To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

I’m going to be brutally honest and admit that I always notice a person’s weight. I’ll admire a nice figure/physique (male or female) but don’t think anything badly of a body that is overweight, it’s just that it’s probably the first thing I notice about them. Yes, I know it’s very shallow.

I’m medium build myself, literally size medium (10).

It’s lovely to read about someone genuinely comfortable with themselves. I’m in my 30s and have two young DCs (both large babies thanks to husbands height so do have the dreaded c-section stomach). I’m 2 stone heavier than I was pre DC1 and I find it incredibly hard to deal with. I’ve gone from a size 12 to a size 14-16. I just don’t seem to have a sense of who I am anymore. I can still look nice, dress nice etc. but I’ve had to grieve a body that I can’t get back (I’ve tried, id have to dedicated so much time and effort I just don’t have it in me at the moment).

Does you have any time for self acceptance? I’ve only realised recently how much mental energy it’s consuming.

It's not any of my business what other people weigh, but I suppose I do think it must be very uncomfortable and inconvenient to weigh a lot.

This. I have no interest in anyone else's weight except my own.

@stayathomer I agree, it's a fine balance. I think research shows being a small amount overweight but not obese is optimal for life survival longevity, it's called the obesity paradox.

I certainly could survive a bad bout of flu!

People think about their own weight, not others. I am now a size 12, highest I've ever been was a 14 and I was so unhappy - but that's me. I don't care what size anyone else is, doesn't affect my life so I give it no thought.

I don't think anyone thinks anything, beyond the same way people notice if someone is tall or short.

I think the only time it becomes an issue that people have "thoughts" about is if you make a big deal about it yourself, either constantly talking about fatphobia and how proud you are of your weight or talking endlessly about diets and how badly you want to lose weight.

There was a thread a while back when OP had a close friend who fell into the former category but was developing significant weight-related health issues and she was wondering whether to raise it with her. That's a completely different thing than making judgements about the health or personality of a stranger in a cafe.

I only take a second look at a person if they are very underweight or very overweight. Too busy worrying about what i look like

Ps I’d just like to add I know there’s a middle ground but unfortunately over the last twenty years have had a number of dealings with cancer (not my own health), and over 40 you should be aiming for a healthy weight but too little weight and your body has nothing to lose should you get sick. So people should be watching that too

I don't give a monkeys what size anyone else is, my friends, family, I'm happy for them if they are happy. The only one is a friend who has told me she wants to lose weight very actively as she has back issues and we've talked about it and I would be happy for her if she succeeded, but as for her being my friend, I don't mind whatsoever and don't think about it.

People are obsessed with their own bodies, looks and weight. That thread proved it, even though with the most conventional bodies are still worried and stressed and upset they might look 'fat' even though they clearly don't in any sense. I used to do the same at age 18, worry about my imaginary stomach. Now I'd kill to have that figure.

As you age, you care less or you stay upset and obsessed, it's kind of choice you have to make as you will not stay exceptionally toned, fit and without any loose skin or wrinkles to age 85, you can't, it's impossible, so I'm much happier now I've accepted that and feel better about my body in my mid-fifties than I did age 18 even though it's less conventionally 'perfect'.

Could someone provide a link to the thread referred to. Cheers.

I wouldn't judge, but if it’s a really hot summers day I do feel a bit sorry for anyone very overweight. I hated summer when I was heavier, I just felt so uncomfortable.

It's interesting all the posters saying they are slim, think about their weight but not others.

I am often a surprised when someone smaller/slimmer than me moans to me about their tummy/weight whatever. I always assumed it was an odd way of boosting their self esteem to moan to someone who is visibly bigger.

I'm now thinking maybe people just don't think!

Who really cares though? I am a size 18 and dont really worry. I am an older gal though(50 plus) and have had 7 operations! Fought off Sepsis a while ago had Cancer as well.(got all clear now hooray) surely all that matters is you are healthy and happy?I see lot of "big" girls and think they look great! this fascination of perfect s 10 is mystifying and dangerous .

I care about my own weight and make an effort to stay slim, but I don't really think about what other people do, especially if I don't even know them. I suppose if I see a very overweight person I might internally remark on their size for a second, but that's it.

I've never been less than a size 12 I think with my wide hips it would be impossible! I need to do more at the minute the stresses of life has meant I'm not exercising as much as I should be and I've slipped into the habit of having a biscuit each day with the afternoon lull.

I'd say at the moment I'm on the bigger end of a 14; my jeans are 16s but a bit big on me but I can't button up my 14 jeans. Maybe I'm a 15! 😂

I'm 5ft9 so luckily being tall my friends and family don't seem to notice or tell me off if I moan about it. But yes, I notice the differences, it's when certain clothes you haven't worn for a while get taken out and they are tight.

Like you OP I'm also a bit self conscious about my emergency section pouch, which was worse when my second DC was born (had to be a section second time due to complications and big emergency with my first it was too risky for me to go natural). What it meant was my scar became more noticeable and the pouch is worse. I also have no feeling on my skin there.

However DH is very complimentary and says I've not to worry. My thinnest was probably our wedding day I was a size 12 and just under 11.5 stone. Now I'm about 12.12 (just under 13 and I think I need to keep an eye on that).

I feel like we are all our own worst critics about weight.

Oh I'm sure that's your big concern when you see a fat person 🙄

I’m a size 12 and would say that I’m averagely slim. Sometimes I drop to a 10 but usually I sit comfortably at my usual size.

I don’t think anything about anyone’s weight. I don’t judge on weight and it doesn’t make me think negatively about someone. I DO judge people on whether they are polite and have manners though - how people behave towards other people and animals is pretty much the only thing that sways my opinion.

But that's none of your business is it. Just like it's none of my business how much wine you drink or if you clean your worktops properly.

I work hard to keep my weight down to something I feel comfortable with, and often struggle to do so. BMI currently around 23, which I’m happy with, but I do a decent amount of resistance training, so I’m probably healthier than that looks.

I tend not to look at other people unless they’re struggling, and then it’s with sympathy, or if they’re really fit and elegant and I’m a bit jealous.

I do get jealous when someone is carrying quite a bit of weight, but they still have decent curves and their face looks good. I know if I put on a lot of weight, I would turn into an apple with no chin.

I notice other people.
I'm surprised at people saying they dont.
I've just gone from 16 to 14 and edging back to a 12.
When I see people size 20plus. I'm glad it's not me as I know if I didn't do something about my weight I'd go the same way.
There's no denying that size 20/22 is very large.

Tbh I think most people walk round in their own little bubbles, preoccupied with their own shit and if they notice you at all, it's probably to wonder what you think about them.

We are a self absorbed species 😁

But yes, there will be some who will be thinking negative things. That's nothing to do with you though. There's a type of person who can only feel good about themselves by being negative about others. Fat,thin, tall, short, plain, pretty, it doesn't matter. They'll find something because it distracts them from what they hate about themselves.

I don’t judge or think mean thoughts, absolutely not. I am a healthy BMI but I struggle to control my eating and it’s front of mind a lot that I need to lose a few pounds, tone up etc and so I’m mindful of that in the way I live my life. I am definitely in the camp of people for whom maintaining a healthy wait is hard! I have obese parents and I suspect that genetically I am at higher risk of obesity.

On the flip-side, I work in healthcare and spend a lot of time looking at population health data, looking at the economics and the impact of poor health and obesity is a huge problem at the population level - it causes or contributes so much to many health conditions, both long term and acute. So I think about obesity a lot and I guess that affects the way I look around me. I notice it. I find seeing obese children really challenging because I know with some certainty based on data, that their lives will be limited in some way by the health conditions that emerge as they grow up as a result of their obesity. It Is as much a societal problem as an individual one, given the pressure it will put health services and the economic impact of having working age people unable to work through ill health.

But it could affect your health going forwards

I am 5 foot 10 and size 14, one year ago I was size 18. I refuse to eat in front of people other than family because I feel disgusting. I have said to myself that once I get my BMI below 25 (currently 27) I may feel confident enough to. However I probably won't because I see myself as the obesity equivalent of a recovering addict. Yes I know I have food issues. However, I don't notice other people's bodies. I am sure I am not alone in virtually walking round with my eyes shut.

She's a US size 22. That's a 26 in the UK.