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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not let neighbour use my shower!

788 replies

NavyOrca · 07/11/2024 23:49

Next door neighbour messaged me earlier. Her shower has broken and she can’t get anyone to come out and fix it until the week after next. She asked if she could ‘pop in’ to use ours every other day.

I don’t want her to! I’ve got most of next week off work and plan to be at home a lot, doing not much at all, after a crazy busy time lately. I don’t want to worry about somebody coming to have a shower!

For context - I get on with her absolutely fine. We chat now and again and have walked our dogs together a few times in the past.. wouldn’t say we are especially close though.

AIBU to say no to this request? I know that she moved to the area for work and none of her family/friends are around here. So I might be her only option and I do feel bad about this.

OP posts:
homelovingalme · 08/11/2024 06:54

I would feel just the same as OP.
And I wouldn't dream of asking a neighbour can I shower in their house. Family or close friends, fine. The woman's shower is only gonna be out of action for a short time, can't she just have a stand up sink wash?!

urbanflower81 · 08/11/2024 06:54

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DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:54

KateDelRick · 08/11/2024 06:48

Quite, @user1497787065 and @RampantIvy .
It's as if no one can do anything for anyone else even if it involves a mild inconvenience. It's a favour.

The thing is, for some folk, someone showering in your bathroom is definitely more than a minor inconvenience. 🫣

urbanflower81 · 08/11/2024 06:52

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babyproblems · 08/11/2024 06:52

I’d let her but agree a specific time that works for you. You never know you might need similar one day! Great to have good neighbours. She probably feels awful having to ask. x

DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:51

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OP isn't the one being 'an arse'.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:51

OhDearMuriel · 08/11/2024 06:43

I would help her, as it's really not worth losing a good neighbour over.

I completely understand how it's inconvenient for you, but you will come across as very mean if you don't let her.

If the neughbour is 'lost' just because OP cannot accommodate this then I'm not sure she's a great neighbour either.

SoozyWoozy5 · 08/11/2024 06:50

I honestly wouldn’t have an issue with this..

KateDelRick · 08/11/2024 06:49

fdwthuj · 08/11/2024 06:46

We had no shower for a month
We went to the gym daily to shower.
Suggest this

Really?
I have never been to a gym in my life, let alone been a member. It's possible she's the same.

KateDelRick · 08/11/2024 06:48

Quite, @user1497787065 and @RampantIvy .
It's as if no one can do anything for anyone else even if it involves a mild inconvenience. It's a favour.

fdwthuj · 08/11/2024 06:47

Local authority gym. Pay as you go

fdwthuj · 08/11/2024 06:46

We had no shower for a month
We went to the gym daily to shower.
Suggest this

Jifmicroliquid · 08/11/2024 06:46

Help her out. You might need help from her one day.

user1497787065 · 08/11/2024 06:46

MN never fails to astound me. This woman is asking to use a shower every other day. She has moved into the area for work so presumably knows a small number of people. She's asking for a shower not a three course meal. How can this cause inconvenience or worry?

I would do anything I could to help someone out if need be.

RampantIvy · 08/11/2024 06:45

I love the way posters assume that the neighbour is a member of a gym.

If the neighbour still has hot water why can't she have a bath instead? Or doesn't she own a bath?

Either way, yes, I would allow her to use my shower. A few weeks ago my washing machine broke down. I am extremely fortunate that I not only get on with my neighbours but am friends with them. Two different sets of neighbours let me use their washing machines until I could get a new one delivered a couple of days later - no launderettes round here.

twentysevendresses · 08/11/2024 06:44

TMGM · 07/11/2024 23:55

Could you tell her something like it’s really bad timing as your hot water will be spotty as you’re doing a bit of work in your own home? Or unfortunately your own hot water isn’t working properly at the moment… Not very honest but it might help avoid bad feelings.

Don't be ridiculous!! 🤦‍♀️

muddyford · 08/11/2024 06:44

I had to ask this favour of a neighbour. Literally showered, wrapped bathsheet round me, dressing gown on top, beetled home. Generous thank you present once it was all over. It's a shower not a kidney.

OhDearMuriel · 08/11/2024 06:43

I would help her, as it's really not worth losing a good neighbour over.

I completely understand how it's inconvenient for you, but you will come across as very mean if you don't let her.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:42

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No, she isn't.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:42

EdithStourton · 08/11/2024 06:36

Of course you say yes.
Arrange a mutually convenient time. If you don't want her in there for hours just drop in a comment about 'of course, no problem, a shower only takes a few minutes anyway'.

You might make a new friend, you never know.

Of course OP says whatever she feels comfortable with. If she's asking then that suggests she's struggling with yes being the 'of course' option.

WYorkshireRose · 08/11/2024 06:41

I wouldn't be particularly happy about it, but I can't imagine saying no in these circumstances.

iamtheblcksheep · 08/11/2024 06:40

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Pippy2022 · 08/11/2024 06:40

It would be mean to say no. You never know, you might both bond over this and develop a closer friendship. Be neighbourly and say yes with specific times.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:40

KateDelRick · 08/11/2024 06:37

The cost is your first concern? If you're on UC, then I feel sorry that you couldn't even support someone in this way because you're too poor.
However, in my experience, living in poorer areas has meant that people help and support each other more.

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What a horrible and assuming reply.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 08/11/2024 06:39

R053 · 08/11/2024 06:29

OK, she can just say “no”, can’t she? But as you can see from the thread plenty of us wouldn’t have an issue with lending our shower and thus it’s not unreasonable for a neighbour to ask for help.

If people feel uncomfortable saying “no” then that is their concern to deal with.

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Neighbour shouldn't have asked and put OP in awkward position, to be quite frank.