to think that children in your child's class don't identify as animals?

I think I've explained myself enough and we will just have to agree to disagree! I'm sorry if my stance in any way hurts or offends you

If you are aware of the links with fetishism, and you are confident that she doesn't really believe she is a cat/therian, why can't you correct her language? What's wrong with teaching her to use more appropriate terminology with no links to fetishism? Why can't she play cats without calling herself a therian and identifying as anything?

She definitely doesn't truly believe she's a cat - it's 100% a game that her and all her friends play, and it's not all the time, she does plenty of other activities and plays other imaginary games that don't involve this.

BUT, in her world, the word therian is used for this game and they do say they were animals in past lives and go through shifts when they become their animal. If I challenge it, she does say no mummy I AM a cat now as I have gone through a shift, but this only lasts for the remainder of the game and then is forgotten. I know her friends play it at school and sometimes like dressing up and making masks outside of school, amongst many other other, normal activities.

I guess what I'm trying to say is although they have heard and apply certain language to this, and yes I have had a chat about what identifying as something means, I don't hold too much weight to it. This is the world now and the language they are growing up around. In the vast majority of cases it's just kids exploring and playing and it's completely harmless. I do appreciate there are certain cases where it has gone too far, especially in older kids, what what I'm talking about is the current trend of primary aged children pretending to be animals and calling themselves therians. I agree this has likely trickled down through tiktok and YouTube (although in my daughter's case she has no access to these) but this is just what happens in schools.

I know there is some connotations to fetishism but I am no more concerned than any other risks of abuse on the Internet for example. I don't think someone with a furry fetish or whatever will be any more likely to be a pedophile, any more than any other kind of fetish. She's not allowed on the Internet or social media anyway so I think she's pretty protected.

I appreciate some people may not take the same approach with their kids but I feel strongly that I don't want to shame her at 7 years old for something completely harmless. As I said before, if the phase doesn't pass and she goes to secondary school still playing this game or calling herself a therian, it might be time to have a more serious chat. But for now I have absolutely zero concerns and neither do the parents of her friends.

I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, as it's not intended that way...

As far as I can see, there's a difference between enjoying imaginary play and believing something is your identity/that you really are that thing 'in real life'. My DC and their friends enjoy imaginary play, pretending to be animals/superheroes/characters and making/wearing costumes, but they are clear it's pretend.

Is your child enjoying pretend play and related crafting activities while still knowing that she's a human being, or does she genuinely believe that she is an animal trapped in a human body? If it's the former, why is the 'therian' label being applied? I thought this referred to people identifying as something non-human, which would seem different from imaginary play which is a normal developmental activity enjoyed by many (even as adults). If it's the latter, what's her thought process around this and when did it cross from being imaginary play into something more pervasive?

If she believes herself to be something she cannot possibly be in reality, has this been explored or challenged? Has she had any counselling or other space to discuss her thoughts and feelings about it?

Some of the adults involved with the online communities around this seem quite concerning - eg cross-overs with groups calling for "MAP" to be more accepted, introducing adult and sexual themes to underage people, fetishes linked with elements of the communities... Do these things concern you or anyone else aware of your daughter's involvement with this community? How do you protect her from these risks?

How exactly are other kids affected by ‘expecting to go along with it?’ Therians put on a mask and go out together in little groups and hang out. No one else needs to do anything or say anything. They hang out together and mind their own business. If your child doesn’t want to wear a mask, then they don’t have to. No one is trying to force anyone to do anything; they don’t go round forcing others to don a mask and tail. As has been repeated many times, there is no accommodations. They don’t crawl and purr in the class. They don’t have litter boxes. They don’t expect people to pat them. So there is nothing for any other kids to ‘go along with’. If your child is a Taylor swift fan and gets dressed up as a swiftie and hangs out with her friends and sings her songs and posts on TikTok is that then ‘offensive’ to other kids who think Taylor swift is garbage? No it’s not. People like different things. If you are offended by others personal choices that have nothing to do with you then you are the one with the problem.

honestly I feel like you are the sort of person who in the 50s would have been offended to have to be in the same school or use the same bathroom as a poc 🙄

I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, as it's not intended that way...

As far as I can see, there's a difference between enjoying imaginary play and believing something is your identity/that you really are that thing 'in real life'. My DC and their friends enjoy imaginary play, pretending to be animals/superheroes/characters and making/wearing costumes, but they are clear it's pretend.

Is your child enjoying pretend play and related crafting activities while still knowing that she's a human being, or does she genuinely believe that she is an animal trapped in a human body? If it's the former, why is the 'therian' label being applied? I thought this referred to people identifying as something non-human, which would seem different from imaginary play which is a normal developmental activity enjoyed by many (even as adults). If it's the latter, what's her thought process around this and when did it cross from being imaginary play into something more pervasive?

If she believes herself to be something she cannot possibly be in reality, has this been explored or challenged? Has she had any counselling or other space to discuss her thoughts and feelings about it?

Some of the adults involved with the online communities around this seem quite concerning - eg cross-overs with groups calling for "MAP" to be more accepted, introducing adult and sexual themes to underage people, fetishes linked with elements of the communities... Do these things concern you or anyone else aware of your daughter's involvement with this community? How do you protect her from these risks?

And there we have it - transphobic comments.

Exactly this! I don't get why everyone cares so much. My daughter and her friends just like pretending to be cats and making masks etc. It's so harmless.

How exactly are other kids affected by ‘expecting to go along with it?’ Therians put on a mask and go out together in little groups and hang out. No one else needs to do anything or say anything. They hang out together and mind their own business. If your child doesn’t want to wear a mask, then they don’t have to. No one is trying to force anyone to do anything; they don’t go round forcing others to don a mask and tail. As has been repeated many times, there is no accommodations. They don’t crawl and purr in the class. They don’t have litter boxes. They don’t expect people to pat them. So there is nothing for any other kids to ‘go along with’. If your child is a Taylor swift fan and gets dressed up as a swiftie and hangs out with her friends and sings her songs and posts on TikTok is that then ‘offensive’ to other kids who think Taylor swift is garbage? No it’s not. People like different things. If you are offended by others personal choices that have nothing to do with you then you are the one with the problem.

honestly I feel like you are the sort of person who in the 50s would have been offended to have to be in the same school or use the same bathroom as a poc 🙄

If affects others when we're expected to go along with it. It's not nasty to tell a child they can't be a non existent therian, or a different species.
Most children aren't "nasty bitches" or identifying as impossible things. There's a happy middle ground 99% occupy.

no she isn’t, and none of the therians are. Where the fake news comes into this is all the talk of litter trays and adjustments. They are just normal tween kids. I know a lot of therians and not one wants to use a litter box or insists on crawling round purring. they just make masks and tails and sometimes wear them out in a group.

It is usually a coping strategy and other children recognise that. A lot of girls on the autistic spectrum are not picked up and are left to navigate school etc as best they can. Playing as a cat is like a costume they put on so they don't have to be themselves.

No, far from the same - but equally, I keep seeing on MN people talking about goths as though they were models of virtue from a Victorian Sunday School book who happened to like black eyeliner, so I thought it was worth the correction!

I've been to TG too back in the day and it's precisely because I have been around the scene as an adult that I am worried about the mission creep from kink and furries down to therians. NOBODY on the Goth scene was encouraging vulnerable 11 year olds to think of themselves as having an inner Goth soul and post pictures or videos of themselves on social media for adult goths to admire. Who knows, if tiktok had existed back then maybe they would have done, because there's creeps in every community, but I think the extreme appeal of this to children and especially to autistic children makes it particularly worrying.