Play date in XL Bully house

That doesn't sound much like a dilemma to me!

I’d strongly advise against this.

I have a German wire haired pointer, he is lovely natured but boisterous. I have been very careful with inviting my daughter’s friends over. So an XL bully who have a certain reputation, no way would I take that risk.

@catscalledbeanz Stop trying to justify putting a child at risk

@PyreneanAubrie he's about 4 inches tall. If he was any bigger he would be terrifying, although, had he been bigger I imagine DD would have asked me for help training him sooner, or at least mentioned that he hates everything and everyone that is not part of his immediate family.

Like most small dog owners she didn't take his aggression seriously because she could pick him up and put him in her coat when he started making a spectacle of himself, which did nothing more than reinforce to him that all of these strange things were a threat and needed immediate action to keep them at bay.

To be fair, despite working with and studying dogs and their behaviour for years, I am guilty of the same. When the big dog showed reactivity around high-value treats we didn't find it cute or amusing, we took immediate action. When one of the chihuahuas did it we laughed at her, recorded it, and then worked with her for her own sake. It's funny when a chihuahua does (it's really not) but when a rottweiler does it, it's an issue.

Training bigger dogs is also easier because people are more sensible around them. If a strange rottweiler was growling and snarling I imagine people would cross the street. When a tiny ball of fluff is doing it people laugh and try to touch him anyway I have the confidence to tell people back the fuck off away from my dog. DD didn't when she was out with him which also made it worse.

This is why you find a lot of small breeds have issues with aggression whereas bigger dogs tend to be more gentle and better trained.

Here's the culprit looking all sweet and innocent whilst secretly plotting a mass killing spree.

I wouldn't let him go and I have a dog!
My dog is fine when DC have friends over and he's not an aggressive dog at all but also I would never leave him unsupervised with DC he doesn't know, any dog can get anxious or stressed and snap and when it's an XL bully that's really bad news

No I would not send a child by choice anywhere near an XL Bully.

I don't know what I'd say to the Mum as I honestly think the people who have these dogs are complete morons.

Absolutely never, not a chance. I'd even be upfront and tell her it's because of the dog. These people are delusional.

Tell her the reason why. Might make her realise her dog is a danger regardless of how soft it appears. As for Upsetting her tuff your child comes first!

Same - also South London. Possibly the same park - Ruskin Park? I’ve seen several off lead unmuzzled ones in there running up to other dogs and barking at them (they don’t seem playful).

Thanks @Frequency . I'll look up Are You Sexier than a Squirrel.

Training LGD is a battle because they have almost no prey drive and little interest in food/treats, at least out on a walk. When they're out they tend to focus on "what is in the distance that needs to be investigated..." and once you lose their attention they're off. They'll wander for miles.

It's good if you're making progress with training the Chihuahua but he does sound pretty terrifying 😨

no fucking way

meet elsewhere

No never. Not once. Could never take that risk with my child's life.

Absolutely not.
Id just say you have a fear of any large dogs, and do they fancy a play date at yours or the park instead?? (Counter offers are always good to diffuse awkwardness!)

@PyreneanAubrie he's also part Beagle so his recall is reliable in certain, enclosed spaces. If I let him loose in a forest I would fully expect to never see him again.

An enclosed field with lots of dog smells and therefore few foxes, rats, and badgers his recall is 100% but my treats no matter how tasty do not outweigh the excitement of following an interesting scent trail. I also have to avoid letting him off lead anywhere he might smell my mother as he will abandon me to go and find her.

I can recommend "Are you Sexier Than a Squirrel" by Absolute Dogs if you want to work on recall.

The chihuahua is evil in canine form. He looks like butter wouldn't melt but he would kill you in an instant if he could. He's not my dog, he's my daughter's and I didn't notice his lack of socialisation until I took him on holiday earlier this year and he started trying to kill every child, man, or dog that looked at him. He tolerates strange women as long as they do not try to touch him. His recall is spot on until his murderous rage kicks in then all training goes out of the window and all he can focus on is death and venom.

He now comes out with me for training. We are now at a point where he can see another living being in the distance without turning into a tiny murder machine but we still cannot approach any other living thing.

No way. That family in Yorkshire had the dog for 4 years and one day it turned.

Totally agree. I had an ex who was savagely attacked by a Malumet as a kid and still has severe scar across his arms, shoulder, chest and neck. Still haunts him to this day - happened as he was riding his bike through a public park and the dog was off lead. He did absolutely nothing wrong and the owner called the dog but honestly when a dog is locked on and attacking like that he isn’t probably paying attention to his owner calling. It always friendly, has a great recall, great family pet, really soppy, etc dogs that mysteriously end up being the ones that do this because owners forget not everyone loves dogs and they are still animals. And yes I have a dog and grew up with large dogs.

Definitely not, owner should understand why, sadly there’s just too many examples of these “friendly “ dogs turning on their owners to risk it

Why should the OP be expected to tread carefully around this "lovely lady" for fear of upsetting her?

She has a controversial dog in her house. She should anticipate that some parents will not allow a child to be potentially exposed to a large, controversial breed.

@Frequency
Totally understand if your dog has good recall. Not all of mine have because they're Livestock Protection Dogs. I could let one of my previous bitches off-lead anywhere - she did have reliable recall and wasn't interested in people anyway. But in general, most of mine have been on the lead in public. As a lot of dogs should be, to be honest. I had a growling Cockerpoo rush up to my girl yesterday, it was off the lead in a residential area, my pup was on the lead.

BTW, I would be far more inclined to approach your Rottie cross than your Chihuahua, I must admit 😆

Couldn’t agree more and really sorry to hear about your own dog. That must have been awful.

I agree. I have had large dogs in the past and as they were rescue dogs, would not allow children to approach them when out on a walk as I did not have 100% confidence they would react well. I now have a small-to-medium absolute cuddle monster (who was brought up beautifully from a puppy by her previous owner who sadly died suddenly) who is fantastic with all humans but would not object in the slightest in any parent was uncomfortable about allowing their child near her.

I would tell the parent you can't allow your child to come because of the dog. They need to know.

As a dog lover (and owner)...glad you decided no to the play date.

My dogs are small but still would never have them around little kids. All dogs are nice until they aren't.

Offer to have the friends round at yours instead.

Absolutely not. You would be mad and irresponsible to send your poor son. I can't believe you are even considering it. Just tell her straight, there's no need to sugar coat it. "I would love our boys to get together and play, but unfortunately I'm going to have to pass, due to the dog" these dogs even turn on their owners, let alone a unknown little boy who will be jumping around and playing. It's a massive risk, please don't subject your son to being in the presence of such a dangerous, unpredictable dog.

No chance.