Play date in XL Bully house

Be honest.

If she doesn't understand/is difficult about it, then so be it - that's her problem.

It's been my experience that the she may not 'totally understand' . It's been my experience that the owners of these dogs don't tend to be most rational people in the first place .

It's called self-preservation and protecting your peaceful life. Don't fuel the fire. The XL Bully owners may be very defensive and not take kindly to their dog choice being criticised.

There is no way I would risk having my child in a house with that dog. I wouldn't be sugar coating my thoughts about it, either. It's absolute madness to put children in danger. How many more kids have to be savaged and killed before the owners get the message?

Many years ago, my elderly neighbour was attacked on the street by a "lovely, friendly" Labrador. Seventy odd stitches in her arm. Within weeks she was dead, doubtless because of the trauma of the attack. That was a breed with a gentle reputation. We know exactly what these XL bullies can do. Don't give one the opportunity to do anything to your child.

I’d tell them to choose either the dog or us. Unless it can be kept outside the entire time?

Why should the OP need an excuse? Do we have to "be kind" to Bully owners?

Please, please, please do not send your child to that house. Just be honest with the mum, while you appreciate she views it as the safe family pet, you don’t know it but do know enough about the breed to feel differently. I wouldn’t even go with DC to supervise.

From me it would be 'thanks for the invite. I am weird about dogs and I don't send my kids into houses with dogs, so sorry! Your kid is welcome to come over to ours instead?'

I don't think I'm weird at all, but in reality that's what I'd say to save feelings/aggro at the school gates.

Not a chance. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in telling her either, if she’s offended she’s an idiot. But then she’s already an idiot for owning one.

No, no, no. This is the time to speak up for your child’s safety. Be honest OP otherwise they’ll keep asking and it will become awkward xx

No need to mention the breed, just say you don't want him in a house that has a dog. Both kids and dogs can be unpredictable.

I commented on a mail article recently regarding a poor girl being mauled to death by one, saying they should be banned. Had about 100 replies from XL bullies owners saying how dare I accuse them of being a vicious breed, that theirs is a massive softy and the signature phrase “It’s not the dogs fault, it’s the owner”. 🙄

Definitely tell her. We have had a few kids with dog fears come over here and if it’s a long day that’s the day our cocker spaniel go to be groomed if not he stays on a lead or someone sits with him in the kitchen. If they’re reasonable people you can meet them somewhere instead or they can come to yours. If not, you know you can’t trust them anyway

@Beeloux , I was thinking an allergy could be a good excuse, as XL bully owners seem to get horribly offended if anyone questions if their dogs are safe or not .

I'd say no. Especially if your child isn't used to dogs.

I'd be wary with any dog, more so with some, less so with others.

Why would a "lovely lady" allow an XL Bully to share a house with children?

Was the dog her husband/partner's idea? If so, why did she agree to it?

There can't be anyone in the country who is not aware of what these dogs are capable of. I would not consider this family a suitable family to be hosting other children on play dates.

As a poster above has just said, if she takes offence then it's her problem. Invite the children to play at yours.

Absolutely not. I would just say to her face why but if you want an excuse could you say dc is allergic to dogs?
Most of these XL bully owners seem to get massively offended if you dare question their darling Fido. Beggars belief why anyone would buy one when they have children in the home.

Be honest with the mum that you just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving your child in a house with a large dog, We have a soft as brush dog who adores children but he is never left alone with the kids & if my kids friends come over I always check that the children are okay around dogs as he can get overly excited at the prospect of new human friends & barks alot but if any parent said they weren't comfortable with their child coming into house with the dog there then I would be completely fine about it, as even the sweetest dog can be unpredictable.

Correction to my post just now ^ - good point about the park - they might bring the dog! Suggest dog-free indoor settings only!

If she takes offence then it's her problem.

"Unfortunately it won't be possible for X to play at your home as we are not comfortable about X being in the same home as an XL Bully. No doubt [dog's name] is totally lovely and absolutely no offence intended here, but we are not prepared to take the risk, so I hope you will understand.

Would love to meet up at the park / soft play / our home etc."

No and I love dogs and have owed big dogs including a rottie too. I bet the house is small which clearly makes these dogs go stir crazy. Of course she might live in a rambling country estate where the dog stays outside but somehow I dont think so.

We're facing a similar dilemma about Christmas now, because ILs are having my BIL's rehomed lockdown rottweiler over.

If I could trust them to be vigilant that's one thing, but MIL will be cooking, FIL will be negligent, and it's a huge dog in an unfamiliar environment with lots of flashing lights/smells and our boisterous one year old who has no boundaries.

I definitely would not go and I think I would say why as well. You are not being unreasonable.

Absolutely not. I wouldn't let DD around a dog like that.

Any dog can ‘turn’, through no fault of their own.

I wish more people understood that than being offended about people not wanting to be around their dogs.