To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

I do not agree with the “all sizes look good” narrative. Being overweight and unhealthy shouldn’t be normalised in the younger generation.

How was the poster making a moral judgement? 🤔

How are driving or living in a city the same health-wise as being obese?

It's not following the current crowd tbh, people were MUCH more judgemental about people being overweight in previous decades because it was unusual and less accepted.

I disagree, ppl comment on my size regularly
You're pretty for a fat lass
Big bird
You'd be prettier if you lost weight
Your too fat for short hair
Fatttttyyyyyyyyy ( shouted from a vehicle)
Longer hair would look better
Fat twat/bitch/c*nt
Move you lump ( in the supermarket)
Are you so fat you can't walk ? ( I use a mobility scooter)
Who ate all the pies? ( Ordering a black coffee in a cafe)
A guy at the gym walked behind me making sound effects
( Not all the comments have been from men)

I grew up in a family who were judgemental about weight, following a period of neglect and starvation with a different family member.

This combination of early starvation, followed by a fully stocked kitchen alongside judgment led to highly disordered eating and at times minor eating disorders... I have been every size from 6 to 20 in my adult life. I then married someone controlling and judgemental about weight. Then an extremely abusive relationship with someone who was very invested in how I look.

I judge. My first reaction is always to assess how 'attractive' and how slim someone is. Then, within seconds, I reframe, stop that shit and have words with myself. I wish I didn't, but I can't stop it. I judge myself more than anyone else though. Still, after all these years, I only ever eat with people I trust fully, unless I perceive myself as 'thin enough' (size 10 or below at 5.10) to avoid the judgement of people like my family or ExH (or myself, I guess...).

It's fucking shit. The whole bloody lot of it. If I had cash, I'd have therapy. Instead, I just keep trying to be a decent person rather than the wanker I actually am.

As someone with a scientific background I cannot stop but think of the implications of being overweight, and how these implications often become more significant as we age. I wouldn't judge you or anyone else for being overweight, and I get that the reasons can be complex, but I do think we all have a responsibility to try to be reasonably healthy. I say this as someone who has definitely been slimmer and more toned than I am, but who wouldn't be considered overweight.

Fat is not some thing you do. You have absolutely no right to make a moral judgement on someone else's behaviour just by looking at them existing. If you drink, smoke, drive, use chemical cleaning products, feel stressed and do nothing about it, live in a city, or eat meat, you are ignoring things that you know about your own safety/ health but nobody makes a moral judgement about you based on that, because it doesn't change the way you LOOK from the outside. It's an ill-informed and unfair judgement you are making even if it is following the current crowd.

I'm 5ft 9, when I'm 11.5 stone I'm a size 8 - I'm surprised this is seen as a top limit. Is this just for women? Or men too?

I think unwillingness to do anything about a serious health issue is basically ignorance.

I do a job that involves seeing people's mobility and I do feel really sorry for people who when they reach 40s / 50s their quality of life decreases because of the pressure through joints. My dad had weight problems and trouble walking in his 50s which to me seems so young to have these restrictions. He ended up with a replacement. I also know a mum friend in my sen group who can't take her son out solo because she can't run after him (he's 6) and I feel sorry for her.

Yes and no- yes not happy to have someone pinch half my seat. No- I genuinely do not look at someone bigger than me and think unkind thoughts. I have crap self esteem and generally look at other women and spot something about them that is better than me.

I’m not sure assuming an overweight person is uneducated about diet/exercise is reasonable. I’d wager most fat people know all too well how to lose weight. It’s a bit more complicated for most.

My mind is blown to hear that women who are slim but unhappy with themselves don’t notice the size of other people too?? How?? I am constantly looking at everyone’s bodies 😬 quite obviously I realise that’s a bad thing. So you slim women I guess are just going by how you feel within yourself rather than compared to others, as you’re not noticing others? Interesting. God every time I see someone I notice their body shape and compare myself. Yes it’s exhausting, yes it’s boring, yes it’s unhealthy!

Come to think of it I don’t actually notice how I feel. So, it’s probably healthier to notice how you feel and not compare yourself, than compare yourself and not notice how you feel. I need to go back to therapy I think 😅

If I'm brutally honest I would think you either have health complications or are just uneducated about diet/exercise. Sorry, it feels bad typing that.

I do notice sometimes but culturally Asians and I mean East Asians are judgemental about weight. I’m probably not as bad as some but it’s very rare to see a Chinese, Korean, Japanese or other East Asian person overweight. It’s seen as unacceptable.

It’s just very bad for your health in every way. That’s the issue it’s become too normalised for people to notice people are overweight. But their internal organs know.

UK food is very carb heavy and also the attitude to alcohol which is just empty calories is very different from how I was raised.

I think people are judged on their weight , wrongly skinny people are treated better I have been bigger and thin and there is a difference to how you are treated by strangers.

my however if you’re happy with weight that’s fab and good for you life is too short to worry about other’s opinions . As PP said if it affecting your health then maybe that’s a sign that loosing a little weight would be beneficial but only you can decide that.

I think you having been exposed to so much of that is going to mean you're out of step with people who haven't. I can well believe that people who grew up in the kind of environment you're talking about would be likely to notice and think negatively of a random passing fat person. But a lot of us have just never had that sort of experience or exposure.

I generally like my body, my face and the way I look in general but I’ve never had much trouble staying slim. I was a 6-8 up until my mid-late 20s It did become easier for me to put weight on in my 30s but I’ve never gone above a 12. I think I look overweight at a size 12, my BMI tips over 25 at that size so by that measure I am overweight. It doesn’t look good on me. If I’m completely honest, I do negatively judge anyone over a size 14 (or equivalent when it comes to men). I think being overweight has been way too normalised. So yes, I would probably think some unflattering things about your size OP, I’m afraid. I don’t believe all the people here who say they wouldn’t. Also maybe relevant to mention I grew up in a house where my mum would regularly criticise the weight and looks of people she saw on the street, on TV, in magazines etc, and was obsessed that she was too fat. I’ve never had the body hang ups she had, but it was normalised for me to talk negatively about other people’s looks

I don’t think I’d notice you as a stranger. If you were a colleague, I might see you as a large person, but that’s it.

So when I see large people I think "what a shame, they couldn't go riding". Of course I know most people aren't into horses, but when you've been a pony-mad kid it's how you see the world....

Do you think this about most blokes then? 11 and half stone must be less than most adult men weigh. I'm not having a go - I know it must sound a bit snide - just genuinely confused by the idea you eye everyone up and decide whether they are over or under 11.5 stone. It sounds bonkers.

I couldn't care less what size another person is. If they were Uber morbidly obese they'd be bedbound so I wouldn't see them. Anyone who's out and about and seeming like they can move ok I wouldn't have any opinion of.

If someone looked like they were struggling to walk or in pain or didn't have the correct mobility aid then I'd feel sympathy. And ask if they needed help.

I suffer from anorexia and that doesn't reflect on me wishing other people to be dangerously underweight. I know I'm not well. I wish to see people looking happy and healthy, moving freely, without pain, at whatever size.

I am a size 10-12 and care about my weight (well not so much weight but more the shape of my body) but I couldn't really care less about anyone else's. Yes I would notice but certainly wouldn't judge anyone I didn't know.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5203402-how-much-does-your-sizeweight-bother-you?page=5&reply=139594196
To those asking what thread, I'm assuming its this one

I'm like this, I could describe people and their style/size/shape but it doesn't bother me except where it looks like they are uncomfortable (e.g. some people with BMI of 30-32ish or bigger are striding up hills, cycling or jogging, in the pool doing Aqua Fit, others seem to be struggling with walking).

I haven't read the full thread but this struck a chord with me!
I'm very slim and the only one who is in my close friendship group.
I'm aware that I'm much slimmer than my friends (mostly because they remind me!) but I'm so preoccupied with my own (significant!) hang ups, that I'm totally unaware of their size mostly and never really notice it unless they are being self critical!

@Fluffywalrus To be clear, my personal view differs and I would not normally discuss women's bodies unless they have put themselves forward as these women have done. All are attractive women. But I suspect that only a couple of the women would be described as 'slim' if they were photographed by a paparazzo on the beach, as celebrities so often are. So often people are surprised and exclaim at how 'tiny' celebrities are when they meet them in the flesh - Geri Horner springs to mind. It's a harsh and very critical public sphere.

In the meantime, I could so do with something dark-chocolatey and pastry-ish! But. I. Won't!