Not even a card!!

I can't believe some of these responses! Of course you're upset your sister didn't get you a card, especially after paying for everything. You're also entitled to be upset. Never have I been to a wedding where I didn't bring a card or a present, it's bad manners. She sounds jealous.

Genuinely some people just don’t think! I’ve noticed through the years, I give cards and presents when i think appropriate, I don’t expect back but there are times when it would’ve in my mind been appropriate, but some people just aren’t like that at all unfortunately. Funny thing is, some of them get upset if it’s done to them! Some don’t, which is fair enough and they also don’t expect. I guess everyone’s different.

I’ve never heard anyone say they would have been happy with a card whom I believed would, in fact, have been happy with a card.

I can’t belive you messaged to ask! How rude.

How old is your sister in relation to you?

YANBU! I can't believe how many people are against you on this. You're asking, in essence, if we would also feel aggrieved not to get a card. I would. I'd be mildly annoyed and would definitely grumble to other friends and family about it. I'm clearly not as grown up as all the other Mumsnetters who are above such petty trifles. After my wedding, we matched up a list of attendees with a list of gifts. There was one gift with no name so we didn't know who to thank. I had no card or anything from my best man so I thought it was from him. Very awkward when he had to say it wasn't, and he hadn't given anything, even a card! It's the absence of a card that gets me. Even my friend who was really struggling financially at the time brought a card his children had made. Very sweet! Some people, I think, are just more literal minded and less bothered. They say things like, "they know I love them; why do they need a card?" My sister never gets my dad a birthday card because of this logic. She thinks he doesn't care about cards. And she's right, he doesn't literally care about cards, but he does care that the only name missing from the mantelpiece is hers.

It is normal to give a gift usually accompanied by a card.

The op has been very generous from the sounds of things.

A small token like a card to wish someone well is a lovely gesture and also a standard gesture

Perhaps the op intended to keep all the cards.

However, if your sister is often thoughtless like this, op, then I would simply reign in any spending on her. Sounds like you've spent a lot already.

How is your relationship normally??

My wedding was only us and 2 witnesses (and a foetus... cough) . The party we did a few weeks later, was our celebration for friends and family (where we also announced 4 months pregnant (alteady told parents and close family)). We paid for it all, we housed people in our houses. We refused presents or gifts. We just said if you want particular drinks then bring your own. So much better than making expectations on people. Low key everyone enjoyed themselves, my advice to all is never expect, nor set high goals for a wedding.

Totally agree here. I wouldn’t expect anything from the matron of honour. Showing up and supporting me would be gift enough.

Crikey I only had a small wedding of less than 20 and I don’t know if I got a card off everyone, really wasn’t something I thought to check

In our culture it is absolutely standard to bring a card and gift for the happy couple. Quite unthinkable not to do so.

I would have to ask her op.

‘Sister, we have just enjoyed reading through our cards and I am just checking whether you gave a card or gift to us? As I haven’t seen one and I am worried it has been lost’

It is possible it is lost. It is possible she xent something that didn’t turn up, but if she didn’t send anything at all - not even a card that needs to be flushed out op. And discussed. You could be honest that it has hurt your feelings.

This, op is being pathetic about a silly card when her sister was right there being a huge part of the day. In my culture we give little gifts to the guests for attending as a gesture of thanks and appreciation.
Op sounds like she wants to control her sister.

She's your sister, why do you need a card from her? What difference would it make in your life for receiving a card? Sounds like you want some control here.
She was MOh, her kids were part of your wedding and you're scrounging around for a card? That sounds really petty on your part.

We got married in Greece, less than 30 people altogether (immediate family and a few close friends) and everyone basically made the trip into their summer holiday. Given the costs involved, we told everyone not to get us any gifts. Many did anyway, ranging from personalised champagne flutes to monetary gifts of a few hundred pounds. One of my DB didn’t get us a card nor a present, whilst the other did both. One of my BILs gave a card and gift, the other also gave neither.

Would it have been nice to have had a card from my brother and brother in law as a keepsake from the day? Well, yes probably (I have actually kept all of the cards we received as it’s nice to read through them occasionally - some of the messages were really lovely). But in the grand scheme of things it’s insignificant. It hasn’t changed my relationship with either of them and ultimately I’m just grateful that they went to the time, effort and expense to be a part of our special day (and the hen/stag dos in the lead up), which is far more important and meaningful to me.

I actually have my bridal party gifts. Also the last thing I was concerned with after my wedding was who didn't and didn't give a gift or card

OP I think you're using the card (or lack thereof) as a proxy for something. Your sister was there on your day and therefore presumably did spend time, effort and attention on you. So what is still lacking for you in your relationship with her that the failure to send a card represents? I say this kindly. Introspect and try to work out what symbolism the card has for you, and therefore what exactly she has failed to do for you that is represented by the card. It could be money, general consistent care or attention, thoughtfulness, etc. I think you need to work out what this card is standing for, for you.

We are always extremely generous with gifts for weddings, birthdays, Xmas etc.

However I don’t think I got my brother or SIL cards or presents when they got married. Not out of lack of care - we speak constantly, they know how happy I am/was for them and there was nothing that a card would symbolise that my joy at the occasion didn’t.

Equally don’t think we received cards / gifts from them, or bridesmaids.

Maybe some people don't give a fuck about getting cards.

You’re not being unreasonable op. At all. The idea that your own sister couldn’t be arsed to go and get a card and write a few nice words on it is inexcusable. Some people are utterly selfish. And I can’t believe the snarky comments on here, maybe they are the same thoughtless and lazy ilk.

I think you're being ridiculous. So glad I eloped if this is the fucking nonsense that weddings being about

Am I the only one confused here? When you say a card do you actually mean money? Is that it?

Quite…

If your sister got wind you were being petty and slagging her off on the internet for not buying you a wedding card.Your relationship might be over.

First-world problem...