Selling the car I use for work.

I know you have a joint tenancy, but if you talk to your housing officer and explain that your partner is becoming financially controlling and undermining your ability to work, they may help you if you ever need to leave. You can also talk to Women's Aid, they may have some useful advice.

The problem runs much deeper than this. What debt is he hiding and who is it with?
You say things aren’t tight on the household side of things because you have visibility of this and you both pay 50%, which means he has a problem with spending or gambling or some kind of debt that he is hiding from you.
i would ask him to show you his credit rating on Clearscore. If that’s ok then the debt he owes is elsewhere (drugs or playing poker etc).

you need to sort this out now as he is not being a good partner to you, not a good father to his kids.

My attitude to this would be fuck you. I’d go get a bank loan and get another car. I then wouldn’t let him in that car and I wouldn’t pay for another thing that was extra eg holidays etc. I’d save and save and save, reap those rewards on the kids and he wouldn’t get a penny. Get your independence back don’t rely on anyone!

If you buy a car, try a second hand hybrid so that your fuel bills will be less. Say a Toyota or Nissan at a dealership and buy through finance at the dealership.

Wow, your partner is a nasty piece of work. I simply can't believe he would consider making such a unilateral decision that would affect the family so much, I mean I imagine if you lose your job he will be even more skint so it makes zero sense.

Have you asked him how he plans to pay for everything after you'll be out of work due to lack of transport?

Go and look for a little run around at a dealership (not a backyard seller or private seller, they are scammers) there are usually lots of good deals in the run up to Xmas.

It’s interesting you work for the same company.
What is he up to?
Something has changed and he thinks you’re more likely to find out if you’re at work.

Agree with PP. I would call his bluff and say you’ll resign and he will have to cover all outgoings. Something fishy is definitely going on, what a knob!

I agree with pps that there is something dubious here. He either has external financial pressures eg drugs, loans, gambling that need addressing or he is selfish and a bit stupid or he is controlling.What strikes you?

You have been paying for beds and school trips for the kids - what has he paid for ? I think we can all guess that one.
you need to leave this idiot before you are bankrupt .

@itsmeits car doesnt owe him anything! why wont he just let you have it if you are the one paying for it? what a selfish man!

I would call his bluff and tell him you will have to resign your job. Ask him how he intends to cover all outgoings whilst you try to get a job that doesn’t require a car.

Your partner is being a dick.

I strongly suspect there is more going on and he owes money somewhere.

What is his proposal for you continuing to work?

As for the question over the money if he sells it claiming it is his car to do whatever with, then if you have paid for repairs then you are owed that back as you have loaned it for HIS car.

There's something suspicious about this:

Why does he need the extra money from your car sale?
Why is he trying to keep you at home and not leave the house?

I think you may need help with this relationship. There's something going on.

I feel like there’s something going on in the background here op. The fact that he needs funds urgently you despite the expenses you’re aware of not changing is suspect. Gambling/ drugs/ debt etc.

Otherwise, it’s worrying that he wants to put you in a position where you are so reliant on him. Honestly, I would be doing everything I could to prepare to leave this man.

Eh? Do you communicate about finances at all? Who actually owns the car? And why is money tight yet you’re paying for holidays and abroad trips. I think there’s a wider picture missing.

the name on the log book is irrelevant- who evers name is on insurance is the owner and whoever pays the tax. What a complete arse your partner is - especially when you have just spent out on repairs- tell him it’s your car and he can get lost

Are they shared children? Is he the dad of all of them?

I think in hindsight you’ve been foolish seeing it as a joint car when he clearly didn’t. In his mind it’s his asset which he’s not using so wants to liquidate.

but not giving you any notice or a chance to sort something else out is very selfish and shows what he thinks of you and your relationship

BTW, name on the V5 doesn’t equal “owner”. It’s registered keeper.

What’s he said about you not being able to work if he sells the car??
what’s his solution??

I’m really sorry because you’ve been labouring under a misapprehension that you’re a team and share finances, becoming reliant and putting money into an asset that is technically just his.
Either he’s very thick/short sighted/is in serious financial trouble and can’t see beyond that, or he doesn’t view this as a partnership, doesn’t see you as a family unit and doesn’t care about you.

what does he say when you ask how you are going to manage continuing with your job?

if he’s being such a dick your only hope is to offer him what he can get elsewhere then make plans to leave down the line.

Can you buy the car off him?

point out that you could lose your job with no car and not pay anything towards bills

is he gambling? Why does he need money?is it control over you as you are earning?

who does school pick up now as it could all fall to him?

Beg, borrow or whatever you need to get a car (or keep the one you are using!) - you need to keep your job!

why does your ‘H’ say things are so tight?

He’s not your partner is he

Yes, this.

What are your living arrangements? Whose house?