Nursery worker speaking harshly to child

I understand a few concerned parents, sure that asking a child to stop screaming really doesn't sound like a big deal. I think it's true that you've got to be smart and sensitive with your words. I'd try to never speak to any kid like the woman in question. I don't think there's anything wrong with you having raised this point.

While the incident sounds trivial, tone is difficult to convey in text and if you have concerns reporting it is the right thing to do. Trust your instinct is often advised in this type of case.

You need to safe guard. Follow the nursery policy on safeguarding and thank you. I've had to report something I witnessed when a member of staff at a home I visit sometimes hit a resident. The owner of the home phoned up to thank me as they knew something was wrong but no one had said anything. I still visit the home and this was a few years ago now and the resident is still there. No one but the manager and owner knows I reported and that staff member is not working for the company now. Please always report something you worried about.

The worker in question kept asking if the boy ‘just needed a cuddle’ the boy understandably keeps shaking his head and her saying ‘you’re rude’. Same as when he wouldn’t answer a question about his baby sibling, he was told he was rude.

Did you miss this?

A children refusing physical affection / hugs from anyone is not „rude“. And I‘d be very wary of anyone with that kind of mindset!

This is nothing like how I parented my children! How you got that from my post I don't know! My DCs are now in their 20s. Throughout their school life I was told how polite and considerate they were. I must have done something right. They were given boundaries, taught manners, and helped to build resilience and know self-worth.

Also, she should have been trying to help the 2 children to negotiate about the toy and support them to come to a solution. That’s part of her job!

Telling a toddler to “get over it love” it a brusque way is really inappropriate. I might say that to a teenager if it was my own child or nephew/niece, but it’s not the way to speak to a child in your care especially such a young child. I know for a fact that the manager at the nursery my children went to would immediately pull up any staff member speaking to a child like that.
Children are not responsible for adults emotions, if we are irritated by something they do that’s for us to deal with in a mature sensitive way.

Of course the should be taught that adults get irritated by some behaviours but this wasn’t the way to deal with it at all! All behaviour is communication and he’s not even 4 yet. She should have spoken to him kindly and found out what was upsetting him. He needed reassurance and care in a calm way.

No I wouldn't be happy if my DD was spoken to like this. Not acceptable.

OP has obviously noticed the nursery worker being repeatedly negative to one particular child. Good for her wanting to raise it. Some parents do pick on a particular child and think it's fine. Doesn't mean it is.

No id say stop the whining voice and use your words so that we can sort this situation out?

Nobody said she wasn't calm or had lost control of her emotions? Just that she used a firm tone and told the child their whining would give her earache thats perfectly honest?

It sounds like you'd let one child hog a toy for ages and tell the other one to stop whining because you couldn't be bothered to deal with it. Then you'd offer a hug because you couldn't be bothered to actually help them and tell them they were rude if they didn't want one. Also tell them they were rude if they didn't want to talk about a particular subject. That's not good parenting. It's lazy, crap parenting and it's not good for nursery workers either. I wasn't a lazy, crap parent and funnily enough my kids turned out fine. Now young adults.

Exactly. Its not helpful to children if nursery settings are artificial environments where everybody is careful to speak softly and nobody ever points out behaviours to them that won't help them cope in a wider community setting?!
The nonsense is what leads to threads on here where parent is up in arms because their child claims 'the teacher screamed in my face'.... Because the teacher raised their voice /spoke firmly / told them to stop whinging

Speak to your manager in person.
(I’ve also worked in nurseries. This isn’t right).

definitely this!
It's no wonder children have no resilience and can't cope with day to day living if this is a safeguarding issue!
So many children are in full time childcare these days - they need to be treated as a (decent) parent would treat them. I never put up with mine whining all the time.

Totally agree.
The world has gone mad.
Telling a child (not shouting) to stop whining is not a safeguarding issue ffs!

These replies are shocking.

I think she sounds awful and unprofessional. Maybe not cut out for the job if she can't manage her own emotions and stay calm with the children. 100% report it

Is she older by any chance?

I'm glad there's caring nursery workers like you around op.

But for children in a nursery 5 days a week, those staff are in loco parentis they are in these peoples care for potentially 40+ hours a week. Its not realistic or beneficial for those children not to experience the normal range of human emotion and yes from time to time adults will find whiny behaviour irritating. I don't think its right to expect that children cared for in a nursery shouldn't ever hear a cross or annoyed tone of voice while that would be ok occasionally for a child at home with parents?

By their parents yes maybe but not in a regulated & professional setting as a nursery. Behaviours should be dealt with in an appropriate way.

Gosh its no wonder so many kids are poorly behaved now if you think its a huge issue that a child got told to stop whining. She's not shouting at him fgs.

Ive really noticed lately i come across an awful lot of whiny whingy primary school children who will not take no for an answer just keep making that terrible whiny noise when an adult won't give them what they want - someone needed to say stop whining when they were much younger!