To wonder how I’m perceived as a bigger woman after the previous thread?

I don’t really think about my weight. I certainly don’t think about other people’s weights.

Op, when is the last time you weighed yourself?

I admire your body positivity, and that you are married to someone wh0 finds larger women physically attractive, this will help,,but I think you need to think of the health risks.

Start by weighing yourself.

As someone who has recently started their weight loss journey I am acutely aware of the health risks associated with obesity, it isn’t about appearance, or how attractive you feel you are, but about so many other health risks, from obesity being the leading cause of cancer. Through to heart attack , stroke, pressure on joints meaning kneee, hip etc replacements are often needed, through to the level of activity you can do. without putting yourself at risk of a significant event.

looking after our healthy is critical, and you don’t want to wait until you have health issues to sort it.

Its probably best to measure where you're carrying it. I was shocked to learn that a waist size above 31.5 " is risky for a woman, as it a hip to waist ratio less than 0.85. This means if you're a size 12/14 in M&S and apple shaped, its a health risk. And that's a LOT of women. So many people twittering about strain on the NHS and blaming obese people, without taking this into account, and that if that's you in your 30/40s, 'average size', then in your 50s, with a slower metabolism and greater tendancy to store weight in the middle; and at the age when health issues emerge... Suffice to say, we'd probably all do better keeping our minds on our own health, if we feel its so important, rather than that of larger women, who provide a comforting comparison.

Of course you’re a “bigger lady”. You’re class 2 obese. Behind all the kindness and fluff, everybody will observe your physical size.

I honestly couldn’t say, but I’d assume the huge variation allows for different body types, and when you use the nhs calculator you need to put ethnicity in,not sure if changes it, but for me, at 5 ft 7 , I can be 8stone 7 up to 11 stone 7, and be a healthy weight, so I’m guessing again most people fall within this category, irrelevant of demographic, it is very wide ranging,

I think that's very sensible. If I went down (currently just over 13st)I think my lowest bmi is something like 9st 10 I'd look like a skeleton. Everyone I've seen recently has told me not to lose more (including my dietician) I've lost 90% of my excess weight. Feel like a new woman! I would like to be in the 12st range and I'm heading there quite comfortably.

The thing about BMI is that it gives a huge range for healthy weight. I'm 5ft 8 and can apparently be as light as 8.5 stone and I can go up to 11.5 stone.
I've been 8 stone 5lbs. I looked anorexic and my periods stopped for a year! So it definitely wasn't a healthy weight for me.
I've also been 11.5 stone and although this is apparently a healthy weight for my height, I was visibly overweight. I have very little muscle, so all the weight was flab.
My doctor told me it's best to aim for something in the middle. She said the perfect BMI was 22 and it is for me. This is when I look slim and healthy. However, if you're a muscular person, I'd imagine you could go over a BMI of 25 and still be healthy. Surely it's better to measure how much fat you're carrying?

But am I not correct in remembering reading that no black people were used when bmi was calculated so it's not a fair representation?

A lb 0f fat and a pound of muscle weigh the same. Both a lb. Simply the muscle takes up less space than the fat. BMI works well for most of us, for the simple reason a woman needs to be a very high level athlete to build up enough muscle for it to make a difference.

weights and height directly correlate to bmi, it’s what makes the calculation, and it isn’t set, healthy is between 18,5 and 24.9 for example. A huge variance, Which allows for many different things, be it excessive muscle as you indicate, or a small frame at the other end.

The simple fact that is that for the overwhelming majority of us, if you go below or over that you are underweight or overweight,

True and BMI is a dreadful way of measuring, particularly when the people I know who go to the gym look defined/fit but weigh more than others and have higher bmis. Weight is just a number but it’s a huge preoccupation of many and other than bmi, there isn’t much else to go on and the numbers on the scale is our usual way of knowing where we’re at.

The numbers made me very unhappy this morning, my groups will tell me to stop worrying but it’s an obsession after a lifetime of being overweight.

I'm a size 22, and while I'm starting weight loss medication soon because I'm aware of the impact of my weight on my health, I give not one shit what people think of me. I dress well, have plenty of interest from males (not that I care!)

@Shizzlestix yes I won’t lie to anyone I am far happier now I am no longer obese for many of the reasons you outlined. I will notice people doesn’t mean I judge them. Losing weight is so so hard and very nuanced.

I’m your size, OP, weigh a stone more and am shorter at 5’ 5”, but I dress well, and get compliments on my style every week.
I would like to get my fitness back, but don’t really take any notice of what the scales say: even at a younger age and size 10, I weighed 11 stones - heavy bones? Or muscle mass - I dunno, but weight really is just a number…

I’ve gone from a size 26 to a small 14. According to a post I read months ago, this is fat. Obviously I look at others and have opinions, I think it’s a bit disingenuous to say you don’t make judgements or really think about size on seeing others.

Even at my biggest, I thought ‘plus size models’ was not ideal. I get that bigger people need to have an idea of how clothes might look on them, but it’s not great (imo) to have overweight models/influencers saying how they’re healthy, fit, love the size they are.

I was very unfit/unhealthy/heading for a mobility scooter at size 26 (exacerbated by a very serious accident) Nobody can truly be ‘happy’ at that size, even buying clothes is a minefield and the paranoia of what others are thinking (ha, the irony) is constant. Looking at the various weightloss groups to which I belong, every single person is happier with their smaller size. 🙂

*sorry as in asking what size people think they are, those threads.

@Bossygal I don't see why it's that unusual if I've mostly been a 10 all my life, I'd obviously notice one woman is bigger than another but I'd never be able to say she's a 16 and she's a 22, I haven't a clue what size is normal for those sizes, especially considering how height, shape and shop has such an impact. It makes sense when you think of those bizarre threads where a woman has posted a picture of herself and the sizes people are massively vary.

I was on the thread and I was obese and now I am slim. No I don’t judge - there are lots of reasons why people gain weight but I might notice if it affects someone’s walk or mobility. Generally it has become normalised so mid range obesity is not really as noticeable, the extreme end of BMI 40+ is more unusual and obvious. My DP’s family have a tendency for super morbid obesity and it is distressing to see them struggle to walk and breathe and it affects their quality of life very seriously. I still do not judge them but I notice and I feel empathy for them as it’s very difficult

I think that’s quite unusual to be honest, most women know their dress size and can tell if someone else is say the same or two or three sizes bigger, to not be able to tell the difference between someone who is a 16 and someone who is a 22 would be minority I think,

And the thing is with everyone saying obesity is the norm, so is very thin if you're watching any tv, or films, or looking at large areas of social media or marketing. I'm really not sure I am so used to obesity that I ignore it, I feel like I am belt fed slimness an awful lot, I feel I have lost sight of what is a normal slim body. My BMI is currently 22 I think it is, I am in size 8 and 10 clothes (but can still fit in 12 too, big chested) I know logically I am healthy and "normal" whatever that is, but when I look in the mirror all I see is the extra little bit of weight I know I don't need to be carrying, and I'm actually more obsessed about that from a health point of view than vain (mindful I'm 30s so it's only going to get hard to maintain/lose weight)

Sorry slight tangent but was a bit baffled by the "blind to obesity" comments when a society we know we are shown an awful lot of the opposite as well.

Boris made a vague stab at it. But I can't imagine most people would take any notice.

It would've been more sensible to have regulations and guidance spelling out that people could take as much ourdoor exercise as wished, including time spent resting so as not to exclude pregnant women, elderly etc who might need it. Instead, we did our lockdown in a way that actively mitigated against exercise for a lot of people. Lo and behold, we emerged from the pandemic heavier on average.

I'm not sure I agree. I think size 16 blends into the crowd. In my opinion size 20-22 is noticeable. However, obviously people are mostly focussed on what they're doing.

This will be entirely down to the person and their own perception, I have no idea what a size 16 or size 22 looks like, I couldn't look at someone and guess their size (unless I felt they had a similar body shape to me).

One of the missed opportunities of the Covid pandemic was that the government didn't start a high profile public project to encourage everyone to get into shape.

Well they were a bit busy....

Such a BMI definitely isn't unusual these days. I'm guessing that it would be individuals with a BMI around 50 who would stick out.

One of the missed opportunities of the Covid pandemic was that the government didn't start a high profile public project to encourage everyone to get into shape.

I'm not sure I agree. I think size 16 blends into the crowd. In my opinion size 20-22 is noticeable. However, obviously people are mostly focussed on what they're doing.

Actually I tell a lie. I do notice overweight people, as I’ve become over weight I’ve had health issues, high blood pressure etc, and I do now look at extremely overweight people. Or people with a large amount of stomach fat and wonder if they have health issues, high blood pressure, high cholersterol, struggling with breathing and moving, stiff ankles, sleep apnea etc. I often find myself glancing down to see if they have swollen ankles, or at their hands, to see if their fingers are swollen, and rings tight, at their wrist and if their watches are digging in, that kind of thing, as I think very few people get away with obesity and no health issues.