To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

Healthy BMI does not mean slim though, : someone at 18.5 is slim, someone at 25 is overweight, so between say 21-25 we are « neither slim nor fat, average ».

I rarely notice unless you're making me squashed on the train. I'm not keen on close contact with others and not being able to avoid it makes me very anxious.

My weight, I'm thinking about it a lot because I've gained some and I want to lose it. It's less comfortable to walk around etc and I don't like the feeling. I'm also in my 50s and I need to keep fit which is harder with extra weight on your older joints.

What is the breakfast? Like a full English?
Honestly now.... i am slim. I don't really eat sausages, bacon, or croissants etc.
Partly because I actually feel ill from wheat and grease.
But it also reminds me that it keeps me slim not to eat most of the normal fare that cafés offer.

I used to weigh 26st and I was a size 30. My BMI was 55. I'd been overweight and obese for years. Last year I started losing weight and I am now a size 14. I'm 5'9". My BMI is 27. I feel much healthier now, but didn't realise I was unhealthy and unfit before.

This is how our brains work. When I was obese (you are not to that extent), I couldn't compare my health and fitness to anything better. I didn't think about my size. I knew I was fat. Other people knew I was fat. I wanted to be smaller, but it didn't dominate my life. Now I am smaller, have measurements of 40-32-40 instead of 58-48-58, I think about my weight ALL the time. I notice every bump, and consider where I could tone up or lose a bit more weight. The point being, it's a kind of survival thing I think. Mentally, I couldn't have dealt with thinking about something that was SO out of my control when I was SO obese. Now, I'm 'normal' size, it is well within my control and everything is so much more obvious. If I gained 5lbs before, I didn't even notice; if I gain 5lbs now, it feels like 5 stone.

You sound perfectly in proportion. No one is as critical of us as we are of ourselves. Women will focus on their own bodies and even compare themselves to each other; but no one is really thinking about your size when you're mid-size. When you're super big like I was, I think people really do notice and comment, but at that point it's white noise. People do treat me differently now than when I was obese, but remember I was huge. You're not particularly.

Honestly, I notice people’s weight but the « first impression » I get is dependent on how they dress.

I know a woman who is quite overweight but wears clothes that fit and are flattering. If you asked me to describe her I would’t think about her weight first. And I would say she is beautiful.

On the contrary, someone with the same body as her but dressed in stretched out leggings, or crop top or clothes that are too small - their weight would be the first thing coming to mind to describe them.

@GinForBreakfast I completely agree with this and that's why I care less about weight now, and more about mobility, fitness, not puffing when walking, having a good core, and not weighing too much for my frame all contributes to that.

I care less about my wobbly belly and fact my boobs have dropped, no-one gets out of this life alive.

Things that have helped me, and I was very very body dysmorphic as a teen/twenties are losing weight to keep me at a healthy size but not focused on looks (so for me that's around a size 12/14), taking exercise even though I find it boring, buying clothes usually on Vinted that fit me and are nice textures and shapes so I feel confident, realising all my friends are ageing too and none of us have perfect bodies, not even the ones who were slim and conventionally attractive in our twenties. Many of us have health conditions or had hysterectomies and are still enjoying life and want to stay fit and mobile and that is more of a priority than a flat tummy, which I never had anyway!

I honestly think it depends on your body/bone shape too, not just weight.

I'm 5ft and incredibly small boned, tiny feet/hands. I look overweight at size 10-12, and slim at size 6, but not particularly slim at size 8.

You are 5ft 7" so I imagine you carry your weight better than someone shorter. Big boobs/bum are desirable, so if you have an hourglass shape you probably look really good at a heavier weight.

People often boil body happiness down to weight, but it's not that simple. Some people look amazing at bigger sizes and some people look bad slim

My own perception would be related to whether your clothing or hairstyle was to my taste. I'd notice your bag and your footwear (I love bags and footwear). I have no opinion at all on anyone's size.

I'd notice posture, positive vibe, facial expression, and how you were interacting with your baby if he were out and about with you.

I care about my own weight so try to stay within a certain range that's healthy for me. I know someone with an ED that's ruled her life for decades and try consciously to be aware of toxic thinking around body perception.

I think a lot about my own weight but never about anyone else's, unless I notice someone is very far from the norm like a "my 600lb life" kind of size or dangerously underweight.

OP, you don't say anything about your physical health, just your looks and your sex life. As you get older you may want to consider how your lifestyle (diet and exercise) contributes to joint health, blood pressure, cholesterol, cardiovascular etc. etc.

I feel like I'm always shouting into the void. It's not about looks. It's not about how you feel right now. It's about protecting your long term health and wellbeing.

This! I don't really care about anybody else's weight.
Edited to add, there is a difference between noticing and caring about someone else's weight. I may observe if someone is over or under weight but that is where it stops fot me, why would I care?

I'm overweight by 3 stone, I loathe my body. A year ago I was 4.5 stone overweight.

Do I notice other people, of course I do. I don't really believe people who say they don't notice others. I work with a lass who is 5ft, she looks to be around 6 stone overweight. She is very, very large. To my shame, it is the first thing I notice as soon as she comes in the door each day. I can't help it, I'd also notice if someone my height, 5ft 4, looked to weigh 6 stone.

I saw a woman in Tesco last week who was literally bone, it was so sad, her legs were the shape of her bones, it made me think that my body is, though fat, not too bad, but mainly that my mental health is brilliant.

I'm a 16, 5'2. I've been short and fat forever. I've worried about my body on and off, mostly off, less so after seeing that poor woman. I exercise and eat mostly healthy.

I would notice your weight. I notice everybody's weight - particularly anybody who is bigger. I notice super slim people and wish I looked like them and I clock bigger women and think 'she's big'. That's probably the extent of it though, I wouldn't have other thoughts beyond observing the facts in front of me and I don't really think anything about any behaviour linked to weight.

Probably a me issue though - I've always had an unhealthy relationship with body image having been a teenager in the 90s and early 2000s.

If I’m being completely frank, if I knew what you looked like before and compared it to what you look like now, I would be surprised. If I didn’t know you at all, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

For me I think that i just don't hold weight well. I'm an apple shape,skinny wee legs, I have broad enough enough shoulders, no boobs to speak of, weight goes on to my stomach first and I end up looking like a rectangle on sticks. A lot of other people put their weight on more evenly or have boobs to balance things out etc so a someone could be a bigger size than me but I would feel that they look better because of their body shape or that weight suits them. I'm my own biggest critic but rarely think anything much about others weight or appearance. Pretty much the only thing I am likely to notice is if they dress in a way that I like.

I'm a bit confused about the point you want to make from that photograph. I would say the women who look slim in it (i.e. the taller women) are the ones who all have the green BMIs.

Which of the women with green BMIs are you saying don't look slim?

I’ve been bigger (14st) and I’m smaller (8st).
Honestly I don’t think many people really care or think about what other people weigh. The people (myself) that have weight anxiety generally focus on themselves…which is probably why we have so much anxieties about our weight lol

Weight doesn’t mean anything when it comes to people’s personalities. Someone smaller isn’t evil or bigger kinder. People are people and they have bodies…

Although I will say, barring high school, the people who’ve made the meanest comments about my body, have never been the smaller people.

I’m not sure why and I don’t want to generalise. But a theory could be that smaller people are obsessing about their own weight and bigger people are obsessing about other people’s weight or how smaller people perceive them? I don’t know tbh

Actually I just realised that I do notice really skinny people. Everyone else not really…

I could have written the above. Am a 10/12.
Would add that a friend who is the same height and weight as OP has just been diagnosed with pre-diabetes and has been given a voucher by Dr for slimming classes. She doesn't look 16st, though.

It's so common to be overweight now that noones likely to think much of it.

Not sure what the other thread is people are referring to.

The majority of people in the UK are now overweight so to be frank if I spent time thinking about / judging each one of them I'd never have anytime for anything else, and as it's the norm I don't even notice anymore to be honest.

But in general I think it's a really negative thing that the majority of people are overweight and that more should be done about it (as a society and individually). It's not an issue that I am personally willing to just accept and say that it's ok.

Has the originally referred to thread been deleted? If not, it would be much appreciated if someone could link it.

Im very conscious of my own size, a lot less interested in other peoples. I’m also a lot more positive about other people’s appearance/bodies, so I notice friends who are curvier with full busts and think they look lovely. When I’m heavier than I want to be, it’s not in the curvy/hourglass way that is desirable, it’s in a bloated barrel sort of way.

I do notice overweight children and have a feeling of sadness for them, I think barring a severe health condition (intense steroid treatment etc) it’s a cruelty to allow your child to become saddled with issues so young.

It’s more that it is hard to judge your own weight - when I was in my teens/early 20s I weighed 45kg (only 5ft so BMI was normal). Objectively I cannot have been fat, but I definitely felt fat (big bum and muscular thighs, which was deemed highly unattractive in the 90s).

I still can’t really judge. My BMI is about 28 now, and if you show me pictures of other women I can’t tell whether I look a bit curvy or really flabby. Dress size doesn’t help because I’m short (could fit in a size 10-12 with a BMI > 30). And different people carry their weight differently depending on bone structure/muscle mass. I really couldn’t care less what other women look like, this is about my own self-image.

I have, thankfully, never really had body hang-ups and rarely weighed myself so it took me years to actually notice that I was overweight and even longer to want to do anything about it! But I am (BMI 26.5) so I have begun calorie counting for health reasons.

But it's still not really appearance-related - I am far more bothered about other parts of life - this is just my outer casing!

So much is socially determined - where do you stop dieting? The camera adds pounds and I suspect that many women in the public eye who are deemed to be 'slim' are actually quite underweight. I find this photo interesting - click on it to see the BMIs. At 70kg a woman has to be taller than 5'8" to look 'slim', even though several of the women are within healthy BMI.

I only care about my weight and I prefer to look skinny but I actually think some curvy women look great. I think different sizes suit different people and are beautiful.