enjoy human interaction are needy. They are puzzled that some of us don't wish to put a cap on the number of friends we have.

I actually wish I wasn't so intolerant because it would make my life easier. I don't hate most people on an individual level but I really struggle with crowds and noise. I've let my social circle dwindle as I've gotten older and I know I need to make more of an effort.

Humans are supposed to be social but as a PP says we haven't evolved to live in such a large society.

I've made threads myself about being antisocial but the irony of doing so on a forum full of people was not lost on me 😂

I actually did. I don't have children and this was part of the reason.

And birth rates are declining across the world anyway.

That is incorrect @Lentilweaver

The global population reached nearly 8.2 billion by mid-2024 and is expected to grow by another two billion over the next 60 years, peaking at around 10.3 billion in the mid-2080s.

From the United Nations website.

You might like to read this thread, which is similar to many on mumsnet:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5205361-just-curious-whats-the-common-age-for-4th-baby?page=2&reply=139700093

Or all the threads which start with I want a third/fourth/fifth/+ baby

If you find dealing with your windowcleaner or your waiter or your milkman or your GP or people in your gym so tedious, clean your own damn windows, get your own milk, self-medicate yourself, work out at home. No one is stopping you from going all Ted Kaczynski. No one at all.

I don't hate everyone as the OP does - and a few others seem to too! 😬 But this post does resonate for me quite a bit. There are too many people on the planet, and we are wrecking the planet. It's so sad.

I live away from it all though thankfully... In a beautiful little rural village 2.5 miles from the nearest A road, proper tucked away in the fields, and nobody comes here unless they live here. It doesn't go anywhere except to farms. Only two roads out. One north west and one south east. Can be problematic if there is deep snow or someone hits the canal bridge and knocks the debris all over the road. Or there are roadworks. (Potholes being fixed, or some kind of work being done like the waterboard, or new internet...) But problems getting in and out are rare.

But yeah, we have had house builders trying to buy land bordering the village to build multiple 100s of shitty generic little starter homes, but it's been vetoed every time. There's some caveat in the Village Scriptures or something from 200+ years ago, that said 'limited building of new properties in this village.' Only 75 are allowed to be built in any 100 year period. (And no more than 25 in any given 25 year period.) A really old bye-law.

Consequently, only 75 properties have been built in a century. 20 or so around 1910-1913, then another 20 or so in 1937 to 1938, then another 20-22 in the late 1960s, and about 13 in 2000 and 2001. Nothing since.

I think they've given up bothering (the housebuilders) because they are hugely limited - and also, there is nothing here. (Apart from a Church, one pub, and a Parish Hall where half a dozen hobby groups meet and they have coffee mornings, and the like....). No public transport or shops, and a tiny primary school with 35 pupils. So they may find multiples 100s of generic newbuild starter homes hard to sell. (The closest little market town is 4 miles away.)

20 years ago, there were several shops here and a daily bus service, but it all shut down around around 2005 to 2009. (Making no money.) We love it though. As long as you've got a car you're fine. The little market town is only 7-8 minutes drive away. (And you can cycle it in about 20 minutes.)

Wouldn't suit everyone, but it's so quiet and peaceful. Woodlands at the back, canal at the side, and the river down the hill about a mile away to the front. Utter Heaven. 😍

.

What I can’t bear is the weaponisation of the resentment of the more socially gifted people to turn them into the enemy which is based on envy and resentment.

I agree. This happens on every introvert vs extrovert thread.

It's fine not to need other people in your life (I am married to such a person). However, it is not fine and is unhealthy to hate everyone. To find everyone, boring, horrible and stinky says more about the OP than the people she is writing about.

On so many of these types of threads people who dislike being in other people's company really do come across as being superior because they don't need other people. They think those who enjoy human interaction are needy. They are puzzled that some of us don't wish to put a cap on the number of friends we have.

I am choosy about the company I keep and am lucky to have some lovely workmates (workmates, not colleagues), neighbours that I have become friends with, other friends and friends from my hobby groups.

We don't live near family so we do invest more time in cultivating good friends.

Feeling introverted, introspective and shy I can totally understand. Trying to poison the well of social discourse with a narrative about how people are essentially a negative force and something to avoid, that doesn’t come from a positive place.

You have articulated this far better than I might have done @Thepeopleversuswork

@Lavenderfarmcottage

These are comments about society and socialising and feeling despondent. It’s not about you or a personal attack yet you’ve attacked back.

I consider someone saying they want to avoid people until they die as an attack.

An attack on people who try to do things to enhance the lives of others and themselves. An attack on the idea of society. I think it’s profoundly unhealthy and problematic.

Feeling introverted, introspective and shy I can totally understand. Trying to poison the well of social discourse with a narrative about how people are essentially a negative force and something to avoid, that doesn’t come from a positive place.

Even if we managed to wfh, do all shopping online and never ever attend any events, you still get sick and must meet drs, others in the waiting room, get your eyes checked, see the dentist, take your pet to the vets, take your children and/or parents to many appointments, walk your dogs, pay the milkman, see the window cleaner and more.

Yes, it's terrible isn't it, having to interact with all these people who help you run your life, often for minimum wage. The temerity of waiters talking to the OP when she goes to restaurants! How very dare they. Or the bus driver catching her eye when she gets on the bus. He sucks! Or an overworked and underpaid GP with the audacity to have a full waiting room ( Personally, I would cut my arm off to get an in person appointment with my GP).

I am menopausal too. So fucking what.

Tbf OP did say most people are boring and horrible.

I'm generally very introverted and intolerant so I get it but OP has been quite rude to and about people.

I'm exactly the same. I was a "women are too much drama" type of person but really I just liked the sexual attention of my many male friends.

Now I'm older (and have a daughter) I realise how awful so many men are and how the majority of them see us as second class citizens and sex objects. We need to stand together.

Well good for you liking meeting people, are we preventing you somehow?

I dont think enough of us have commented on this thread for you to extrapolate that people are becoming more and more introverted, I've always been introverted.

Most of us cannot in fact hide away, we have jobs, the shopping to do, the limited but necessary events to attend, even sometimes see the neighbours.

Even if we managed to wfh, do all shopping online and never ever attend any events, you still get sick and must meet drs, others in the waiting room, get your eyes checked, see the dentist, take your pet to the vets, take your children and/or parents to many appointments, walk your dogs, pay the milkman, see the window cleaner and more.

I dont mind negative interactions, but people get mighty pissed off when I say what I really think. And menopause makes it way easier to say what I think.

I dont have any opinion on other people, I'm just perfectly happy with my own company. I dont need extraneous people, I'm perfectly fine as I am. I'm not depressed or anxious, I just prefer my own company.
If i suddenly decided i needed someone with me right now, I'd go to the pub for today, if I decided I needed people longer term, I'd find a club to join. It's not like I decide now to be a loner and forever more I must be a loner. I can (but wont) change my mind.

I agree there are too many of us. But n one ever applies that to themselves, do they? I myself have 2 DC. What gives me the right to say other people shouldnt?
And birth rates are declining across the world anyway.

I’m becoming increasingly misanthropic as I age. But I don’t think it’s because I hate people (though I do dislike the majority of them). It’s more that I hate the way we’ve swarmed all over the planet.

This is how I feel. Thanks for posting this. There is too many of us.

This is the community, the title of the thread should act as a deterrent for positive social butterflies.

Nobody is saying they hate people, just that people are hard.

Anyone not feeling down about social occasions or busy places is labelled a loser - I mean you’re really just supporting the evidence that the world can be a harsh place. Can’t even share views without being attacked.

These are comments about society and socialising and feeling despondent. It’s not about you or a personal attack yet you’ve attacked back.

This “hate people” posturing has become very tiresome and old hat. You have had your post COVID moment in the sun: can we all stop talking about it now? It’s not big or clever.

What do you actually do to enhance your life or the life of people around you? Do you do anything of value to society or do you just sit around telling strangers on the internet how much you hate people because you think it makes you sound edgy?

You all epitomise the maxim that if everyone seems like the arsehole it’s almost certainly you that’s the arsehole. Sorry but it’s true.

There have been misfits and oddballs for years and that’s absolutely fine. I am fine with that. What I can’t bear is the weaponisation of the resentment of the more socially gifted people to turn them into the enemy which is based on envy and resentment.

And it’s so boring. No one is interested in the fact you “hate people”. You are not significant enough for anyone to care and your perspective is an unbelievable cliche.

And no one buys it either, we can see through it. If you really hated people you wouldn’t spend hours on the internet showing off to other misanthropic losers.

Can you all just start a community somewhere for people haters and let the rest of us crack on with our lives?

I've definitely come to appreciate other women as I've got older. In my 20s I was a bit of a cool girl/ liked being friends with blokes etc. that has massively changed now. I'm mid 40s, treasure my female friendships and think that men as a collective are the root cause of all the world's problems. I still love and respect some men as individuals but as a collective, they're awful.

I agree with this, when you have a positive purpose like charity or an organisation you see good in people.

I don’t think this thread is about saying all humans are awful.

I think and my guess is that on the whole, in terms of certain communities or work environments there’s not a lot of warmth. I think we are an increasingly lonely, superficial and selfish society. People don’t feel that obligated to be kind for the sake of being kind or be open minded and accepting.

I feel like people are kind to me when I tick all the boxes - I present as a happy, middle class Mum that is smiling and thriving. I don’t feel like I get the same acceptance or welcome when things aren’t going well.

I agree. OP sounds exactly like the sort of person I would not want in my life, and I'm not surprised other people aren't clamouring to belong to their sorry little club. I generally find that if you are nice to others they will be nice to you. Many on this thread sound unpleasant/miserable, it's no wonder they find other people reacting the same back at them.

I do believe there are lots of benefits from detaching from 24/7 news, and Insta, and FB and ads and smartphones. I find it relatively easy to do though, I have a paper diary, and I never have notifications on or the ringtone. Messages are there when I want to check them and I look at missed calls and call people back.

I think there's too many people and too much stuff, but it's not as hard to avoid some of this as you think. If you have to take public transport to work though, I am kind of sympathetic to hating everyone, as it seems to me all the worst aspects of humans (up close with strangers) without the benefits (feeling collective, interacting in a positive way).

Great times! If we could only reverse the clock.

Excellent word!!

misanthropic.