To think that people should be a bit more sensitive when announcing pregnancy

YANBU, if you're aware of someone close to you having experienced a loss it really doesn't take much effort to take that into account when deciding how to tell them.

And if you're in any doubt multiple baby loss charities provide advice on exactly this. I appreciate everyone reacts differently but the general consensus is that a message allows someone to process the news privately and in their own time before having to respond. Also, letting them know before announcing it on social media avoids them being taken by surprise.

Pregnancy announcements hurt after the loss of a baby and are unavoidable but if you are a close friend or family member a bit of sensitivity and consideration goes a long way.

Does your friend know that you are struggling, OP, and still upset about your own miscarriage ?

Unfortunately I think people who have had no issues getting or staying pregnant tend not to consider that it might be a sensitive issue.

Once it has happened to you, you are much more conscious that it may be a difficult topic.

In this case she really should have thought, seeing as she knew about your miscarriage. I guess she forgot 😕

You don't have to answer, but the fact that you don't mind, is it based on you never having had issues with pregnancy?
Or have you had issues with pregnancy and you still don't mind?

They can’t. But when it’s a close friend you should be able to follow that.

Im a little selfish at times but when I fell pregnant for the third time I made sure my friend who was ttc, gone through at least 3 miscarriages knew via messenger.

I’m sure I upset someone along the line because it’s an emotive subject. But I never did it knowingly.

Of course it's important. It's a huge life changing event.

By not video calling!

If you know your friend has had a loss maybe just don't text or call them? You can tell everyone else. You have 9 months to let them know. It's called being a good thoughtful friend. Thinking about others. What's confusing?

Probably, in her excitement, she hadn't thought about the miscarriage. But if you think she had and rang anyway then yes it's awful and a message would have been better.

My friend announced her pregnancy on Facebook and I saw it on the way home from hospital after my miscarriage. Not at all her fault and she absolutely shouldn't have waited to post it just because of me but it still really stung.

it's not about keeping everyone happy; you're being hyperbolic
it's about not cold-video calling your friend with a scan pic when she's experienced a loss
simple really ❤️

Jesus what's wrong with people?!

You just assume it might be sensitive for everyone. They may not have told you. It's not hard to announce it in a sensitive way

I wouldn't be upset by this no

Also no one is really that interested in the scan photo unless they are family I guess

What a gross reply. As someone else said you’d be aware of what a friend was going through

sorry OP, I think your friend has been insensitive, hopefully just because she got carried away with her own excitement. I think a large amount of us know not to announce a pregnancy to someone who has had a loss in this way

Thing is it's not important. Not really. That's what's making it so painful is the BIG WOOOOP ANNOUNCEMENT when it just needs to be a "so I'm pregnant"

I find sending messages rude myself, I much prefer to call or be called if it's important

The problem is that everyone is different, some people wouldn't appreciate a message and would prefer to be called. Whilst for you this was wrong for others this would be the right way

Same here. In my case it was in person, being offered the scan photos (years ago, hard copy).

Please - never do it. Have a little think before you make your announcement. It does not take anything away from your pregnancy to be thoughtful towards others. Not being thoughtful can cause much distress to others.

In general I would say YABU but in this case this was very insensitive of her

It's really not that hard to remember if you care about your friends.

Your ‘friend’ was particularly insensitive and I’d think most people would have a bit more tact in her position. I’m sorry for your loss, and that you had to deal with that on top. Sadly people do weird things around all types of bereavement.

Nobody will ever get it right it would be hard to keep up with everyone's pregnancy and who is ttc had an abortion, still born child, miscarriages etc.

How on earth can someone keep everyone happy?

I lost triplets at 20 weeks, the day of their funeral my cousin (who knew as my aunt told her) rang me and announced she was pregnant and then proceeded to post it on Facebook.

People just don't get it.

This, agreeing with that she's probably got carried away, unless you think she was being malicious on purpose, then you should distance yourself.