to not let neighbour use my shower!

43 and I wouldn’t mind, have actually had this happen and in all my adult life I wouldn’t have minded either. My neighbours are 25 and 26, and in their 60s the other side.

No, helping out doesn't involve offering! What a mad thing to think.

it's not cheeky to ASK. Another weird thing to think.

well, that's up to you what you would/wouldn't do. But it doesn't mean we all have to have such cold relationships with our families,friends & neighbours.

Well I'm actually older generation.
And we were brought up to be fiercely independent .
And being independent means not imposing on other people.
This woman is imposing.

I don’t consider myself a particularly neighbourly person but even I would
be fine with this

I'd say yes, but not necessarily every other day. I think every other day will seem like too much at the end of two or three weeks. If I was in her shoes I'd have asked for a couple of times a week and made other arrangements elsewhere.

Make it at a time to suit you, OP, and feel good about being a kind neighbour. If your dog needs walking or looking after it sounds as if you'll have the solution on your doorstep.

I'm pretty old now and come from a time when we didn't have a bath or shower every day or two but strip washed with soap and a flannel at the bathroom sink and washed our hair with jugs of water in the bath. I don't know why she can't cope for a couple of weeks like this.

This is so (f*ing) cheeky of her to ask, all the generous souls saying how unkind / uncharitable etc. you are 😅… I sincerely doubt that these people would gladly allow this imposition. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, I would (politely) say so. She can use the shower at a local gym or leisure centre, they are everywhere 🛀

YABU. Let her have her shower. She wouldn’t have asked if she wasn’t stuck.

If your shower breaks, you flannel wash, wet wipe or book a session at the swimming pool. Ask me how I know!

Maybe a good week to have a terrible IBS flare up? You've never mentioned it before as you are terribly embarrassed about it.

Or, maybe your DH has a IBS flareup?

No way would I let a neighbour put their bare trotters in my shower...... verrucas, athletes foot, pubes in the plug hole- shudder!

Volunteering doesn't get you off the hook for nor not being a kind person the rest of the time.

Helping out implies offering. If OP had offered that's entirely different. But this woman asked. And that's cheek.

What rubbish. Helping doesn't imply offering: you can ask for help too.
At least you used to be able to in less selfish times.

Our neighbours on both sides have used my shower when they had their bathrooms redone. When we had ours redone we used theirs, on alternate days. All at an agreed time.

When next door’s washing machine broke when their baby was a newborn, we did their laundry for them until they could arrange for a replacement, which was a matter of days.

Good neighbours are very hard to find. You can be a good neighbour and rarely your neighbours. Surely life is so much easier if we can help each other out on the odd occasion we need it?

My lovely neighbour let me do this when I had to wait for a boiler issue. I hugely appreciated it. I took everything I needed. Did a speedy shower, gave everything a quick wipe with spray afterwards and left super fast. It made a stressful time slightly easier that I could get clean for work etc. Honestly you'll make a huge difference to her and she really wouldn't have asked if there was any other way.

same neighbour needed an emergency migraine prescription from some random place at gone 11 one night and I was more than willing to put myself out.

It's nice to help if you can. Just be specific and say, between 6:30-8 is a no for kids blah blah. So can you be around no later than 6 (or whatever time suits you) b

why should she impose on you, bit cheeky imo @NavyOrca?

Does she not have a bath?

Will she have no hot water, at all?

eta; and you are certainly not being mean

Neighbourly mutual support goes a long way in oiling the wheels of life. I guarantee you’ll want a favour from her one day.

I’ve used neighbour’s washing machines and vice versa. I’m very private and wouldn’t love the idea of neighbours using my shower, but I’d let them. It’s horrible not being able to shower and as she doesn’t have any family nearby I think it’d be mean not to let her.

55

Ooh how generous. 😂😂 nothing like making someone welcome.

Helping out implies offering. If OP had offered that's entirely different. But this woman asked. And that's cheek.

If it was a case of the woman's loo being out of order I would of course let her use my loo if she asked. That is common decency.
But to ask to use the shower when she has other options - wash hand basin, shower facility at local swimming pool or gym for instance is just down right cheeky.
I wouldn't even ask a relative ir friend let alone a neighbour who was only an acquaintance. I wouldn't impose.

👏🏻👏🏻

except I don't think it's irrational for the threads to make you cross. So many stupid posts.

I would agree to every other day at X time for 10 minutes.

It’s not worth the bad feeling it would create by saying no so I would say yes if it were me. Are you sure she’s not on mumsnet OP? You might want to consider getting this post taken down as it’s on AIBU which is quite popular and she would easily guess this post is about her if she saw it.

Of course it will become frosty between you, it would be very spiteful not to help her especially when she doesn't have anyone else and probably felt awful asking. I think maintaining a harmonious neighbour relationship is a good thing, you could need a favour next.

You should also have a good think about your values as a person! You sound extremely unkind and selfish.