Play date in XL Bully house

Noy in a million years would i even contemplate this. I would tell her why, kindly, but be clear. If you make any excuse she may try to reschedule this. Also every time one of these dogs kills someone, the owners say that it was a lovely dog so that means nothing. Plus your son will be a stranger to it so even more at risk

No,no,no!

I fear I also need to say I don't have an xl bully- my dog is a basset hound.

I wouldn't be happy with a crate either. Accidents happen, kids could let him out to say hello, fingers poked through bars, dog in rage dismantles cage from within...

You're right OP.

"Nothing is a given where your dcs' safety is concerned. Time and again, it is proven that people are idiotic and/or make mistakes."

Well, yes. But of course that applies to everything. There more risk in any interaction or close relationships with men, or getting in any car, or crossing a road, or joining the scouts, or any number of scenarios.

And I concede the point re not just supervision of the dog- but reiterate that any responsible dog owner would agree to crate or completely isolate the dog. I would. And if a dog owner said no- imo they wouldn't be a responsible dog owner. If the mum said no to that... it's different matter altogether.

After the most recent news especially? Either this is a troll post or you're absolutely fucking mad not to already be certain that it's a no.

Sensible and responsible dog owners always keep an eye on dog - child interactions and never fully trust the dog with the child because you can never fully trust children to be able to read and interact appropriately with a dog, and there can definitely be moments of dogs trying to put children in their place - it happened to me as a child, and I've seen it happen to my children too.

XL bullies are famous for being big softies, great with kids..
Until the moment that they aren't. And unlike a Jack Russell or a Labrador, an XL bully who snaps WILL kill a human, and no human will stop them from doing so.

Add a 4th child that the XL bully doesn't know into the mix and you are asking for trouble.

"No, and the reason why is because you have an XL bully in the property." You can deliver it politely but there's no reason to hide the reason why. Anybody who is offended that you want to keep your child safe isn't somebody who is worth avoiding offending.

I’d just say unfortunately not with the type of dog you’ve got. Don’t lie there is no need to it’s a perfectly reasonable reason. I have a dog not an XL but would understand if someone didn’t want their child around a dog

I disagree with this. If a dog doesn't know someone entering their home, particularly kids who make loud noises and sudden movements, it should not be in the same room, even with supervision. If an XL bully were to go for a child, the presence of an adult will not stop it.

This happened to me lots of times as daughters best friend had an xl bully, apparently it was a lovely dog. I just wasn't comfortable with her going there so used to say I was frightened of big dogs and I just wouldn't relax her going there. Wasn't ashamed to say it to the mother and tbh she understood my concerns. Dd friend used to come to ours instead so she didn't feel like she was missing out.

I'd simply say it would be lovely, but could your child come to mine instead or we meet up elsewhere, as (my child) is not used to dogs/larger dogs/dogs he's not used to (if you have a dog yourself that is) and whilst I'm sure the dog is fine with your children, I wouldn't want to put you in an awkward situation if my child was nervous or reactive to your dog or did not get on with your dog for whatever reason.

No chance, any dog can bite no matter how friendly. Difference being you can usually get away from a dog attacking you but an XL Bully could literally rip you apart with the first bite.

Nothing is a given where your dcs' safety is concerned. Time and again, it is proven that people are idiotic and/or make mistakes.

The mother of the 10 year old girl who got killed by their loving XL Bully pet is probably learning this the hard way.

I'm not an XL bully owner but i am a dog owner. I would not be at all offended if the parent of a visiting child said 'my child really does want to come over to yours but is really scared of dogs - any chance you could pop them in a crate when she's over?'

In fact, i would always start one of my dogs in a crate anyway if new visitors (adult or child) come just because i have one high energy dog that can be bouncy with new visitors and that's not fair on visitors or dog - i don't want a hyper over excited dog. Much better all round if she is settled and calm in her crate to start.

If the owners have no crate, look at you clueless and don't even have a secure place (could be behind a safety gate) to put the dog, i'd be wary.

I wouldn't want a free for all between kids and an xl bully. I'd want to know the dog is trained to settle (pref crate or secure space but at least on a mat in the hall) and not get wound up by kids playing.

To be a voice of dissent- if I know and trust the mother and family, it wouldn't be a problem for me. I would ask that the kids aren't left alone with dog, as I'd be nervous, but as I trust and like the mum and family then presumably she'd say that's a given! As no trustworthy and responsible dog owner (xl bully, Labrador or Yorkshire terrier!) would leave children alone with ANY dog.

I’d decline but if the kids were good friends I’d invite her child to my house or maybe offer to meet her somewhere for the kids to play together - not a park, somewhere she can’t bring the dog.

My child would never be allowed to go to their house or be in the vicinity of the dog.

This! I only have a soppy old greyhound but he's big and I always make sure I keep him away from anyone unless they obviously want to make a fuss of him. I'm sure she would understand, and if not then I wouldn't trust her judgement anyway.

She is not really lovely if she cannot see the risk of a XL Bully despite all the news reports of children being killed.

I would never. And I'd say it was because of the dog. You don't need to say it in a confrontational way. Obviously they may take offense any way but that's not your fault.
But I do think people like this need a dose of reality. It's a massive gamble having these dogs round a child. Any one of them could just turn.
In Yorkshire a 10 yo child was mauled to death recently by an xl bully. And that dog was a beloved pet which was well looked after, neutered, licenced, never shown any aggression before. The breed is unstable. That's why it's classed as a dangerous breed. Absolutely under no circumstances would I allow my child round a house where one lived.
And I think these people need to see that other people understand the risk. Coz they downplay it to themselves. When they are literally gambling with their children's lives.

Absolutely not. I wouldn't even consider it. The dog who killed its owners 10 year old daughter the other day was described as 'lovely'

I'd tell her it's because of the dog but you're happy to meet elsewhere

No Way would I let a child in a house with one of those dogs. A gorgeous little boy not far from where I live was killed by one when he went to his friend’s home. It’s never worth the risk.

I would just tell her, honesty is the best policy in this case. Just explain you are sure nothing would happen and it’s a lovely dog - but it’s on the news all the time where the family bully xl suddenly attacks out the blue and kills someone. They’ve been identified as a dangerous breed as a reason and you can’t put your son in potential risk.

Say days out etc are all fine as long as the dog isn’t there.

Please dont

I have a dog - not XL bully but the kind people might be nervous of - I would never have an issue with someone telling me they don’t want him around their kids - any reasonable dog owner will get this; and if they’re an unreasonable dog owner you should not send your son round! can you arrange the play date somewhere else?

Even as the owner of a very large Rottweiler and mum of large dog savvy kids;not a fucking chance.

There's been far too incidents surrounding these dogs.

They should all be culled and I say that as a huge dog/animal lover.