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Original poster

My Partner Does not Remeber Childhood

110 replies

Peach0123 · 09/11/2024 00:15

Hi,

I am looking for some opinions on this situation and also some advice .

My partner and I have been together for 6 years, very happy and have 1DS. During the whole time we have been together he has never chatted about childhood, his teenage years, or now noticing any recent times.

Things come up whether watching TV, out with our DS or just in general conversation where I'll say " yeah I remember doing so amd so as a kid" or talking about teenage years, what posters were on my wall . What friends I had and how we drifted, you get where going with this. My partner has absolutely no memory of his years whatsoever. 2 memories, which are the exact same MIL talks of every single time and there's no space to ask questions there or would be first person I'd ask, he would have been about 5 then.

So there's no drip feed- I do feel he keeps alot to himself. A few months ago, went to an event and met really key people, had photos with them, he would have been buzzing with excitement. Came home and I had no idea until seeing his camera roll a few days ago he had photos with them. He told no one at all. This was a big deal for him but was brushed away like nothing.

I am so open with him and always have been, it feeling like opeing up whenever needed is not right.

I have tried to speak to him at various different times about things then felt better to stop getting nowhere to help.

stuck now, do I help. If so how?

AIBU to think 6 years I should be treated like a stranger.

OP posts:
DriedHydrangeas · 09/11/2024 00:33

I remember very little of mine. I was the victim of CSA aged nine, but I don’t have many memories from before that either. It was generally a quietly unhappy upbringing. I think I chose to delete the memories.

I don’t think this is about his childhood, though. You feel he’s not forthcoming enough around you, that him not telling you he’d met ‘key people’ is him treating you ‘like a stranger’.

MyrtleStrumpet · 09/11/2024 00:33

He's a man. Things happen. He moves on. Sounds idyllic.

Berlinlover · 09/11/2024 00:33

Some people are just like that. I had a traumatic childhood yet remember loads about my childhood. I’m Irish and was raised Catholic (now I’m atheist) and find it astonishing other people raised as Catholics can’t remember their Communion or Confirmation days or first day at school.

MisfitMagpie · 09/11/2024 00:32

I have few memories of my childhood or pretty much up to GCSEs, I have no childhood trauma that I know of, I am also aware this is weird and is actually inconvenient to me.

I do have no problem with memories as an adult.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 09/11/2024 00:31

I'm guessing he had a shit time and doesn't want to remember

CocoDC · 09/11/2024 00:27

When you say childhood what do you mean? It’s actually very normal for a happy well adjusted childhood before 10 to result in very few memories.

Original poster
Peach0123 · 09/11/2024 00:25

username7891 · 09/11/2024 00:21

Did he suffer any trauma?

Does he have no memory or he just doesn't like to talk about it? Having no memory whatsoever of your whole childhood to teenage years, is very unusual.

This was my first thought throughout the time we have been together, but he says he had a happy childhood. Just can't remember.

This is why I'm worried to be honest.

OP posts:
ScaredAndPanicky · 09/11/2024 00:23

I have no childhood memories whatsoever. I suffered fairly horrific abuse and I have blocked it out. In doing so I have blocked out all good memories too. I can't even remember my wedding to my ex for example.
If that made a new partner think I was holding info back from them, that would be their issue. I can't suddenly remember stuff that I really do not know.

MadnessIsMyMiddleName · 09/11/2024 00:22

I think from what you're saying OP, that maybe your DH is choosing not to remember his childhood for some reason, and other than occasionally speaking about your own childhood to see if he eventually starts to open up, that you are probably better off not trying to force the issue. It could be that he was sexually abused at a young age, and has therefore chosen to block out his childhood, but I really don't think it would be wise to try and push him on this. However if this was the case, then obviously if it should come out at some point, you need to be prepared to listen, and allow him to share as much, or as little of his story as he wants to, and then encourage him to seek counselling, if necessary.

username7891 · 09/11/2024 00:21

Did he suffer any trauma?

Does he have no memory or he just doesn't like to talk about it? Having no memory whatsoever of your whole childhood to teenage years, is very unusual.