Do you throw birthday parties for your children

Nope. They're 5&8 and had one each

I have 3 kids they all got or will get one huge school class party. The youngest is booked for next year (less than half the price to book it now).

After that big party I do smaller things with a little group of friends again not every birthday. This year DC1 had a small bowling party with 3 friends, DC went to the cinema and had his cousin over for a sleepover and DC3 birthday was whilst we were on holiday so i booked some nice activities.

I only do large parties as a one off but can afford it. If I couldn't I wouldn't. They are stressful and can be expensive.

My eldest had days out with 1 or 2 close friends until y5+6 when he had a slightly larger close friend group so had 4 friends (autistic and has always had a smaller friend group)

My youngest is in reception and seems to have loads of friends so I think we will probably hire the village hall and a bouncy castle and just invite the class for his 5th and then scale it down in future years, seems like it will cost about the same as a day out tbf

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Ours did have birthday parties at primary school, but only the first one was a full class one. After that they’d started to make firmer friendships so it was easier to invite a smaller group.

Don‘t feel pressured to spend a lot, a small tea party with a few friends and some games will go down well while he’s little

Never had a party and they seems the norm now where we are, there's a few parties a year in classes of 25.

We did small home parties with sandwiches and home made cake, they really don’t have to be expensive.

We do have birthday parties, but not every single year. Some years we do a family day out or a day out with a friend or two. Just because it's a lot organizing a whole party as well.

What a complete charmer you are

I really hope you're not one of DS's classmates parents. I'd hate for you to have to go to their parties organised by the other mugs parents. What an inconvenience for you.

I'm early 40s too & my DB & I had birthday parties every year - usually at home, then maybe a trip to the cinema etc when older. This was the 80s & 90s & lots of my friends had parties too.

Birthday parties greatly help a child's self esteem and friendship circle. Being able to meet up and have fun outside school seems to have a huge bonding effect amongst classmates. As a PP mentioned, even hosting a small party means you get several reciprocal invites and get to meet other parents outside of the rushed, school gate environment. We've been to many non-fancy home birthdays which was just some snacks, a homemade cake, small party games and running around in the garden. The kids absolutely loved it.

It might be a stretch, but considering how serious the issue of school refusal is, creating "fun spaces" for a child & their friends at an early age could be a far more valuable investment than you imagine. The school system is difficult enough and good friends are the only thing that makes it worth attending. If they don't have secure friendships or worse, get bullied, then it's understandable why so many children eventually end up hating or refusing school.

Throwing a party is one of the very small and simple things you can do as a parent which helps kids get a feeling that they are appreciated by their friends. The simple fact that someone went the extra mile to come to your house on a weekend means a lot amongst kids.

Just remembering my parties as a child. My parents had very little money and there were rules for the party. You could choose 6 guests and no longer than 2 hours. Mum would make the cake, pass the parcel, musical bumps, statues and chairs ( cushions though - no room for chairs) you’d eat jam and cheese spread sandwiches, crisps, chocolate fingers and party rings! Party bags hadn’t been invented which helped with the cost. They were fabulous and literally everyone I knew had the same party!

I think that when McDonald's parties started to take off, in the early 2000's and then we had whacky warehouse etc offering parties. Before that people who had big families etc would hire the community/church hall.
@thecherryfox could you save for his 5th birthday and look into local halls/bouncy castle hire? Most of my GC friends have had class parties on there 5th year. My eldest GC picks a extended weekend holiday over a party. The youngest only wants a party. We all chip in instead of presents.

Ds1 was 21 this week and I was thinking about this. He is going out with friends tonight and tomorrow I am hosting lunch for family including his girlfriend’s parents.

When he was on reception, especially for the autumnborn children it seemed quite common to have whole class parties but not everyone did. By year one it was smaller groups.

ds3 was 15 recently and we took him and some friends to do an escape room and McDonalds.

It’s never unreasonable to not have a party you can’t afford. I would just not rule out inviting a couple of close friends round to help celebrate.

The norm here seems to be whole class in P1, all the girls/boys in P2 and TBD in P3.

But there have been a good few DC who haven't done this and I've heard literally zero judgement.

Your DS will remember you making a big fuss of his birthday - that doesn't necessarily need to be expensive.

Why call the parents mugs?

Yet you still took your child to the party they paid for and accepted their hospitality. What a bad attitude.

My daughter had an all class party (she’s in reception) and has been to several others, but I’m pretty certain there will still be more kids in her class who don’t have an all class party than those who do. I have to admit I’ve rarely been gladder for anything to be over.

We did some whole class parties in a hall with bouncy castle etc or magician/clown but not every year. We had smaller parties of 8/10 kids - swimming, football, soft play, bowling, cinema, doughnuting at ski centre (5 kids so we've had a lot of birthdays!) Just do what you can afford - a few friends with a party tea and a few games at home is lovely and you don't have to spend a lot.

I did them on a tight budget with a limited guest list. It was important for my child.

My son started reception last year and we had about 4 parties by this time last year, he's now in year 1 and we've had 0 party invitations since going back... I think most parents have given up ha!

I held a class party for my son in August and I did say that would be the first and last... surprising how stressful it becomes with people not telling you they're coming until the week of! I also thought I was being clever and hiring a hall and an entertainer, turned out very expensive! If you do hold one definitely go to a soft play as they work out half the price (well mine would have been!).

We had about 10 parties in reception (there's 24 in the class) so most parents don't throw one and no one will begrudge you of it!

Do you throw birthday parties for your children?

So I guess I’m just curious if you all do full on parties for your children each year?

These are two different questions.

Yes, all my dc had a birthday party each, from Reception until they chose different things in top Juniors.

But no, I've never thrown a whole class party in my life.

My dc usually had a few friends round for a party at home. There was the odd one at a soft play, but again, smaller numbers. We've had picnics and different things like that.

This year DD isn't having a party, she's in year 1. In reception it was a few friends to a soft play. She only got invited to a couple so it isn't like everyone's doing whole class parties

We didn’t. I could probably have hosted some kids at home but a) the kids weren’t really that bothered when they were in year 1 and 2 and b) I couldn’t be arsed with it. They went to so many swim/soft play/village hall parties organised by other mugs parents in the school year that I don’t think they would’ve have noticed if we’d done one or not.

It was only when they really started to form firm friendships in year 4 and 5 that we started to do low key activities like a trip to the cinema and McDonald’s etc.