Paid off partners debt when we moved in together, £62K, 3 years ago. On basis no more loans/credit cards
recently found out he is £20k in debit now. Some from before most from after. I insisted on seeing credit report as I am about to get sale proceeds from property and want to know what situation is. I feel bit repulsed and insulted this has been allowed to happen. But I am debt avoidant and I guess lucky I have been able to.
Aibu for not feeling able to get over this? For not being able to accept he struggles to discuss money which is compounded as we have not been getting on. Been in counselling for a year. Has lied about debt there.
I stupidly started vaping to deal with stress (yes I know it doesn’t) and have snuck in the loo at home and not told him. He is equating the two. Is it the same? I feel emotionally burnt out and not sure what to think anymore. Please be gentle. I am aware vaping is stupid and hiding stuff is a bad bad sign in a relationship but I’ve lost perspective and don’t want to disclose debt to anyone we know to discuss in person.
yabu - £20k not much for 3 years when starting a business/He cannot discuss money, you cannot discuss vaping so you both need to sort yourselves out.
yanbu - it’s a lost cause all round.