To go off sick the rest of the year and then resign?

Having a partner who does not pull his weight is a massive disadvantage, but I don't think it qualifies as an illness.

@Trumptonagain I don’t think that’s what is happening here. OP is clearly at the end of her tether and desperate for a way out. She is considering her options and being signed off sick with stress is a valid one. How is she ‘openly shafting the system’?! Surely it’s better that she goes off sick rather than attempt to do her (difficult and responsible) job massively under performing due to stress and burnout. Even just to give herself some breathing space to figure out if she does actually need/want to resign or not.

This is normal life when you have children so I would suggest working on coping skills rather than giving up a 3 day week.

Parenting is relentless at times.

If the OP was taking short term leave then its understandable but she's not, she's openly shafting the system.

The OP should resign now and walk away, not leave her HT thinking she's going to return...

I despair more as to why a person/people think it's fully acceptable to go off sick, misleading their colleagues to boot, until such times their resignation kicks in.

If you can afford to give up work you can afford a cleaner and a handyman....your kids will grow and it will be less stressful once they are in school full time.

You sound as if you are at the end of your tether. We all have different energy levels and breaking points, we all have different challenges and battles. You know yourself and only you know how long you can go on.
It will take some effort now before you see a beneficial change but it might be worth it as it will set principles for the future.
I would suggest that you sit down with your partner and tell him calmly that you are concerned about your mental health and energy and acknowledge that he might feel the same.
Work out what you would like life to look like, what would need to change and what of all the things would make the most difference so start with that. Discuss with partner as you need to tackle it all together.
Create routines which minimise work and potential crisis points. Start routines with your children as well.
The routines should not just involve you, you are a pair and both need to pitch in.
If you give up work you will be even more the person that everything devolves onto.
Speak to GP, get anything physical that might be dragging you down ruled out.
Do you have family support nearby?

I was you but working full time shifts and we only had one child. We were both exhausted. We completely changed our childcare by employing a nanny. Honestly, it’s a game changer. No more having to get them up and out to nursery, no more having to sort out meals for them in the evening, bathing them or sorting out their laundry. It was more expensive but oh so worth it.

Can you take a holiday? Sometimes things just do get too much and a break is sometimes all you need.

Depends what the actual issue is. Is is a work issue, dh issue or organisation issue. When my children were little I wouldn’t have wanted to work days time hours because they were always ill. Also had a dh that didn’t help. However once they were both at school it got easier. I worked more. The one thing I would say is be mindful of quitting your job if your marriage is bad you may need the financial independence. If dh won’t help and won’t make changes there is your problem.

This is just life with young kids. It doesn't last forever

It’s a sign of your stress that you can’t see a way to move forward with any of the suggestions that posters are making.

It doesn’t matter which of the many suggestions you take up, you need to do something, even if it doesn’t solve everything that you are grappling with. Try to take some small steps in the right direction. As people have said, it makes no sense to say you want to give up work but that all of the other things they’ve suggested are too big to contemplate.

Has your work got an Employee Assistance scheme? This sometimes offers short-term counselling/a limited number of sessions. No-one holds it against you if you use the scheme. This could provide you with someone who could help you appraise your various options rather than you having non-productive conversations with DH or getting stuck feeling that you simply can’t make any changes.

We must have been reading different things, cos that's not what the OP said at all.

Stress and poor mental health is sickness.

Your husband does nothing and you sound close to a nervous breakdown doing it all.
He also shuts you down by becoming indignant.
That is abusive behaviour.
He is a selfish lazy man.
Go to the doctor and get signed off asap.
Talk to family and friends because you have a shit husband who is clearly a shit father too.

Take action before your health collapses.

It just sounds like you don’t want to work but neither do you want to deal with all the really hard bits about being a parent. What do you do in the evenings when your children are in bed or at the weekend when your DH is around? Having a family is a constant juggling act I’m afraid and not one you can dip in and out of. You have to accept your lot from the choices you have made so far OR make choices to change your current situation

You’re finding it hard because it IS hard. You’ve all the stress of having a job and all the stress of tiny kids. And a marriage under strain. This is all understandable. I’m sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just bloody hard to do it every day.

Can you negotiate a shorter notice by explaining quite truthfully that the situation as it is could soon make you unwell and then you’d have to go off sick? If it’s one or the other they might be more amenable?

Life with little kids is tough especially when you are both working. I don't know that resigning would help you surely this would just add financial pressure to your existing stress? Maybe self.certify for a week just for some breathing space.
If you have money in your budget outsource where possible eg cleaner, gardener etc. If it's not essential don't do it. I used to spend forever ironing everything now I do school uniform only. My home made me stressed in a constant state of DIY projects now I just employ tradespeople yes it might cost more but it stops my house dragging my mood down

Are you a teacher?

I think you're being a hard time here. Life can be very hard. Teaching must be one of the most stressful jobs there are.

Maybe go and see your GP.

You’re not sick though. Resign if you don’t want to work.

Can someone swap days so DP takes them to nursery on his day off?

The analogy of putting your own oxygen mask on first is relevant here. Do you really think that having an over stressed, overwhelmed and highly anxious teacher is best for children? Sometimes people, even teachers, need to take time off for their own wellbeing. Similar to NHS workers, fitness to practice is an important consideration too. The OP, or any individual, is not to responsible for the systemic failures that are often to blame for staff sickness / burn out - including your DC having crappy supply teachers.

I despair at some of the responses on this thread.

It really doesn’t matter.

OP is on the verge of a burnout. Whether it’s home life or work life, something needs to give. Having a week or two off to be able to reassess - and that can be tackling her home life stress or making the ultimate decision that she needs to leave, does benefit everyone.

Have you ever worked with someone who’s burnt out? They need support and consideration, not snarky comments about only ‘working 3 days’. Do you really want your kids to be taught by a teacher that is so stressed she’s getting tearful or would you rather than teacher have a couple of weeks to get her life in order and come back refreshed and reenergised?

This. Over and over, this.

TBF this is so true.

You're only thinking of yourself, which is fair enough but in the circumstances if you are a teacher then you really do need to take into consideration the needs of 30+ children that you teach.

I remember my DC having supply teachers that didn't even know anything about the subjects they were covering for In one subject the HT couldn't even find a supply teacher to cover a subject for my DC's GCSE year, I did feel strongly that this wasn't fair on any of the DC and went as far as giving my DC a choice to drop out of taking that particular GCSE, which they chose to do so.