Drunk teenager- punishment or not?

FFS do not follow this! Love how some people are high and mighty.

DD got hammered at a party, we took the piss chatted about being responsible and she hasn't done it again. Punishment was her not being able to see her friend the next day which she had really been looking forward to as she felt so ill!!

It's disappointing but these things happen. Hopefully there's a lesson learnt and then move on

Yes. It's not her fault she lives in the middle of nowhere and her parents don't drive. I've always told mine that I'd be there for them, day or night, if they ever needed me. It's quote normal.while kids are still learning how to he adults for a few mishaps to happen along the way.

I know bus drivers are reluctant to let drunks on their buses, but surely an 18 year old on their own is vulnerable to all sorts, and not your typical drunk. That is shocking!

Once when I was 19, I hadn't eaten much in the day and then went out drinking in the evening with friends. It was the first time alcohol had ever affected me like that and I was very ill. My parents decided to 'punish' this (they had also punished/shamed things like getting my period, suspecting me of sleeping with my boyfriend at 18, and being sexually assaulted).

All I can say is I will react in the polar opposite way toward my own children. A talk about safety and limits, yes, and perhaps earning back the taxi fare, but not punishment.

Don't punish her, at some point most people have done this.

My two have done similar, I'm always super super nice and caring the next day which makes them feel worse

This is a very good point. I’d definitely rather my kids came to me if they were in a jam than felt I was going to rip into them for being (ultimately!) a bit daft. She really ought to pay you back for the taxi fare tho, that’s a lot of money.

She's 18. You can't punish and adult. She'll.be feeling like shit today. That's a natural consequence.

It's a life lesson and she needs your guidance not punishing.

My 18 yo got drunk for the first time a couple of months ago. She'd been out before but just judged it wrong. I made sure she was OK, looked after her and we talked about how she might do things differently in future, which she took on board.

I'm not really sure what 'punishment' I could have given her tbh. It didn't even cross my mind.

By the way it's fine to choose not to drive and some people can't for medical reasons but i would choose to live in a city or town with good public transport in that case

Well in that case of course it's an issue, but normal day to day is what I meant.

This.

Why does nobody in this household drive?

Our DS got drunk at home on his 17th party - he and mates in the front room, we were in the back. Unbeknown to us they were egging him on with vodka drinking games and were very apologetic when they realised how bad he was. We paid out no money - but had to clean up a vomit sprayed downstairs toilet and sit up in his bedroom half the night.

We got a sincere apology and several car washes. Lesson learned.

To be honest living so rurally but not driving is the issue here, most of us have had to rescue our kids as teens at some point, I lost count how many midnight pick ups I did because the people they were with changed plans and they weren't comfortable, drugs came out (mine are very anti drugs) or they drank a bit too much though they did take the bus mostly I admit.

If you drove then it was annoying but not expensive, as it was it was ridiculously expensive for you and yes chores to make up for it is appropriate if she doesn't offer herself.

I think you do need plan b and c if she is to be able to have a life

I think her hangover will be punishment enough.

We don’t drive, but we’d never choose to live far out of town

She is an adult. She has a hangover and feels shit. I would encourage her to apologise to the people and give £60 for the taxi.

I agree with PP that choosing to living in the middle of nowhere wasn’t a great choice.

Plenty of people simply can't afford to run a car, have a medical condition that precludes it, or tried and failed to pass their test several times.

I think it’s a problem even in a town - people expecting ambulances for emergencies that aren’t life threatening when the rest of us would have put the person in a car and taken them to A&E, but they don’t drive so expect the free ambulance taxi.

I wouldn't punish her but she would need to pay back the taxi money and an apology and thanks to the people at the pub would be nice of her.

I would also have a conversation with her about the effects of alcohol, binge drinking, and make sure she knows how drinking can damage the brain, liver, kidneys etc. not in a lecturing way but more in a making sure she knows this stuff way. She needs to work out what her alcohol intake limits are and how to judge how that relates to standard glasses of wine, beer, or cocktails, especially if she doesn't weigh much. She also needs to think about how being drunk and on her own puts her at risk of falling into traffic, or over something and twisting an ankle or breaking a bone, as well as getting unwanted attention from passing louts.

I wouldn’t ’punish’ a grown adult, no. But I would make her pay you back for the taxi. Hopefully she’s learned her lesson

So the next time she's unable get home she won't dare call you and something awful could happen to her.

It's only not a problem when you live somewhere with perfect public transport I live rural if I didn't drive I couldn't live here , when eldest was 17 got her on the road and next one is currently learning .

She needs to pay for the taxi when she gets a job. Other than that what can you do? In future she probably needs to be able to make sure she has enough money for a taxi home after a night out rather than the bus or stay at a friends. An 18 year old drunk woman alone on a rural bus is very vulnerable so she needs a better plan IMO.

This - no punishment as such is needed, but she needs to reimburse the taxi fare.

I wouldn’t inflict a “punishment” but she needs to make up the £60 either in cash or kind.

I’m also thinking it’s tough having parents who don’t drive and living somewhere with such an irregular bus service (I know it’s common I’m just saying she didn’t choose to live where you do). At that age , I could drive the family car, plus my parents drive me around, or I could get one of the plentiful buses or if a taxi was the only option it was £5. Your daughter has limited options.

My partners DS did something similar about 3 years ago he was 17. I think the hangover and the shame is the punishment. He didn't do it again.