to not let neighbour use my shower!

I don’t think she should have asked you and I wouldn’t ask a neighbour. I’ve been in this situation and didn’t even ask close friends down the road as I felt it would be too intrusive- I muddled through with water from the taps for washing. But some people are just quite cheeky.

Anyway, the problem is that she has asked you and there really is no polite way to say no. Do you work from home? I would say I had lots of calls and give her a very specific time - then I’d go out for a walk/coffee at that time. I do understand OP I wouldn’t like this either.

Cool. But if you did ask, or if there wasn't an affordable, local pool nearby, I'd help you out and it wouldn't be the end of the world for either of us.

Regardless, the same principles and rationale for allowing a single neighbour to use a shower apply if your neighbours happen to be a family.

Knew I should have used more emojis! ☺️

I was also born and raised in the SE, and have lived all over and abroad. There are definite trends - though of course a generalisation can only be a generalisation.

Actually I found more pockets of community in London than in other small towns in E/ SE

One person using a shower is not the same in terms of time and resources used, and number of people coming into your house, as a large family.

I'd never actually ask you. I'd take them all to the local pool changing room.

Would you also rather people could say no to things they felt uncomfortable about?

Are you my neighbour? Have we got a friendly acquaintance? Do you have no other friends/family near by who could help share the load a bit? If so then of course I'll help you. It wouldn't be the most convenient thing ever for me and I'd be glad when your shower was fixed, but being without a decent place to wash is horrible. It wouldn't be a problem. Just bring your own towels and shampoo!

The arguments are that it's a perfectly reasonable request, you have to be kind, you scratch their back and maybe one day they'll scratch yours. I don't see how that is different for a family next door. Same principles surely apply?

I wouldnt have asked in her situation, she would have means of being able to wash and wash her hair. However, I wouldn't want someone struggling and if I knew they had no shower for 2 weeks I'd offer mine.

Oh, OK, you ARE making a reductio ad absurdum argument and hoping posters will accept that, if people will let one individual use their shower, it follows that they should let a whole family do so too.

Well, whatever.
But personally I value having sound and friendly relationships with my neighbours so I'm prepared to put myself out a bit on their behalf. It cuts both ways.

Wouldn't be a problem for me...I don't see what the big deal is. She's only going to be using it, what...3/4 times. I'm sure if she brings her own towels/toiletries it won't be too much of an inconvenience. Just make sure she tells you what days she'll need to use it, you tell her the time that it's most convenient for you and you're sorted!

As others have said, it's only about 20 minutes 3/4 times a week for one week...it's not like she's moving in or anything! I'm sure she's just as annoyed (if not moreso) at the inconvenience of having to do a basic hygiene task in someone else's home!

While I wouldn't want the hassle of making sure the bathroom was spotless etc while she was using it, I would help a stuck neighbour, I knew well enough to chat to and go on walks with, out in these circumstances.

Yeah, I know. Obviously if you're using your neighbour's shower you'd check for pubes! Well, I would and you would. Maybe not everyone.

Awesome. I know where go go with my DH and five teens when my shower breaks down. Just be kind, right?

It really isn't.

It is.

What about those of us born in Birmingham?!

TBH I am a southerner through and through (despite Brummie birth!) and I also think it's a completely normal request. We had boiler issues and my neighbour and several friends offered me the use of their showers. Of course you're within rights to say no but it's a bit curmugeonly.

Not everyone has a bath! We replaced ours with a shower as we never used it as a bath.

I would probably say yes but we get on really well with our neighbours. I would give set times though so I could get on with my day. If I had a water meter (I don't so hypothetical) I would probably keep an eye on how long they were in there and maybe mention it if they were in there for ages.

get naked and wet in their house.
Again, lurid or what?

Point is, the neighbour DOES have someone to ask. (or she thought she did...)

I'm sorry but who the fuck asks to do this?

Our boiler was broken for a month with no hot water, never even crossed my mind for a split second to ask any of my neighbors if I could come get naked and wet in their house.

I would happily let any of my neighbours use my shower but I know them all well and I am sure they would do the same for me - they were great when we were having a new kitchen put in.
My ex next door neighbour was an arsehole though so the best I would offer him would be the outside cold water hose

I also agree. I've helped my neighbours out loads of times and offered to do shopping for people, given them lifts, etc but I wouldnt feel comfortable with them showering at my place. It doesnt make me selfish or a horrible person - ignore those posts.

Equally, if my shower went out I'd simply go to the leisure centre and shower there. I wouldnt expect to shower in my neighbours home for almost 2 weeks.