to not let neighbour use my shower!

i asume when i read about people leaving pubes in the shower it is because that is how they, themselves, leave the shower after use.

I have never ever left a shower in a condition that i wouldn't want to step into myself.

I don't quite follow. Did I misunderstand? I thought you were doing reductio ad absurdum and saying that, if people will let one individual use their shower, it follows that they would/should let a whole family do so too.
If I'm wrong I apologise.

It gets the hose again...

😁

My boiler was turned off by housing as was leaking carbon monoxide... it took just over 3 weeks for parts and to be done... during this time I boiled the kettle for small washes or used cold water and I had to wash at local swimming pool. I have no one to ask so there are ways to wash without asking another person. Xx

I'd give her a time that would be better for you and ask her not to spend ages in there, but I couldn't say no completely.

Sorry if its already been mentioned, but does the neighbour have a bath? She can get a shower attachment to connect to the taps, so she can shower herself in the bath to wash her hair.

Like a PP said there are certainly some weirdos on this thread.

That's a bit of an offensive stereotype. I live in London and am firmly on the 'of course she can use the shower' side.

well you could ask me - for several children and a DH i'd be less happy about it, but at least once or twice a week for a max of 30 minutes for the kids.

Bucket shower in the bath for the adults in this scenario.

This place is batshit a lot of the time. Never answer the phone or door. Totally ignore all neighbours at all times. Are we populated by Thatcher's "no such thing as society" Children here?

Sadly for your argument, no, I'm female.
Most of the anti-shower posts on here are not people saying they wouldn't feel safe/need to maintain boundaries. They're just saying the neighbour is being cheeky/imposing, or that because people decades ago used to sluice themselves down in a tin bath or whatever then she should be happy to do that.

Personally I’d go to the leisure centre. But if my neighbour asked I’d let them, I’d probably just pop out for half an hour. It’s not a huge ask IMO.

Yes.
I would, too.

I feel like this one of those north/south UK things where if you are born north of Birmingham then it's a totally normal request and of course you'd help a neighbour out.

But if you are south of Birmingham, then to ask is a disgusting imposition deserving of lifelong social banishment.

I don't understand this. Can you explain why your argument about selfishness using the comparison of being sent £500 is meaningful? Genuinely, I'd like to understand.

What is bad about being generous and warm when someone you get on with needs a small favour from you which would make their life much easier? You are not obliged to do it, but is that really how people draw their boundaries? Good relationships and strengthening friendships are good things. I truly don't understand.

Believe me, I get you. I've had two lots of neighbours who I honestly would not piss on if they were on fire, much less let use my shower. Luckily, I've had many more with whom I've had lovely or at least civil relationships.

We let our neighbours (not even our immediate neighbours) use our bathroom whilst theirs was being replaced - that was the couple and their young child. It never even occurred to me to say no.

It's a relatively easy favour for you - you don't have to physically do much beyond making sure your bathroom is clean/tidy! Yet will win you lots of brownie points in the good neighbour books... and refusing will definitely be remembered so don't be surprised if you suddenly find none of your neighbours taking parcels in for you, prepared to water your plants/feed the cat if you are going away.... or be prepared to let you use their shower if you suddenly find yourself without one!

Going through such unpleasantness as washing at the sink or having a bath?

If the water was off, the electricity was off fine I'd let a neighbour use a shower as they would be desperate and have no alternatives but if a shower is broken and they have options then no.

Or you assuming that people have enough money to pay for extra showers?
What you are missing is that people are allowed their own boundaries of what's acceptable to them
Are you a man@MarkWithaC ?
You might want to have a think about how telling women they are wrong, miseries etc at maintaining their own boundaries in their own home comes across

Clue -not good

In your opinion.

I can't believe you'd say no honestly - what a world we live in!

So what's the problem with the neighbour? You can give her a specific time so she doesn't interrupt your work, you can make it clear you're busy so she doesn't hang around disturbing you. Chances are you'll get your shower cleaned for free. Win-win.

Fine, but then your argument about her being selfish is meaningless.

Surely a family needs access to a bathroom more than a single neighbour? Of course you can't say no for all the reasons given in this thread.

I asked for a small adjustment to reduce noise which was excessive. They have declined. They're not awful people but this is enough for me to feel like I'm not doing them any favours. If they had shown some consideration, I would say of course to them using my shower.

If there is no option for a shower outside the home then I guess the neighbours would just have to make do with a bucket, buy a solar shower, or some other option.