to not let neighbour use my shower!

Also, she needs to get another plumber, you dont wait 2 weeks for a plumber!

There’s some miseries on this thread

A neighbour asked me this favour once (similar relationship: very pleasant, quick chats when we bumped into each other etc, not friends friends) and I could see how awkward she found it to ask, even though for me it was no big deal and I was happy to say yes. It might be costing your neighbour a lot to ask you this.

You can give her a time slot that suits you, so you feel in control and won’t ever feel ambushed. Depending on the time, just explain that you’re off work and having lie-ins/a leisurely week, so you may not see each other, so she knows the score. She might be dreading having to make small talk every time she comes in too, so it might be a relief!

Ultimately, unless a neighbour is irredeemably appalling, it’s a relationship that’s worth allowing a bit of give and take. You never know when you might need to ask something of them.

I would not dream of asking a neighbour to use their shower - if the shower was broken I would use the bath, if no bath I would ask family or close friends even though it would be a 30 min drive each way.

If you really don’t want to do it, that’s totally fine. Just tell her you have a veruca you’re struggling to get rid of and you would be worried about giving it to her. Completely believable and won’t damage the relationship.

I wouldn't ask neighbour. But it is not exactly an outrageous question. Sounds like she asked and is not demanding or hasn't taken no for an answer. Some people are just neighbourly eith different definition and when op says no she'll find an alternative. If you don't want to help the neighbour with this, it is fine. But some of these responses seem very disproportioned.

Also whatever you do, do not suggest any of the alternatives offered here unless asked.

LOL

She has hot water

There is no chance I'd have neighbours use our shower. She is cheeky to ask imo.

She can strip wash and use a jug over the sink to wash hair like we all managed to in the old days.

Just reply "that should be fine. mornings/evenings are better for me. Let's agree a time that's good and I'll make sure there's enough hot water'.

Then you'll be doing a good deed AND ensuring it doesn't interfere with your leisure time too much.

I've been in the position of having no water - we had a burst in the pipe from the mains which flooded our cellar. A neighbour who I chatted to regularly offered use of their shower. It was a godsend and I still think how kind it was of them now. JDI.

OP, you are not selfish or unkind for saying No. If this request is out of your comfort zone then don't do it. I would not allow a neighbour that I am not friends with to use my bathroom neither would I ask to use a neighbours bathroom.

If it was a couple of times it wouldn't be a huge ask, but potentially a couple of weeks would also make me hesitant to say yes. We were without a boiler for a couple of weeks (I also had a broken ankle at the time) and we made do with boiling a kettle and using a camping shower whilst standing in the bath and gym/service station showers.

My neighbours have been incredibly inconsiderate, so they can expect that to be reciprocated too. I'd help them if they had a medical emergency or something, but they damaged that relationship that was previous good.

I'm guessing she doesn't have a bath that she could either use to bathe or attach a shower to the taps?

Absolutely this. I wouldn't have had to think twice. Yeah, there's always the risk that down the line she won't help when you need a favour, but what a terrible way to think, to believe everything must be reciprocated and you can't just be nice. Like others say, work something out to minimise the impact on your 'me' time and do the nice thing

I despair at this kind of thread. It isn't a huge ask.
Just be kind FFS.

I’m trying to think if I were in the same circumstances as this woman if I would ask the same favour of a neighbour. And I really can’t see me asking any of them - and I get on well with my neighbours, having lived here 25 years.

However, if my neighbours knew I was in this predicament, I’m pretty sure they would all make the offer of using their facilities.

I’d prefer to go to the local pool personally. The thought of, what, going round in a dressing gown, crap wet hair, all steamy faced, no make up…. Ooh cringe.

Suggest she gets a solar shower - you can get them for £10 on Amazon. Fill it with a kettle of boiing water and top up with cold and give it a good slake

I agree the neighbour has a cheek to ask. It wouldn’t occur to me. I would wash at the sink or have baths instead.

I’d be happy to let any pleasant neighbour use ours - as long as they didn’t want to come at the crack of dawn, and I knew the time in advance.

Very neighbourly (not)

Was that meant to sound clever?

Not wanting to is a valid reason.