To ask for stepson to stay at his mums this weekend?

Really. If DSS went to the wedding and became unwell or didn't enjoy it because he was poorly you would blame op for taking him along despite knowing he was unwell. And if you were one of the guests you would fret that she brought a kid who potentially has Covid.

More chance of her getting a cold/covid at school. I would say up to your SS if he's that poorly maybe he would rather stay at home

Of course she does! It's clear she loves him and he's part of the family.

How exactly is that clear?

mask up (both of them) keep them separate and let him feel ill in his bed if that's what he wants to do.

Of course she does! It's clear she loves him and he's part of the family.

There's a major event in 8 days, the poorly child would be sharing a room with the bridesmaid, and if there's a way to avoid spreading the cold before the wedding any sensible person would take it.

If it was her stepson as a pageboy and her daughter was ill, I'm sure the OP would equally suggest keeping them apart just before the event.

OP, can you ask if he say with his mum and your DH comes to see him with a care package of his new game and some nice treats? So he's feeling cossetted and not excluded?

He is unwell. Could be Covid. And probably not the best place for him even if he was a bio kid

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Yes, your DD could pick up something at school but she’s more likely to if someone ill is in the same house.

I say this as someone who’s currently on antibiotics due to a chest infection that DS brought home from school!

Op you are really not being unreasonable. I think a lot of the answers on here are OTT which is always what you get re step kids. He is with you every weekend so assuming he is happy with his mum during the week then one weekend is not unreasonable or the end of the world. If you were suggesting one of your kids off the grandparents in the same scenario no-one would have a problem with it. I think it's perfect reasonable to ask DSS mum, if she can't do it for whatever reason then fine but at least ask. If DSS is feeling up to it maybe DH could take him for lunch and some activity on the Sat or Sun.

This is ridiculous. A sick child should stay and quarantine with the parent in whose care they are.

Ah so he wanted to come and your husband bribed him to stay away. Excellent result.

Different issue I know but why doesn't his mum get some weekends with her son?

Must be tough on her doing all the grind in the week and no family time?

It's fair and makes complete sense. You just don't like it because it shows that she doesn't consider her stepson a part of the family like her own.

I've never really understood why people think that moving sick children between houses is a good idea. It's not nice for the child to have to go out in the cold when they're ill or for the people in the other household to get sick unnecessarily. Dsds always stay put when ill because it's in everyone's best interests.

This is unfair and makes no sense. She is not suggesting she send him away , she is suggesting that he stay in the home that he has in most of the time with his mother where presumably he feels safe and secure.
She isn't being the wicked stepmother just making a sensible suggestion to reduce the chance of him passing on a nasty virus.

I think it’s just always best to ask. We have DSS 60/40 which might be why he always wants my DP when he’s ill as he’s basically the default parent but he loves his routine and would hate for it to be disrupted because he’s ill.

Also your DP if he’s going to his ex’s to see your DSS and driving him around may catch a bug anyway and pass it onto your DD. It’s just difficult navigating illness with stepkids and as a previous poster said, changing things up just because a kid is ill can cause such resentment.

Well don’t get them to share rooms! Get your husband to bunk in with him and you share with your daughter - often sleep in with my older child if they’re unwell.

sorry, this is bonkers. it's also DSS's home. you cannot just farm him off because is has a virus. Our of interest, onto whom would you try to dump your own DS if he comes up with a bug in the next few days? Please don't say it's different, it's not. Where is DH on this all?

It’s hard isn’t it - what you would do if your son was ill? I think you could ask and see if he’s happy to be closer to his mother - nobody wants to get ill unnecessarily - but if not to take whatever precautions you would if he was your own child! Handwashing, no sharing utensils etc

Why not offer to have him longer from mid-week. Mention the wedding say you’ll have him from the minute he goes back to school and offer a monday school drop off too.

I think you are right to keep DSS with his Mum in this situation. This is exceptional circumstances when there’s a big event coming up. It’s different if a child becomes unwell when staying with you or there’s no choice. The suggestion of a drive through with your DH is ideal if DSS is feeling well enough.

I’ve had covid recently and I definitely wouldn’t have felt like sitting in a car for 45 minutes when I was at my worst.

I hope DSS feels better soon!

I had a similar setup with my stepson when he was little. If you got ill with us he would stay with us so it's not to pass it onto his mum and her boyfriend, particularly as she has health problems and vice versa if he was already ill, he wouldn't come to us. He might prefer being in the one place.

If your two-year-old starts showing signs of illness are you going to send him away until after the wedding?