Page 6 | to not let neighbour use my shower!

NavyOrca · 2024-11-07T23:49:00+00:00

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day. I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower! For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though. AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:40

Bignanna · 08/11/2024 14:28

Perhaps the OP is worried that the neighbour might have very long showers, or not clean up afterwards. If the neighbour still has a water supply, which I presume she has, as she has not asked to keep using the loo, then surely a wash at the sink would suffice until her shower is working again? Plenty of people do that anyway!

Here's a suggestion. Sorry if it blows anyone's mind.
'Sure, neighbour. If I could just ask you to come in between x o'clock and o'clock so I always know when to expect you, and keep it down to x minutes – watching the bills, you know how it is! There's a hand-held thing for rinsing round the bath after.'

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:38

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:19

Although a lot of people are fine with their neighbours pubes !

Does that inculde the ones stuck to the ceiling, ( couldn’t resist ) I’m guessing for some anything goes.

So gross

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In my world, pubes generally go down the plug during the showering process. Any errant ones, people generally rinse them down after. If people don't, or they're very sneaky and remain, I rinse them down with the hand-held attachment. As another poster said, I don't think most people clean the bath with their tongue

FinallySleep · 08/11/2024 14:35

YABU!

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:34

MsCactus · 08/11/2024 12:51

Agree. You can fill up a bath with a kettle easy enough.

Neighbour has made an unreasonable request imo

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Filling a bath with a kettle takes aeons.

KnigCnut · 08/11/2024 14:33

Bippy2024 · 08/11/2024 12:55

That's nice for you.

Not how lots of other people feel though, and they're not remotely unfair or unusual for not wanting to do it.

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The person I have seen most vocally and angrily arguing with those of us who would be ok with it appears to be you. I am perfectly capable of understanding that no everyone feels the same.

Hopefully after your bedtime shower and a good night's sleep, you will be less angst ridden in the morning.

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:33

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:31

The OP has addressed the friend or relative thing.
Sure, she could boil endless kettles and have a strip-wash like in the 40s. Or the OP could do her a little favour.

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We were doing that into the 80s every summer holiday at my grandads…..it’s not that far back a thing

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:33

Toomanyemails · 08/11/2024 12:41

To the extent of not allowing a (female) neighbour you have a friendly relationship with to borrow your shower during a week when you plan on being home? I'm not sure I know anyone who'd refuse that and would find it really unusual.

Neighbour isn't asking to join OP in her shower unless this is the biggest drip feed ever

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Neighbour isn't asking to join OP in her shower unless this is the biggest drip feed ever

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:31

Iwantamarshmallowman · 08/11/2024 12:14

I think it's a really odd request and a bit cheeky. I wouldn't dream of using my neighbours shower.
I'm assuming she can still wash using hot water from a kettle or go to a friend or relative. Just say no, its not convenient for me right now.

The OP has addressed the friend or relative thing.
Sure, she could boil endless kettles and have a strip-wash like in the 40s. Or the OP could do her a little favour.

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:30

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:25

No one said what would Jesus do. That is spectacular point-missing.

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That was a joke….

Bignanna · 08/11/2024 14:28

Perhaps the OP is worried that the neighbour might have very long showers, or not clean up afterwards. If the neighbour still has a water supply, which I presume she has, as she has not asked to keep using the loo, then surely a wash at the sink would suffice until her shower is working again? Plenty of people do that anyway!

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:27

HowIsItNovemberAlready · 08/11/2024 11:32

Out of all these people that are so helpful, one must live near OP. Tell us where you are OP, I'm sure you'll be inundated with offers of showers that your neighbour can use. 😉

In all seriousness, if the neighbour turned out to be near me I'd absolutely say yes. Bet I'm not the only one either.

downwindofyou · 08/11/2024 14:27

Wellalright · 07/11/2024 23:59

Personally I find it amazing she has even asked to do this!
I'm afraid I find it really quite cheeky to ask this of a neighbour. And especially a neighbour who is just a casual acquaintance.
I think I would be telling her it isn't really convenient OP. And I wouldn't feel bad about it.

And people lament the end of neighbourhood communities 🙄

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:25

Bippy2024 · 08/11/2024 11:23

Well, at least you're not saying "What would Jesus Do?" I suppose 😂

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No one said what would Jesus do. That is spectacular point-missing.

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:22

Polyp0 · 08/11/2024 11:05

I don't think anyone has said that they are 'afraid' of having someone else use their shower, just that its a little distasteful.

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I dunno, all the 'yuck' sentiments, the imaginings of verrucas and marauding pubes and 'bodily runoff' and the neighbour terrorising the OP with her naked and wet body... I think some people on here are scared. And a bit titillated.

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:20

Polyp0 · 08/11/2024 11:01

Wow! I can't believe the way this thread has gone - there's no way I'd want a naked neighbour and their bodily run off in my flat, and I am a perfectly friendly and helpful person!

naked neighbour
bodily run off

Purely factual language, though, eh. Not emotive or lurid at all.

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:19

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:15

Yeah, she asked to borrow the shower, not film a porn movie 🙄

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Although a lot of people are fine with their neighbours pubes !

Does that inculde the ones stuck to the ceiling, ( couldn’t resist ) I’m guessing for some anything goes.

So gross

starfishmummy · 08/11/2024 14:18

I guess it depends - if she has a functioning bath as well, then I'd expect her to use that. If not then I'd agree a few times that are convenient to me for her to come round.

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:17

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:14

Bippy you’re on form today 😄

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@Bippy2024 congrats on that 11:25 post too. 🤣🤣

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2024 14:15

TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/11/2024 10:28

never even crossed my mind for a split second to ask any of my neighbors if I could come get naked and wet in their house.

Yeah, she asked to borrow the shower, not film a porn movie 🙄

I'm utterly embarrassed for some of the posters on here who are not only selfish and unhelpful, but they try to justify it with ridiculous hyperbolic posts.

Like the PP who wouldn't want her neighbour's pubes in her shower.

FFS does she clean it with tongue?

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Yeah, she asked to borrow the shower, not film a porn movie 🙄

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:14

Bippy2024 · 08/11/2024 12:42

Did you ask mummy if you could use her internet, from the basement?

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Bippy you’re on form today 😄

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 08/11/2024 14:12

I think it would be a nice neighbourly thing to do to let her use your shower, tbh.

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:06

T1Dmama · 08/11/2024 11:06

I would consider someone I’d walked dogs with etc a friend of sorts. If my neighbour had a shower issue I’d offer her to shower in mine, and I know she’d do the same for me.
last year we had no water for a week (no water at all!)… I was collecting, straining and boiling rain water to wash in…. I’d sit in the shower with a huge bucket of hot water .. wet myself down… lather hair and body then rinse… it wasn’t pleasant but was doable…. Then someone at swimming (my DD swims) said to just sneak off and shower there… she’d only just started there & I felt awful doing it.. but I had the best
shower there & it made me really
appreciate how lucky we are turning on a tap and having clean hot water 😂😂
I would be saying to her that you’re in annual leave next week and don’t really want to commit to times as would like some lay ins. But could maybe help her out a couple of times… this way you’re being kind and offering her the use of the shower once or twice without commuting to the whole lot

You should check out the thread on the lady who looked after someone’s dog for 5 days when they couldn’t find a kennels.
She knew her because they had kids at the same school and walked their dogs together .

That particular dog walking friend turned out to have an unusual take on life and took the p….

StandingSideBySide · 08/11/2024 14:02

Brefugee · 08/11/2024 09:46

i asume when i read about people leaving pubes in the shower it is because that is how they, themselves, leave the shower after use.

I have never ever left a shower in a condition that i wouldn't want to step into myself.

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I spoke about pubes in the shower and not because I and my family don’t clean it very well after each use……thankyou
but because
Ive watched Four in a Bed 🤢

IcyLilacZebra · 08/11/2024 13:59

It's your home it's your choice personally I wouldn't allow them to because I don't like randoms in my house don't feel obligated to let her use it just because she asked say sorry no I don't feel comfortable with it and re direct her to somewhere like a leisure centre that may have showers she can use

godmum56 · 08/11/2024 13:55

T1Dmama · 08/11/2024 11:06

I would consider someone I’d walked dogs with etc a friend of sorts. If my neighbour had a shower issue I’d offer her to shower in mine, and I know she’d do the same for me.
last year we had no water for a week (no water at all!)… I was collecting, straining and boiling rain water to wash in…. I’d sit in the shower with a huge bucket of hot water .. wet myself down… lather hair and body then rinse… it wasn’t pleasant but was doable…. Then someone at swimming (my DD swims) said to just sneak off and shower there… she’d only just started there & I felt awful doing it.. but I had the best
shower there & it made me really
appreciate how lucky we are turning on a tap and having clean hot water 😂😂
I would be saying to her that you’re in annual leave next week and don’t really want to commit to times as would like some lay ins. But could maybe help her out a couple of times… this way you’re being kind and offering her the use of the shower once or twice without commuting to the whole lot

Same here. It was when a lot of the South had problems due to heavy rain. Before that I had times of no hot water and/or no bathroom because of stuff being done in the house. As you say, not ideal but doable and definitely doable if you have on tap hot water. I think actually, the way that the neighbour has asked is a bit CF. Mentioning the problem and hoping to get an offer is one thing....asking could she possibly use the shower ONCE is ok I think, But "can I use your shower every other day until mine is fixed?" is a bit CF and from what the OP has said, that week will be when a plumber visits and looks at the problem, not when its guaranteed to be fixed. I don't think the situation of living in a place with extreme water shortage is comparable...its kind of self selecting because you wouldn't go live there if it was an issue.