to not let neighbour use my shower!

It's winter and it's cold. The reality of getting out of bed, putting clothes and jacket on, having a shower in someone
else's house, then getting wrapped up again to go home to finish everything else would become a PITA for her pretty quickly.

You could raise the points above suggest a 'Bucket and bowl' shower? It would be a lot easier for her. Millions do it and working aboard for 2 years with a unreliable water supply, I honestly ended up just as clean. Do this when ours breaks now.

Only difference was there I had to pour a cap of Dettol into the water to kill what ever lurked in the Typhoidy water :S

I was pointing out why I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. As other PPs have also done.
Others have blown my comment out of all proportion.

Plus I know cleaners have done a good job because I can see they have. If there was ‘stuff’ everywhere I’d see it. You get what you pay for …a professional clean. To me, a few strange hairs would be gross.

Each to their own

Doesn't she have a bath tub!

Think you’re missing the point. No offence. I’m not concerned about my own hygiene standards I would be concerned about a neighbours that I hardly knew. OP stated she hardly knows this neighbour.

I've not read every single post, but the general response seems to be for you to "not be selfish" and to allow the neighbour to use your shower.

I would imagine you've posted, because if you were in the same position, you wouldn't dream of asking, but just cope with an at the sink wash down for the amount of days that the shower could be used.

Having read most of the thread, I think I would agree this favour, if only for the sake of good relations.

I would also ask that the shower be cleaned up after her session, it would be an imposition for you to have to do that.

For the record, I don't think you're mean or selfish, I just think you were taken by surprise, and not sure how to react.

I also agree that the shower should be taken at your convenience, and if she's a decent sort, she'd be more than happy with that offer.

Do be careful that this request (if met) doesn't lead to any cheeky fuckery in future.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting the bathroom in a hotel isn’t cleaned. I think they’re suggesting that you would surely clean your own bathroom?! If you clean it after use, it’s no different to a hotel. If you don’t, you’re the one with the poor hygiene!

Volunteering doesn’t make you a good person… it’s your day to day behaviours and how you treat others. Your post shows that you’re not willing to slightly inconvenience yourself to make a huge difference to someone else who is in a bind. That says a lot more about your character than volunteering.

I’m an introvert and so would immensely dislike having to have a neighbour over every other day but I couldn’t say no to a request like this from someone in need who I new had no other options. For those saying she can have a flannel wash, is she supposed to not wash her hair for 2 weeks?

I’d be relieved it’s happened when you’re off work so you don’t have to worry about this when you’re trying to rush out in the morning or get home exhausted - it’s surely more convenient that you have nothing else on all week.

As others have suggested, give her a time slot that suits you, let her in and point her to the bathroom and tell her to let herself out when she’s done so it’s clear you don’t want to socialise and are busy - you could even go back to bed. I imagine she’ll be relived as I’m sure she won’t want to hang around chatting to you every time she’s just had a shower!

Opening the door and letting someone in your bathroom every other day is a very minor inconvenience surely?

That's basically what I did when I was having both bathrooms remodeled at the same time during Covid. Just replace garden with kitchen. And this went on for many weeks. I can't imagine a situation where I would ask a neighbor/casual acquaintance to take a shower at their house.

I responded to that comment earlier
As I said I would use a hotel that cleaned the bathrooms properly

I wouldn’t use a hotel where people shared the bathrooms

All my family are dead. When they were alive the houses were too small for us to stay over anyway so we stayed nearby in hotels that cleaned the bathrooms.
When I was younger I used the family bathroom, we cleaned it, they are family.

When I was at Uni I had my own shower

Tbh I’m amazed about that PPs comment as who goes on holiday and washes in a bathroom used by others that hasn’t been cleaned. Do many hotels really never clean after previous guests? !

So you are new in the area as in new neighbour yourself.

id find this cheeky then as there is other neighbours she could of asked surely but chose the new one mmmmm

I can’t believe the replies here! I think it’s beyond cheeky to ask this of someone! When my shower broke, I bought a camping shower and just hung it up in my shower. When it wasn’t fixed within a few days, I went and had my hair washed at a local salon.

It genuinely wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask to use the neighbours shower.

Wow, a neighbour is genuinely in need of something basic but important and you want to say no for zero reason whatsoever.
Not very, well, neighbourly, is it?!
Decent society has well and truly gone down the plughole.
Scuse the pun.

Making own choices and boundaries are a personal issue. I addressed in a previous post.

What I don't get is posting stuff like "neighbours dead hair, skin and whatever else would give me the creeps" when, as another poster said, you could never then shower in a hotel or during family holidays using a shower that's not your own.

There is big dissonance to this post, making a few of us questioning it.

I don’t like to think that’s the case ( although I see what you mean ) I prefer to think it’s just peoples right to make their own choices.

In MN some people talk shit which is beyond ridiculous.

🤣🤣🤣
blimey MNs on here really don’t like different opinions do they 🙃

Obviously not. They only shower in their own home and never go on holidays o stay a few days with family.

Unless they don't shower until they get home which is beyond grim.

I tend to use hotels that are sure to be spotless

Hotels also aren’t my personal space

Like a previous poster I would stress for two weeks about this. I wouldn’t be able to relax wondering when / if they turn up. Will they judge my property. Will the water be hot enough. Will they deep clean after use. Have I deep cleaned enough. The anxiety would be constant.

Like I said we didn’t even have running water in Ireland and were able to wash.

Yes I agree with this. Say yes but with boundaries in place. I'm learning a lot about boundaries and sometimes saying yes or no doesn't have to be all or nothing.

@pinkappleorpineapple

I didn't say she had to say yes, I said her volunteering is irrelevant.

I’m afraid a neighbours dead hair, skin and whatever else would give me the creeps.

Do you use showers in hotels?

Does the dead hair, skin and whatever else from previous guests give you the creeps also?

Can't she just wash at the sink for a couple of weeks, and wash her hair under the tap?
I've done that before when the boiler broke. Personally, I would never ask a neighbour if I could do this, unless we were really good friends, and even then, it would probably just be to use it once a week.

Excellent post, really interesting could only come from a Gryffindor😁
OP then is a Guesser, as am I

I hope you read that Guardian article OP!

She can wash, she has water. She just wants a nice hot shower instead, at her neighbour's inconvenience.