Should I include her in my will?

This too! Like if both dead are worth 100k you'd split it between ALL children.

But. The house is hers 😒 that's the main issue. Why is stepdaughter entitled to some of that?

I get this too.

My dad told me he'd never marry my stepmum because he didn't want us to be left with bare minimum. So I was quite aghast when they told me they were getting married. My mum took her own life, and the mortgage got paid off (wouldn't happen these days!)

In the end, he was mid divorce when he died. We got a decent amount. Not sure how it would have looked alternatively and no divorce.

The money has saved my life, helped big time, life changing if you've no chance of a mortgaged house but, ultimately, my dad. I'd prefer my dad here.

That's my input.

Who she to dictate your will?

If she thinks money will sort her life out she is wrong. Somebody dying isn't about what you inherit, it's about the love you have for the deceased parent.

Disgusting attitude of SD

I don’t understand why he can’t touch your house, did you sign a pre nup or some sort of legal document when you got married to say this?

what happens when you do family things? Do you cover most of the cost as there are 5 of your family and just one of him, does he just pay for himself? Does he and has he helped with the bringing up of your 4 kids over the past 15 years?

I can imagine my parents' faces if I started to ask about my 'inheritance'! My dm hates talking about money and though they are both in their 80s haven't drawn up a Will. My db tried to talk to me about his Will when he was terminally ill - he died earlier this year - but I found it too upsetting so I just told him to leave it to our parents. (He was long term unemployed and on jsa)

I'm a bit invested in this thread - my mum died young and left everything to my dad. He has since remarried twice and had more kids. I'm fairly sure he's leaving everything to his third wife, meaning me, my siblings and my step-siblings will get nothing. When I was a child and we moved house and struggled financially in the 80s and 90s, my mum assured us the house would be our inheritance...little did she know...

@Sillysausage76, please can I ask about how this has been approached between you and your DH? has he actually said he doesn't want DSD to inherit? Does he just assume you'll sort it out for her? Did you really have a conversation where you said "I'm leaving my house to my four children" and he said "oh, I'm not going to bother leaving anything to my daughter"?

But, don't forget that you may have grandchildren from your DC to protect also.

You sound like a wonderful person and will do what's best for everyone.

And yet here you are, being the other half of the conversation, going around in your own circles 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ballpark, how much are you both collectively going to pass on?

Well no, you keep going around variants of 'the SD has no legal entitlement to an inheritance' when it wasn't what the OP was asking, or what I for one was saying

You mean a discussion developed beyond an OP? On a message board? Crazy stuff.

I believe I initially questioned why the daughter ‘should’ be entitled to her father’s assets when he doesn’t want her to have them. Feel
free to scroll back through if you want to see exactly what points I’ve responded to.

What point are you actually responding to? This was the OP: 'Is it unfair not to include her in my will?' never 'am I legally obliged to include her...'

There is no right to inherit in England. That is a fact. Being able to make a claim does not equal a legal entitlement to a parent’s assets. And no, if a will is written by someone of sound mind, that has made their wishes clear and been sure to follow the letter of the law, it is highly unlikely that anyone contesting that will would be successful.

“So yes, her personal values and feelings surrounding the matter are pretty central.”

…no shit.

It’s a statement of fact that the daughter isn’t entitled to her father’s assets if he, of sound mind, decides he does not want her to have them

Not talking about this case in particular but that isn't incontrovertible fact at all. There could easily be factors leading to a decision in one party 's favour if a will was contested.

But that isn't what's being asked. It's about the decision making around a OP's own will. That's if the father decided not to write the daughter in for whatever reason and survives the OP. The OP is asking as she doesn't seem to feel entirely comfortable about leaving the SD out. So yes, her personal values and feelings surrounding the matter are pretty central.

’Resort to swearing’? Lol. I wasn’t aware that ‘no shit’ was reserved for special occasions.

Legal precedent absolutely reflects the bigger picture regarding what is valued in a society. In this case the law allows for the freedom of people to make their own individual ethical and moral judgements within its framework. I’m saying the law is the last word because it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s a statement of fact that the daughter isn’t entitled to her father’s assets if he, of sound mind, decides he does not want her to have them. OP is of course free to include her or not, but there’s no ‘should’ about it - only what OP would prefer.

You are of course to free to think it’s a complex issue, but no one else is required to. Similarly, they aren’t required to pay the slightest bit of attention to the ‘values and ethics’ you would like them to. The stepdaughter can feel however she wants to about it, but if OP and her DH do decide not to include her then that really is the last word.

Nothing feigned, just a bit odd to resort to swearing on a thread about someone else's will but you let it out.

The law as in legislation doesn't refer to a legal 'bigger picture' and otherwise. It lays out, well, legislation. So I'm not sure what you mean by that. I happen to think family relationships and doing right by people, even step children, can be quite complex. Legislation, or state law is only one source of law. Decision making in this sort of context should also be informed by values and ethics.

OP isn't bound by any law saying 'you cannot leave anything to your step daughter'. So I'm not sure why you're insistent that the fact she can exclude her from her will is the last word. She is free to, and knows that, but that's not really what she's asking. She's asking whether others think that would be the right thing to do.

To me the obvious answer is she became active in the business, that way she has a future

In these circumstances I think she should be included as your dh's assets were ploughed into your joint business. If she is to inherit 50% of the business and it's worth a lot that would make things different but if the business is not the kind the dc can profit from nor sold on then 20% of the house perhaps but not your personal money . It's something that will need to be kept up to date because could change

It’s a common idiomatic phrase, no need for feigned confusion as to my use of it.

And again, no shit. And also again, thankfully the law doesn’t reflect your opinion as to what constitutes ‘the bigger picture’.

Not sure why you're swearing but in my view, it is.

No shit.

Thankfully, it isn’t.

I'd say that was very much the smaller picture.

Except it can of course be about exactly that.

But sure, if you don’t think the bigger picture and principle is about respecting that independent adults have the right to decide for themselves what they do with their own assets. I do. The daughter is not entitled to lay claim to something that was never hers to begin with, that her father doesn’t want her to have.

Not quite, given that the bottom line is the law. Hence why it’s that simple - she isn’t entitled to his assets.

Op is free to pay as much or as little attention to anyone else’s opinion as she wants. That’s up to her. Incidentally, and I’m speaking generally now rather than specifically about OP, being interested in what others may think doesn’t mean you’re obliged to change your own, or that you’re even questioning your own.