DH is chair of a board of trustees for a charity. I’ve found out that he’s lied over the past few years about how much time he’s been spending with one of the female trustees. It’s dinners, lunches etc with her alone, and he’d be implying he’s been with a group of people, lying about train problems while he’s been chatting for hours with her. I found out he’d invited her to a black tie dinner, asked him directly and he denied it, when I said I had found out, he says she’d been busy and hadn’t gone with him, so it’s apparently not a lie.
I don’t think it’s a physical affair, she sees him as a mentor for her career apparently, but I feel heartbroken to be lied to so persistently. He’s been quite panicky and saying I can’t tell anyone as he’d have to stand down in his role as chair of trustees. I don’t want him to work with her anymore , but he says she’s a good trustee and he wants to continue working with her, that I shouldn’t rock the boat.
We have four DC, two young adult, two are young teens. If it wasn’t for the children I’d leave.
I would like to make his untrustworthiness known to the board. AIBU?