to not let neighbour use my shower!

With 7 people in my household, shower time is already competitive. I'd only be able to offer very limited time and slots. I'd probably say something like, "With two adults and five teens in his household, there's a lot of demand for the bathroom. You are welcome to use it between 7-7.30pm Monday and Friday and 11.30am Wednesday for the two weeks." Then they make it work or find another option.

Yabu. Our hot water failed the week we moved in. I was very grateful to my neighbour for letting me use her shower. She offered. You just say what time the shower be free. Can't see the issue. I'd let a neighbour.

I would let her.

I have a plumber coming in today to look at my suddenly slow draining shower and I am dreading to hear that this will need extensive work...would be delighted if I knew I could rely on my neighbour if I need to rip the whole thing off and it is out of use for a couple of days...

Also, think long term. You might also need the good will of your neighbour one day.

YANBU I can’t believe she asked! Presumably she still has water and can still wash.

It's something that I'd never actually ask to do myself and being expected to commit to every other day for 2 weeks seems a bit much. There's loads of favours I would just instinctively do right away for people but this one gives me pause.

Also my neighbour might not be as keen to ask me because currently my only working shower is literally in my bedroom and there's no door to stop the cat watching you. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had a different layout in my house.

You don't understand that we're not all the same or living in exactly the same circumstances?

I have and I'd have gone to the public pool, paid my single entry, and used their changing room showers.

I’m so sorry to hear about your shower! I know how stressful that can be. I’ve got a busy week ahead and will be at home quite a bit, so I’m not sure I’d be the best option for you right now. But I hope you can find a temporary fix soon! Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help in the meantime.

What would you suggest this woman does instead? Have you ever lived somewhere miles from anyone who isn't a "casual acquaintance "?

I would need to be in a really desperate situation before I would ask a neighbour this, so I'd imagine she might well be desperate if she's asking.

If every other day wouldn't be feasible for you, could you talk through with her about other options - would twice a week at pre-agreed times be do-able? A flannel wash every day plus two showers at yours plus maybe one trip to a gym/similar could get her through the next couple of weeks. It might not be enjoyable for her, but would probably meet basic hygiene requirements in her emergency situation.

Saying no is of course your right, but might not be the most politically sensible course of action. You're going to see this person pretty regularly, you may need to ask her for help in the future... And she would probably remember if you said no when she needed help (and that she then saw that you were at home during that time - doing not much but just not wanting her around).

We lost gas for about a week last year. People in our village were falling over themselves to offer out their shower.

I am not a people person but this isn’t a complete strange, I can’t see the big deal.

Has she not got a bath? I’d not ask this, but I would feel like I couldn’t say no either, very awkward. I think I’d do the time slot thing. I’d say sure, but It needs ti be between 8-8.30 every morning as I have a lot of stuff ti be getting on with and will be in and out,

It's not kind to call people weirdos, you get that, right?

This. 100%.

You reap what you sow. Of course you can say no - it’s your shower. But then please hope you never need any help from
her in the future.

Or just be kind.

I really don't see why you wouldn't, but then, one of our neighbours have used our shower and another our washing machine when theirs have been broken.

Ah one of those AIBu posts where the OP is only looking for validation .
I agree with the majority and would let my neighbour use my shower in the circumstances.
You never know when you might need some help in the future

Maybe OP is ND? I am and understood where she was coming from immediately.
Sorry, OP, not labelling you as I don't know!
I think it's batshit that so many people are going nuts over any hesitation or opposition to acquiescing to the shower request.
You would just cope, wouldn't you? I mean, with having a wash! I would personally find that much less stressful and much less hassle than hoofing it round to a neighbour's private space to shower in an unfamiliar situation.
So many things I would do as a neighbour or wouldn't mind, but as a relative stranger, asking to shower in someone's house, I frankly find just fucking weird. Imagining me going and doing that 'round here' 😳😂 And no way would anyone round here come and ask.
But yeah, if you're good friends with your neighbours, like family, that's different and in that case, fine!

I do find the prevailing attitude of entitlement (to a shower) on this thread strange. If a neighbour I didn't know well had some physical problem(s) where they actually HAD to have a shower, rather than just strip wash for a week, I'd probably say yes use my shower, but that doesn't seem to be the case for OP neighbour.

It seems really unkind to just say no but I do think you need to put boundaries in place.

Just explain that you have a lot on over the next few weeks but if she’s OK to use it between X and y times that’s fine.

I also don’t think volunteering necessarily makes you a kind person. It’s a bit sad that the only thing that is making you think that you might soften is the impact on you.

Right bunch of weirdos here.

I'm autistic and introverted and I hate people in my house. I'd still let my neighbour use my shower!

I would hate to ask a neighbour. I would just do a strip wash with a kettle of boiling water and use dry shampoo.

I w d let them though.