Drunk teenager- punishment or not?

I agree, I would ask her for money as it's not her fault neither parent drives and they live somewhere with limited transport.

Punishing someone for making a mistake never ends well.

@Maty34

Why quote the whole post. Drives me mad!!

I think a bit of a chat about how to avoid it happening again (not just the drinking but the missing her stop - could she have set an alarm on her phone?) and then, as others have suggested, how is she going to sort out the £60 taxi fare. I wouldn't make her pay it out of her first pay cheque as that is ages away (even if she gets the job) but some extra jobs around the house, either daily for the next week or so or a one off bigger task.
First though, a fry up, a hug and sympathy for the fact that she must be feeling lousy and was probably scared and embarassed last night. We've all made mistakes.

"even though I offered to pay anything."

Could you not book on the app and there would have been a standard price?

Having said that we went away and there were 2 taxi drivers husband and wife (we didn't realise this).

We phoned on two different occasions and they each answered and said they were eating their tea!!

Have got 3 grown up children, maybe I would of been more with your DH at the time but now would definitely say no, it’s a one off, she called you when, she’s not going to be perfect all the time. She called you when she was in trouble which is good, If it’s left you in financial straits then spend £60 less on her Christmas presents

I feel a bit sorry for her to be honest. If you lived in a village with more regular train/bus services or you could drive then she would never have been in this situation. It’s really harsh to punish her for this. I’d let her off on this occasion, she can’t pay you back if she doesn’t have a job yet anyway.

Punished? She’s 18. A young adult. I find it concerning her dad thinks punishing is even an option.

All young people get shitfaced. It’s how we learn to stop doing it.

I'd definitely make her pay the £60 and have a chat with her about safety and getting home. But she's 18 and we've all done daft stuff at that age! I think punishment is over the top. Hopefully she's learned a tough lesson 😏

Everything that @titchy said

Plus you want her to trust that if she needs help another time you will be there for her without judgment.

That's not the same as natural consequences - hangover, thank the pub staff etc. but she needs to know she can turn to you. The consequences of not doing that could be much worse

As a parent of a DS of the same age, my worry with punishing her would be that next time she doesn't call you and gets on a car with a drunk driver.
I do sympathise though, as I had to do a two hour roundtrip to pick up my DS last week, thanks to bloody Transpennine Express cancelling the last train!

Oh if only it was that easy.

I'm sorry, but I agree with this.

When DH and I feel that we no longer want to run a car we will move to somewhere with better public transport.

I think she finds a way to pay back the £60 and apologise to anyone who 'looked after her'.

All of this ^

I wouldn't punish.

I would have a frank talk about how dangerous it was and how she needs to have a plan B to get home and a way to avoid similar problems in the future.

We don't drive - though don't live rurally - and how they plan to get home and what they do if they goes wrong- is always considered. Usually plan b is card+ note and taxi app but if she was so drunk not to be allowed on bus back they may not have wanted to take her. if we had to go fetch them - then there would be a talk as above.

I think she should go to the pub in person and thank them for helping her. She might be embarrassed but so what. Its a good lesson in responsibility. Chores to pay back some money but no not punishment. We've all been there.

So every time she is irresponsible they have to cough up a £60 taxi fee when she could have stayed sober enough to get off the bus at the right stop?

No, that's not the way I'd parent.

I MIGHT let it go the first time, but any child of mine would be under no delusions that if they do that again they will have to fund the taxi.

I would laugh at her hangover, say “lesson learned ?” and move on.

This is what my mum did the first time I had too much to drink, and what I did the first time DD had too much to drink.

Don’t punish her. We all make mistakes. The experience in itself will be a lesson to her.

This ^^

@Stressedgiraffe we are rural with hourly buses and trains and only one every two hours in the evening. What I have done is saved a load of local taxi company numbers from the local Facebook groups and put them all on a spreadsheet. Is this an option for you?

I also agree that you are going to have to budget for the occasional taxi fare.

She’s 18. Realistic parenting is required. I would give her some grace.

She knows where she lives and what her situation is. It is absolutely her responsibility to get herself home using the available transport.

Her parents should not have to fund her drunken irresponsibility.

She's an adult she needs to fund the taxi.

Do not make her pay for the taxi! It is in no way her fault that neither or her parents drive and decided to live in a rural location. That’s bizarre.

@Stressedgiraffe I am actually shocked that the city's taxi licensing committee allow their taxis to charge literally double the fare!! in my village everyone drives. when my kids were younger I would actually go and collect them from the nightclubs. they preferred this to waiting about in the freezing cold risking involvment in trouble. my children both drove at 17 and my daughter passed her test at 17 and three weeks old. once they passed their tests they were allowed to take my car and be designated driver till their friends learned.