to not let neighbour use my shower!

I am not keen on having people in my personal space but I think I would help a nice neighbour asking for a quick shower for a limited period of time. Poor lady, not being able to shower is so horrid. When we had our only bathroom replaced a few years ago a few nearby friends and neighbours offered us the option to pop in to theirs and I was so grateful.

I think offering her a fixed time slot is good, then you won't be tense not knowing when she might want to pop round and you can time things to make sure there is enough hot water so it doesn't inconvenience anything you want to do.

I hope she won't take the piss but it doesn't sound like it as she's only asking for every other day.

Oh my goodness I can’t believe some wouldn’t help out their neighbour in a tight spot. Because it’s a minor inconvenience. She’s asking for a 10 minute shower not to move in. What’s wrong with people-this is how humans have been for centuries-helping each other out.

Well that's fair enough but I would feel differently.
I never want to lose the sense of community my neighbours have.
My older disabled neighbour is on his own and while we're not rich by any stretch, when he was down on his luck before his UC was sorted he had very little food. There was always a warm plate offered to him, food for his dog and a few bits sent in. I wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing he was going without and we were able to help. I know it's not quite the same as a shower but it's the feeling safe (which goes both ways) knowing someone is there to help. Turns out he was a sound engineer in the 80s and 90s and when my DH inherited a reel to reel from his uncle that seemed to be broken, he popped in to have a look, and was able to fix it.

When we had a new bathroom fitted, we put a paddling pool in the kitchen and used a big plastic jug to pour water over our heads. We lathered up and then rinsed the soap off.

I would. It's not like you've never had interaction. If it's every other day for 10.minutes it's not too intrusive.

Depends on the neighbour. We had one round for dinner most weeks, my Dh hauled her out of the bath (in her house) one day when she couldn’t get out, fortunately her son was there. The other neighbour, just no, although they’d never ask. I’d find it extraordinarily cheeky.

I wonder if my judgement is clouded by having the most amazing neighbours, I couldn’t say no to them. They have ended up being closer to us than family and this has come from their kindness and thoughtfulness from day one.

I would be fine with my neighbour showering for a short number of days. I would give her a time slot each day.

You are entitled to not wish to extend her the use of your shower.

Try being good neighbourly.

Let your neighbour use your shower but only at a set time each second day for two weeks.

Work out a suitable and agreeable half hour time slot for her to use the shower.

Also give her information about local pools that she could use to shower on the other days.
ie: Name, opening hours and prices for entry.
Then she has options if she really needs to shower more frequently.

YABVVU. A little kindness costs nothing. What is wrong with people?!

Why can’t she use a bucket and a pail?
I’d not even ask a close neighbour for this favour tbh, unless i was visiting and staying in their home. I’d not be comfortable with it.

I'm not being nasty. I'm posting an opinion.
"That's a shame" is not the same as shaming a person.
Read the post. Don't get personal and unpleasant

I wonder if the neighbour is on here reading this?

Or the DM?

I'm one of those people who never asks for favours. I find my own way. Not necessarily a virtue but I'd never ask this. If my neighbours asked me I'd probably say, "You know that noise that's been a problem for over a year due to your refusal to move the source of the noise away from my window, but you said it wasn't possible? Bye."

If it was a neighbour who I'm on more friendly than neighbourly terms with and they were truly stuck then it wouldn't bother me because my shower room is next to my back door. I also have a key safe so they wouldn't disturb me. However they'd have to be given a time slot so that they don't turn up when I'm using it.

In similar circumstances my neighbour had me and three kids round daily for a week. I put up a shelf for her last week - we have catch ups over a cuppa now and then and like each other. I am lucky to have such an ace neighbour.

What's this got to do with the current thread? Ask on the other thread if you're interested.

It's not mean.
People can have different reasons for doing or not doing things.

It's not 'a shame'.
We're all different.
If someone is happy doing this, then do it. If someone isn't happy doing this, then don't do it.
No need for anyone to judge, shame or be nasty to another poster.

I wouldn’t hesitate to do this in a spirit of neighbourliness and cooperation.
you never know when you might need a favour back.

As long as she used her own towel and shower gel etc I'd let her, never know if you might need her help in future.

Also Mumsnet: varied opinions from different posters.

I would do it. It costs nothing to be kind and neighbourly.

Mumsnet: I never open the door to anyone ever.

Also Mumsnet: you must let a stranger come in to shower.

I've had similar issues a few times and it would never occur to me to ask a neighbour, I drive to a friend's house (and alternate friends so I don't piss them off).

I have autism and this request would send me into a tailspin. However I’d try and do it because I try to be part of a community. I may need a similar favour though I’d be unlikely to get the courage to ask.

You haven’t mentioned an issue like that so I think you are being a bit mean

Well, that's a shame. They'll have the door closed and won't take long.
It's life, really, getting on with others like this.