...to think that women should be able to warn other women....

No they're not. No woman is being blamed for his death in the inquest or in the press.

Where did you get that from?

I believe it is, and let's be honest, it's happening in the wider world, not just inside our universities. The coroner was correct in raising these concerns and highlighting the bullying and how he was ostracised, which contributed to his decision to take his own life.

Yes.

But what likely happened in the case that PP spoke of is that the Police didn't say 'do you want to press charges?' but said something along the lines of "we think a criminal offence occurred here, would you like to make a statement in this case to support a conviction and would be willing to testify to that in court?".

Most people interpret that as 'do you want to press charges?' because that's a very common in-use term even if not accurate legally. But the above conversation is usually what they're referring to.

(Same as thousands of people in the UK, including many on MN think there is a charge called 'statutory rape' i.e an older person having sex with a child under the age of consent when there is no such offence in UK law but it's common terminology and assumption)

And if the alleged victim says no so saying without saying it "I wouldn't like to make a statement in this case, support a conviction and testify to it on court" then the Police decide if it's serious enough and in the public interest to proceed to an investigation without a victim statement and then decide if there is enough evidence to present to the CPS.

They might do or they might not depending on what evidence they have.

Then the CPS decides to proceed to charge or not. And part of that decision is whether there is a realistic prospect of prosecution.

Without a victim or witness willing to make a statement to the offence and appear in court, the CPS can conclude that if the alleged perpetrator does not plead guilty, or pleads guilty but challenges some of the evidence, it goes to court and the defence team could potentially rip the case apart very quickly, depending on the other evidence available.

So yes, the Police can proceed with an investigation without a victim supporting it but there are many factors involved that contribute to whether that file is passed to the CPS or not and whether the CPS would proceed with a charge.

Because women are being blamed for his death. The subtext here is that nasty, mean women cancelled him and that led to his suicide. It’s trying to silence women.

We are allowed to tell someone that they’re behaviour upsets us.

His decision was his alone and a very extreme reaction to being ostracised by a few friends for a few days

What about in the case of a private prosecution?

I appreciate that, the "pressing charges" thing is a common misconception.

Yes, but it's not the same thing. The fact stands that there is no such thing as a victim being able to decide to "press charges" in the UK.

Even if a victim is willing to testify and wants their abuser to be charged, the decision to do so rests with the CPS (and initially the police, who decide whether to even pass the case to the CPS).

Apologies for the terminology. Basically he was the innocent party it was all false allegations. I’ve kept details vague!

That's true but if the victim is unwilling to co-operate in court, depending on the type of case, it might stand so little chance of success as to be not worth pursuing.

"Pressing charges" isn't a concept that exists in the UK legal system. Either the police think there is a case to pass to the CPS (which would be their decision, not the complainant's), or they don't. You can't choose whether to "press charges" or not.

I have changed a few details.

A close family member attended Oxford and was interviewed by the police due to allegations made by his ex girlfriend (of a different faith). It appears that she had made up the story once she started dating a new boy (of the same faith).

Luckily my family member’s friends all supported him while the investigation was ongoing. There was no case and once all of the evidence was seen by the police (phones both checked for past messages, interviews etc) the police actually said that in fact family member was the victim and could actually press charges.

Family member went through a harrowing time though, awful. I can’t imagine what would have happened if he’d also been cancelled and accused when he was innocent.

This is a tragic story and I just wanted to give an example from the accused pov.

The right wing press are just despicable aren't they? Shame on every "journalist" lying about this case.

Oh, sorry, did I just cancel culture? Who fucking knows anymore.

It's sad that he died but of course women should warn others of unwanted sexual behaviour or any other abuse.

What a horrible place to study.

Do you have a link to the insta shunning example? Very worrying.

Not referring to this case specifically but as an example:

I wonder how many women have taken their own lives in the last 12 months as a result of a sexual assault, that very often leaves them ostracised and traumatised. Interesting we see such little/no reporting of that yet this thread and some of the comments (by what’s likely to be a lot of women) is eye-opening. Including:

• she should STFU
• If that happened to me I wouldn’t broadcast it (ie. it’s not real)
• unless something is proven in a court of law no-one reasonably form an opinion

I don't think they are.

What they're told I think, as I was when I was a whistle-blower, was not to communicate with the person being investigated and suspended because it could prejudice the investigation. And not to speak to anyone outside of thise dealing with the investigation because again, it could prejudice the investigation.

Which is shit for them if the person accused is innocent and cut off from their colleagues or support network but at least they know there'll be an investigation and an end to it whether in their favour or not. And they are or should be, given support by managers and signposted to unions, legal help or other support services.

And when I was involved, it didn't seem at all to prevent the gossip and lies and people acting weird towards me even though no-one was supposed to know I was a whistle-blower .

And that was an official investigation where things had been formally reported.

I got a lot of fantastic advice on MN at the time and some, not so much lol.

That isn't the same as someone not being formally accused of something but being ostracised because of rumours or unreported allegations.

this doesn’t quite explain why male friends of a male accused of assault are also justified in totally and permanently ostracising their friend

It is because in recent years, especially following on from “Everyone is Invited”, people have been trying to teach boys to stand against the idea of Bros before ‘ho’s.

Boys are on the one hand getting Andrew Tate teaching of how to rule those sluts and/or porn instruction on how they should bugger and strangle, and on the other, being taught that decent men do not aid and abet any form of no consent: good men do not stand by and say nothing.
It is a very difficult line to balance no doubt.

It seems likely too, as another poster suggested, that the young man who took his life was generally troubled and under pressure already, but this is certainly tragic.

I think the coroner was amiss in using the phrase ‘cancel culture’. This was a messy, tragic and complicated situation and the coroner has oversimplified it by latching on to a phrase that is very ‘current’. By doing so, they’ve turned this young man’s suicide into a media circus. And lain blame at the feet of the girl who had something ‘unforgiveable’ done to her and 3 other young men.

What happens when ‘cancel culture’ cancels them?

I also wouldn't minimise the more minor sexual crimes. Wayne Couzens' penchant for indecent exposure was considered 'minor'. Even commiting a more minor crime says a lot about someone's values and who they really are underneath.

Even if I was a man, would I want to have a friend that I couldn't introudce to my female friends or relatives in case he assaulted them? Imaging having a party, inviting your sex offender friend, and having to warn the female attendees to keep their distance?

If that mistake was rape or beating up their wife? I would, and wouldn't feel the slightest bit of regret. If the mistake was more minor - it would depend what/when/how the thing happened.

People very rarely act "out of character". An action might reflect a part of their character that you didn't previously know about, but what someone does is a reflection of who they are as a person. Being drunk would not be an excuse in my view - in vino veritas.

I am not perfect, and I have made mistakes in my life. But those mistakes have never included sexual assault.