To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

I was looking at this lady in the waiting room of the doctors today. She was a big lady, really nicely dressed and accessories etc. Gorgeous hair and face/smile. I think it’s more about self care. I notice more if someone looks uncared for, bit scruffy. The lady I saw today was double my size but she honestly looked stunning. I guess health comes into too as you get older.

I would t judge anyone on their size, but from your description, and to answer your question, I would most certainly say you’re a ‘bigger woman’.
Fab and beautiful no doubt. But no denying that is a large size.

What was the other thread?

I might notice in the same way I might notice someone’s hair but wouldn’t care (nothing to do with me).

It's not a foot. It is eight inches at most. Even getting my work bag in wasn't easy. The car door obviously took up space also when it was open

To be fair that looks more like a foot and i could get in there and I’m an 18-20!

Everyone is overweight. I don't think about it tbh, unless they're actively making themselves obvious. Which is their right - girls in crop tops and leggings that don't fit, etc. I can't not notice that.

It's normal. I'm a size 6 and have been for yonks but if I spent all my life judging others, I'd be bored. Are they happy? Good. That's all I'm arsed about. Most healthy minded people don't give a shit.

This. Most of us judge ourselves by a high standard but not others. I honestly don't think anything when I see overweight people, it's so common now.

Yeah me too.

Also I just squeezed into my car (on the left) with a six inch gap. There were no other cars on either side when I parked (properly!) this morning. The passenger side was even worse. So I can't be that big. And I had a short fitted skirt on, it wasn't pretty but I made it! 😵

I might notice but I wouldn't think anything about it

At an old job I walked in on some colleagues watching a soap. Every sentence was
"God she looks awful"
"Hasn't she aged"
"That top is rank"
"No wonder he ditched her"

I made a decision then I didn't want to be that person so every time I start to think something negative about someone I force myself to change it to a compliment in my head

Now all my thoughts are neutral or positive because I didn't want to give headspace to so much negativity about people I don't even know when there's better things I can do with my time

I’m the same !! And think most people are tbh !
we are our own worst critics!!!

Why do people always wonder this?

I'm slim with a healthy BMI and a flabby menopausal stomach.

Even before I hit my mid fifties and my stomach went to pot, I never 'thought' anything about people who were fatter or slimmer than me.

I think you'll find most people are too busy with their own lives to care about strangers bodies.

And the interesting thing about that photo is that even the two women who are the same height, weight and BMI look very different in terms of body fat.

@Threecactusplants I love being around "bigger" women who feel secure in their bodies. I can't explain why. It has nothing to do with me feeling skinnier in comparaison, I'm happy with my weight and wouldn't like to loose or gain. I remember at nursery as a small child, there was one "bigger" woman and I always went to her when I was sad. It was something recomforting with her softness I think and still today I much prefer hugging my "bigger" friends than the skinny ones. But it's really weird so I wouldn't dream of saying this out load.

You're speaking in riddles to me. What the hell is HTH??

You can talk about actions vs 'being' all you want. Driving and living in a city are different to being overweight first and foremost because they have essentially no impact on your health or life expectancy.

Quick Google says UK adults have a 0.0023% chance of dying in a car accident.

Obesity will lower your life expectancy by an average of 3-10 years (NHS website).

Not comparable in the slightest.

I notice slim women a lot more, like seeing a tall willowy woman wearing gym leggings and think ‘I wish I had her very slender legs!’

Generally I think the averagely overweight person is a bit invisible in public really, like electric pylons. I’m not paying any attention.

I think if someone looks uncomfortably large it can grab my attention briefly, if I think anything it’s probably something along the lines of ‘There but for the grace of god go I.’

After reading that thread, I’m wondering what people think of me when they see me around, for example I’m in a cafe now, having a coffee and a breakfast. It never bothered me before much; but after reading that thread I’m pretty taken aback!

If you're in the UK, 63% of the population are overweight.

So why would they think anything particularly? 😳

I do get that and I am sad that people are dwelling on it so much that its causing them distress.

I am extremely inward focused I suppose, but in general, I think people dont think about others as much as we think they do.

I'm about 13 stone and 5'7", size 14 at the most though and fit and muscular. I don't look big compared to most people in the UK. I think of myself as a strong solid person.

I am glad to hear that and genuinely can’t comprehend it - I guess that’s what happens when you’re aware of your weight from being tiny!

People don't care what other people look like, they literally aren't thinking about you

Yes, this is my feeling too. I am very aware of my own weight because I want my clothes to fit well etc but I dont care about others' weight.

As for the people scoffing saying we do all think about other people's weights, no, we dont lol. I might notice someone overweight in the same way I notice a car driving down the road or other general things going on around me as I go about my day but it doesn't go further than noticing it. Thats literally it. I really am that self absorbed in my own stuff that I dont dwell on what other people look like or think about it. I would only pay attention to it if someone specifically told me they were unhappy with their weight and started a conversation about it.

God yep, ‘you’ve got a pretty face (for a fat lass)’

Or, ‘bubbly’. Show me a time a thin woman has been described as bubbly….!

And driving and living in the city are different in that driving and residing are actions, where 'being' is a state, but they are related in that all of them are statistically more likely to result in your harm/ earlier life expectancy for reasons of safety and health. HT also H.

So you slim women I guess are just going by how you feel within yourself rather than compared to others, as you’re not noticing others? Interesting. God every time I see someone I notice their body shape and compare myself.

I'm slim and constantly look at others and compare (negatively and positively). Some of these posts come across a bit "I don't see colour, I just see the person".

That's a really interesting take.

I am late 50s and decided to set my gray hair free a couple of years ago. I am pretty much invisible to men and women alike. It's very liberating.

The woman with an ED that I know never stops commenting on other people's shape and size, and fretting about her backside. She believes everyone is looking at her with the same critical eye that she uses on others.

She was making a judgement that somebody isn't 'willing to do something' - so both that they are behaving in a particular way and that they could behave differently but choose not to. She is disapproving about this = a moral jusdgement. Hth.