Selling the car I use for work.

Make sure you make it clear that if he sells the car as you paid £600 out for repairs you'll need that back out of what he gets for it straight away so you can buy a new cheap run around.

I've just come to this thread. Please, please, please do not look for ways of accommodating him. Know your worth. What previous posters have said seems true. He doesn't like this financial independence of yours. He's looking at ways of diminishing you so that you will become more reliant on him. Luckily you have supportive parents. I agree with @Cornflakes44. You seem too focused on adjusting to the situation rather than pushing back. Whatever the reasons (something going on at work, hidden debts, controlling you), do not let him have the upper hand. Something smells fishy here. How long have you been together and are the kids both of yours? The best thing a woman can do for herself and her kids is financial independence. Without it, you are trapped forever, whether it is through a controlling partner or the system. Your job sounds fantastic and you worked damn hard to get it, good luck. xx

Your parents' behaviour is that of people who love you and want the best for you. It's literally the opposite of your partners. You seem very focused on the practicalities of how to deal with the car situation and not what this says about your relationship. I imagine this behaviour from him is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sorry you're in such an awful relationship with such a selfish man. I'd be thinking about getting out. He's shown you how little he respects and cares about you.

I'm incredulous at this. Is he in some sort of trouble? What did he say to you about how you were going to do your job? If your parents bankroll a car, make damned sure he has no access to it or he'll flog that too. What an arsehole. I wouldn't want a relationship with such a selfish dick.

Thank goodness you've got fab parents.

Same can't be said of your partner though. I wouldn't be able to forgive him for this.

That's so great your parents are going to help. I hope you manage to get away from this guy and find a proper partner.

Ahh, just read your update.
So pleased your parents can and will help.

Would you still need to take 1.5+hr public transport to do those jobs? Is that each way? How much per year will that set you back?
Presumably he would then be doing all the school runs, shopping and cooking, while you're sitting on a bus or at a bus stop.

That sounds a much better idea than applying for lower paid roles or having to give up work altogether.

Your partner is another issue. Sounds very controlling and basically not in a partnership at all. Seriously think you should leave him. I would if it was me.

That's great.

Now stop subbing him.

And don't insure him on it. He can use the money he's raised from the car sale (that you spent thousands on) for an uber.

Buy a very cheap car. Insure yourself on it. Use a credit card or loan if you have to.

Make plans for a future without him.

Make sure he's contributing fully to everything. Ie school trips and family holidays.

He's no partner. It's very controlling. And I'd be wondering where all his money is going.

Do you enjoy your work? Seems ridiculous to change jobs for less money if u enjoy your current role. He sounds very controlling. I couldn’t live that level of pettiness & control. However, practically, you can afford to run a car, so either get a loan to buy the car off him or go get another car on finance & hand him the keys to “his” tell him to shove it up his arse sell it on. I’d definitely be taking control back.

So what has he said about the impact on your job???

That’s because it could be stolen.

I would tell him you’ve handed your notice in as you will no longer be able to work. Right out a list of all the expenses you will no longer be able to cover and give this to him.

sit back and wait fir the penny to drop.

So when you ask how he expects you to work what's his reply?

You have explained clearly why you need a car for work. Either you have a car or lose your job, there's no third option.
If he goes ahead and sells the car without your agreement, you need to recognise that he is knowingly sabotaging your personal and joint finances and also your working life, in which case this is not a proper partnership and it needs to end.
There will be financial fallout from separating, but goodness knows what he will do next if you stay.
I'm sorry, it's a horrible situation.

Whatever you do, don't lose your job. It is the one thing that will keep you afloat through whatever he is up to, whether that is gambling or leaving or purely coercive control. Don't let him isolate you.

If you are able to recoup the holiday money and get a bank loan or family loan to fund a car then do it.

Could you get lifts in and use a bank car from work temporarily? Tell your boss what is going on. They may have contingencies for this kind of thing. It is also good to not keep something like this secret at the time. It is harder to explain later, and less likely to be believed.

There is really very little here worth more than your ability to keep earning, keep in the workforce, and keep being seen.

Assuming he would refuse to give you the value of your repairs input from the sale price could you recoup this by not making the shared part of bill payments up to the value?

OP, have you asked him why he is doing this, and why he needs the money? I think he is hiding something BAD from you. My main two thoughts would be secret gambling debt, or he is planning on leaving you for someone else, and is being vindictive - for some reason wants you jobless and confused?? (Or could he have a OW at work and want you out of the picture?) You need to take action asap: contact dvla, citizens advice, women’s aid, a solicitor. Cancel next years holiday to reclaim as much money as you can, and get a bank loan / use overdrafts to either buy or rent a car. Priority is keeping your job. Hope you get things sorted 🫂

No they can’t

Is he devoid of basic cognitive skills? How does he think you are getting to work? Is it an option to go to and fro with him and the kids (via school) in the works van? Or are you expected to walk, get the bus or train? will the extra travel time shorten your available time to do all the "wife work" that's no doubt 100% your responsibility at present? Will he be picking up the slack? Finally, what is so desperate he needs to sell it now?

I think it's time to remind him that if you don't have a car he will have to do all of the pick ups and drop offs.

I think you also need to tell him he needs to be responsible for providing all of the Christmas spending. I know you feel you have to do these things for your children but you need to save this money for a vehicle. It's more important that you have a job. Explain to your children what's happened. You need to be honest with them.
Quit sleeping with the twat.