Just curious what’s the common age for 4th baby

What makes you want to have 4,5 or more children? Presumably you are well off so you can afford big houses with each child having their own room, 7 seater car, huge food bills etc.

I have had 4 kids in just over 7 years (first when I was 23 and final at 30 in 2019)... and, at the risk of sounding like a knobhead, the honest answer is I am just very good at it. Practically in terms of falling pregnant easily, having easy pregnancies - never sick, simple vaginally deliveries, pain free breastfeeding until aged 2 each time - so nothing to put me off or make me think twice about my own health, etc. We are not rich but met very young, getting on the housing ladder in 2007 when a 3 bed semi was £90k in our area; we have gradually upgraded with small windfalls and with home improvements and it has taken 3 or 4 houses moves to get where we are. We have plenty of space - our house is technically a 7 bed but we only use 5 as bedrooms.

We both don't really have careers - as in our jobs arent a calling or a vocation but just something to do until our tea is ready - but we are reasonably well-paid (not by MN standards! £65k a year between us) and quite easy jobs so are quite time rich. We really wanted 4 kids and really enjoy having them. We have one set of local grandparents, fairly local, but they don't do loads of childcare, just a school run and teatime a week - at its peak they did one 6 hour day a week which we were grateful for but didn't need. But crucially I (especially important as the primary carer imo) am well supported emotionally by lots of friends I have known since childhood, and we as.a couple just really like each other and get on well.

Our life is busy and fun and yes, expensive, but it is not especially hard work. The things that have been tricky - death, redundancy, illness - are tricky with one kid or ten, and our four wonderful kids are a.comfort and a joy (and yes, a worry, but a powerful and purposeful worry if that makes sense. When things are bad we keep going and make changes for them.)

It is totally different strokes for different folks and in the same way I look at people with hard jobs (as an example, doctors) and think "What on earth do you get out of doing that?", I know my life choices are baffling to just as many.

A large family lots if work but lots of joy too and had most of my children 4-5 years apart so not so overwhelming.

Understandable, 3 children at any one time enough for me, we’ve got a large family but the older ones are adults so it’s on the 3 younger ones doing laundry for

I was 35 nearly 36 when my 4th child was born

4th and final age 34

After spending ages hanging up socks for the three of us I'm thankful I don't have washing for 6 people.😥

My siblings were in their late thirties to early forties.

SIL had #4 when she was 35 and will be 37 when #5 is due

You’ve got to ignore it. People always, always have opinions on this and ultimately it is nobody’s business. You’re in good health it seems, and in a position financially and space wise to have another,

Excluding extreme end of the spectrum parenting ages, both young and old, I think being a good and involved parent matters most than whether you’re 25 or 45 doing the school run.

The members of netmums in general are different to here, not least because they don't know how to spell you, but even they are simply stating a fact, how is it upsetting to read that every day you live you are nearer dying

I only know 2 people who’ve had that many dc.

One had her 4th at 45 (very much unplanned but they are quite religious).

One had her 5th in late 30s. She met her husband, got married and had 5 babies in 10 years, my hat is off to her!

So on a different site with a very different demographic - people behind a screen have said it about a theoretical situation and you had to search for it not even you posting - so why the fuck do you care ?

Since becoming a mother I've been subject to many unwanted and unasked opinions - most mothers are and thanks to non mother on here I know many women who aren't mothers are as well.

Live your life as you see fit and given less credence to others opinions - you'll probably also be happier if you stop googling opinions to get offended about.

I was 44 - my DC was at primary school with people with older parents and some already had nieces and nephews.
As for having less time with you they have their own lives once adults plus being from a large family have siblings and their children

I was 35 when had my 4th child

I’m sick of people saying oh u get less time with your children when your an older parent what age is an older parent these days??

Who is saying this?

I've literally never heard this said in RL and not really on here either.

DH grew up in an area where they tend to be parents in their 20s - several of his cousins are nearer 40 or over 40 when they became first time parents. The female cousin got some comments but nothing like this - because people can die at any age and most people fully understand this.

Honestly if you have people saying this to you - tell them to stop being so ridiculous - and think about who you are socializing with.

4th at 33 5th at 42

I know a few families with 4 or more and it is not very uncommon at all - I have three and that is increasingly labeled by all as a .large family.

Mother's I knew with fourth they've ranged from mid 20s to mid 40s and they have a wide variety of reasons and situations.

It's been widely reported in media that average age of first time parenthood is on the rise in the west and across all social economic groups - even in the lower social economic groups that are know to become parents earlier.

This is a site weighted to SE - London - higher income and more education levels - all of which mean it has more older parents than statistically normal across the whole of the UK. So it will seem odd to many posters that late 30 is labeled too old as it about time many of their peers will try for their first.

The less time thing is also odd - what does that mean. When my kids were young many of the older parents late 30 early 40s had more time with young kids because they were economically secure enough to drop hours and senior enough to get p/t flexi work patterns - so many had more time with young kids. Not so sure that the same now with cost of living. Less lifespan with them - well that not a given seeing as people of all ages can die.

We did think of a 4th - we've loved having kids - but had horrible maternity experience with third and took 6 years to move out that area - and but then DH being 41 and me 38 felt too late for us and too big a gap with our exiting kids - but that was a very individual choice. We've had family member have larger gaps or be first or second parents at those ages and it works for them.

Not usually but yes, I would ask you in person in this instance if you are usually so obtuse if we were having this conversation face to face.

Older parents on paper will have less time with their children. This is not a mystery. Reality is - who knows, anyone could get hit by a bus tomorrow, be struck down with cancer and die young. An older parent might live to a 100.

Same.

The only family I know with 4 kids are very religious and don't use contraception, just leave it in the hands of God. They had 3 kids with maybe 2 years between them, then a surprise 4th when the next youngest was 6.

They are a lovely family, both doctors, lots of money, lots of family support.

I don't know any other large families. Most other families have either 1 or 2 kids, very occasionally 3.

I don't know any of these women who have children throughout their 20s, 30s, 40s.

Also, OP, not sure what you are getting at by saying you don't understand people who say you have less time with your kids if you have them late.

I feel you are being disingenuous but I don't know what.

If you live to 80 and have a baby when you are 20, you will have 60 years with your child and they will be 60 when you die.

If you live to 80 and have a child at 40 they will only be 40 when you die. 20 years less time than if you'd had them at 20.

Do you genuinely not understand that?

Had my first at 26 and my 4th aged 34 (two weeks before my 35th birthday). 28, 31 for the middle children.
I'm younger than the other mums in the main for my first & second child, average for my last two. I personally wasn't keen to go over 35. For starters you're considered a geriatric mum with the NHS. Wasn't keen on that if i could help it!