To go off sick the rest of the year and then resign?

I think clearly your mental health is suffering, sounds like you aren’t very well due to lives stresses.

Unfortunately it’s life, life is stressful juggling kids, the home, yourself, work but then that doesn’t help you. You need to sit down and really look at what can change to help. Leaving your part time job however demanding it is isn’t a long term solution. Yes you are removing one stress that in turn may lighten your load in other areas but in turn that will potentially cause other stresses. Decrease in income, and more everyday life stresses being a stay at home parent brings. It’s rewarding yes but can be lonely and also stressful in itself.

You need to discuss this with your employer be honest in how your mental health is being affected and maybe they can look at your hours. Going off sick will not help you I the long run.

HI OP
I am really unsure if you are mentally unwell and need to speak to your GP for medication and referral to talking therapy (cring, overwhelm, short temper) or if you are just not really coping with life; with working, 2 small kids, unhelpful DH, domestic stuff etc
You dont really mention work which concerns me given your role as a teacher. Depending on what you teach and what year group this could really impact the children in your care. Ask your head teacher or deputy head for a chat and to be really honest with you. Is this a career you are A: Good at and B: want to continue in
My kids have had teachers leave during the year and I have been annoyed and complained and said that teachers should only leave during the year for valid reasons like severe illness as it really impacts on kids learning with things like GCSE;s, A Levels etc

Lots of others on here have offered suggestions which you bat away which is frustrating.
There is no magic wand and you will need to make some choices, either to stay stressed or to improve things.
Try a cleaner again
Declutter the unecessary so what you have is what you need

You say that one of your children wont be put down which makes it hard to get things done but children feed of adults so if they sense the stress they will behave accordingly
Do you have a friend or family member you can ask for some really honest advice and opinions from?
I am concerned that you also wont enjoy being a SAHM, I loved it but found myself unusual in the lack of complaining about it. However I also never truly stopped working and I worked clinically at weekends.
Your husband is also a factor with not just communication issues, you are suposed to be a team, highlight this to him and work as a team.
Stop being a martyr, stop doing all the pick ups and drop offs, he can easily do one way on a friday its only 30 minutes of his time

I dont want to be negative but currently your kids go to bed at 7 so you do have some evening time, in a few years your evening will be full of activities (sports, scouts etc) and therefore more pick ups and drop offs will be needed

I really hope you can make some decisions and that things improve for you and also for your family

Haha let’s all do that … then where will the country be!

Haven’t read the full thread but didn’t want to read and run.
Someone else has probably suggested putting your children in for an extra day of childcare so that one of your non working day becomes child free would help a great deal.
We have children close together in age, I work part time but every day and OH works 6 days a week, and when they were similar age to yours it was exhausting especially as one never slept all night.
Thing that saved my sanity was keeping them in childcare for a couple of hours longer then I worked, so I could go home, whizz the hoover around, chuck food on etc then pick them up so that after they had gone to bed the evening was a few hours peace and quiet to rest.

I’m very sorry that other peoples misfortune and poor mental health evidently impacts you so much. Perhaps you should take some time off and become a ‘freeloader’ yourself, you sound very unhappy.

No just sick of freeloaders … oh I’m burnt out … let me give up work and go on universal credit because I can’t afford my bills, someone else will have to work to pay for my kids.
Maybe you are one of them as you are so passionate on this subject.
Very easy to resort to insults when you have no further argument … you know nothing about me, maybe it’s you that lacks EI.

I’m not sure what’s funny here. You clearly lack emotional intelligence.

I was in a similar position with a 5 and 1.5yo and a husband working a very high pressure job climbing the ladder. My job was quite high pressure and I felt like I was constantly rushing. Rushing to get kids to nursery in the morning then rushing to get to work then rushing to finish work then rushing to pick kids up then rushing tea and rushing bed etc etc. The mental load was enormous too. My husband was on a trajectory to much higher salary than I could ever achieve (even without having kids!) so we made the decision for me to finish work and concentrate on one thing (parenting) and being better at that. Once both kids were in school I went back to work and it’s so so so much better/easier. Husband was in a more senior position and so able to be more flexible. I was able to be picky with returning to work. If you can financially survive, it might be worth it. Although maybe not going off on stress? I’d hand in notice and although a long notice, the knowledge that you’re outta there soon will make you feel so much better!!!

🤣🤣🤣

Yes hence the poll vote at the top!

So because the majority of other people aren't sympathetic we've effectively held a vote and decided that the OP should be fine?

There's a word for this level of intelligence. It begins with s and ends with tupid.

Again, a complete lack of awareness of mental health and a massively oversimplified view of stress and burnout. There is so much more that can affect a person's emotional wellbeing and resilience than how many days they work per week.

It’s ridiculous … she works 3 days out of 7.
What burn out?!?!
People doing a LOT more than this!!
Little sympathy I’m afraid and this is the general consensus on this thread!

agreed

Your children are a shift? You only work 3 days out of 7? You have no time for housework or DIY?????? You are being unreasonable - get a planner/time table and stick to it. A lot of mums work full time and juggle the same.

@BuildbyNumbere your response to me demonstrates a real lack of awareness of mental health issues. The OP has said she is constantly crying, short tempered and feeling on the edge. These things strongly indicate burnout and mental health struggles. She has also said she is struggling with everything; work, housework, parenting, her relationship. These things again strongly indicate issues with mental health, stress and burnout.

It's very simplistic and patronising of you to imply that she just wants to go off sick to do her housework. To me, her posts come across as someone who is feeling so desperate and overwhelmed with life that she feels she has no choice but to go off sick and then leave her job: a huge decision that will impact her financially and professionally. She says she is struggling to such an extent that she does not feel able to work her notice to April. Simply walking out on a job is professional suicide, so I can completely understand why she is considering doing it this way. However, hopefully a period of sick leave will enable her to rest, recuperate and reset, and will help her avoid doing something as drastic as leaving her job all together.

Your comments, like many others on here, are hugely irresponsible. When someone discloses that they are constantly crying and feeling on the edge, belittling their experience, telling them they have no right to feel the way they feel, and making out that they give people with mental health issues a bad name, could pressure that person into staying in a very harmful situation, put them off seeking professional help, and ultimately end up pushing them over the edge!

Yet ok to get signed off and put pressure on everyone else because she needs to do her housework.
People like this that give mental health issues a bad name unfortunately.
Many people will 🙄 at this.

How is this at all helpful? When you are experiencing stress, burnout and poor mental health, even the smallest things can feel overwhelming. She isn't just working three days a week, she also has two pre-school children, a demanding part-time job and is obviously finding life a huge struggle at the moment.

There is such poor understanding of mental health on this thread and there are far too many posters on here who seem intent on making the OP feel inadequate, guilty and even more crap.

It's really sad and quite worrying to see someone who obviously needs some support, come on here and get judged and criticised by so many people. It's one of the reasons I will never post on Mumsnet for advice.

The saying 'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' springs to mind when reading all these comment

You are only working 3 days … you are not at work for 4 days. Come on 🤦🏻‍♀️

@wombat15 I imagine leaving her partner at this stage would make things even worse. She would then be a single mum having to cope both financially and with all the demands of parenthood and work.

Reading her posts, it sounds like she needs a break so that she can recover her mental health and make significant decisions such as leaving work or giving her partner an ultimatum etc. with a clear mind.

It's quite sad to see so many posters on here dismissing stress and mental health as 'not sick' and being so unsympathetic to a situation like this. Breaking up the family unit could have far more serious implications for her and her children compared to taking some time off sick to re-evaluate how to navigate work, family life and mental health.

People have had nervous breakdowns in situations like this. I know from personal experience how important it is to take some time out when you are feeling so stressed and overwhelmed. I really hope the OP ignores all the posters advising her that it is normal to feel like this and she should just carry on, or worse still, consider leaving her husband. I wish she had sought the advice of her G.P. rather than turning to Mumsnet, which as always, is full of unsympathetic and irresponsible responses that will likely make her feel even worse about her situation.

When you have young children, it is even more important to prioritise your mental health. Work can manage without an employer, but young children need a mother who is not stressed, overwhelmed, losing her temper, and feeling 'on the edge' all the time.

You can't go off sick from the family but in the case of DH's you can insist they pull their weight or leave.

Just to say ignore anyone being judgemental about you going off sick. Saying you’re not sick. It sounds like mentally you are not managing. That’s is a kind of sick and you are absolutely within your rights to take some time off. Go to your GP, talk about your MH, take some time off and then once you’ve had that breathing space I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with a more practical solution than quitting altogether.

It would be a bit shit of you to get singed off work with the intention of not returning. If you are going ro resign, just resign instead of milking your workplace for all is worth financially and letting your colleagues pick up work that you don't have any intention of returning to. They can recruit if you resign and can't if they think you're coming back.

@wombat15 It sounds like it is a combination of everything. You can't go off sick from your family, so it is inevitably work that has to give. People go off sick all the time; it's up to the employer to make sure the additional workload is managed fairly. The sick person shouldn't have to stress about how their sickness will impact other colleagues. No one should feel they have to push themselves to breaking point or be made to feel guilty for having to take time out to recover their mental health.

It isn't the job that is making her sick though. why should her work colleagues suffer and potentially be sick themselves from having to do her work just because her DH won’t pull his weight?