Play date in XL Bully house

^^This is exactly what I was going to say. There have been so many deaths and serious injuries from adorable, big softie XL bullies who "might lick you to death" but pose absolutely no threat to anyone that you have to wonder about a mother of three who owns one.

Careful with that.. IME people with XL bullies spout the biggest delusions about how amazing they are and get highly offended if anyone suggests otherwise.

You could be honest, but if you don't want any awkwardness just make up an excuse. I would never send my child to a house with an XL bully in it, I absolutely love dogs and have three but I think this breed is an abomination and anyone who choses to own one is deluded.

And anyone saying 'well if it is okay with their own kids then it will be okay with any kid' are just as stupid as the people that own them, dogs can easily feel threatened or frightened by strange children they don't know who may make sudden movements or get excited, these dogs kill their 'own' children if they decide to, so strange children wouldn't stand a chance.

You also said you don't own an XL Bully.

You are naive reckless to think that your judgment of who you can trust and the nature of an XL Bully is infallible. You would stick to those guns even if you are directly risking your dd's safety. Interesting. I hope you are right.

I wouldn't care about pissing her off.

Some people are very vocal and very fixed in their views that ‘it’s the owner, not the breed.’

Gemma Atkinson is one. She’s an actress and model, but also presents the toddler club on CBeebies so I can see why some might look to her as an ‘expert.’ There are others. It’s bloody irresponsible . This is from the RSPCA and mentions ‘how they look’ as if it’s solely appearance that was the driver for the ban and not numerous horrible deaths.

Some people, some of them maybe not the brightest but with hearts in the right place, so genuinely believe that if the dog is treated with kindness and gentleness it will respond in kind but animals can be unpredictable at the best of times and XL Bullies are just so big that if they turn, the consequences are serious. They do seem to have a streak of aggression in them anyway but even if we accept the argument that they are no different to any dog, there’s still a difference in a minnow nibbling my toe and a great white shark.

The whole thing is horrible. Children who should not have died, adults who were doing nothing wrong but going about their business - I think one was visiting his elderly mum. Horrible.

I would just say no; I wouldn't risk my DC like that for the sake of a play date. Invite the child to your house instead.

I wouldn’t trust the judgment of someone who owned an XL Bully at all, never mind also with children in the house. So for that reason alone there is no way I’d let my child go.

I’d have to be honest though, and say it was because of the dog. If she had a problem, with that, she’s not lovely and you’re not missing out.

Have I missed a post about the woman who owns the dog?

It won't surely come as a surprise to this woman that having this breed of dog is going to make other parents reluctant to send their children to her house? If you have a breed that's designated as dangerous, and which is required to be muzzled in public, said members of public won't be rushing to your house.

I cannot understand why pp on here are advocating making excuses/minimising the actual issue. This woman (mother of three DC) is practically criminial in her deluded denial of the danger her own children are in. There is absolutely no reason to not say openly to her that you don't think her dog is safe. It could be the wake-up call she needs to protect her own DC. Aren't these dogs illegal anyway now?

Jesus [shocked]

She was fortunate to survive that although I imagine she didn’t feel fortunate.

I wouldn’t bother being honest. There is no reasoning with people about this subject. I’d just make up an excuse.

Out of the 17 deaths caused by XL Bullies in the last three years, 13 were adults, many of them fit, healthy men. So I’m not sure that being supervised by adults makes a difference. As much as I think any parent bringing a dog like this into the house is mad, some of the parents fought really hard to save their child once the dog attacked but there was nothing they could do.

Before you decide..here is what ONE BITE by an XL Bully did to a 12 year old girl in Wales recently.

{I have masked the image , but the girl's parents wanted it shared to raise awareness.
When these bite, it's not little puncture wounds.

What is wrong with her that she thinks parents might be willing to take such a risk given what's on the news?

Just tell her the truth.

Surely she'd understand?

I own a small Whippet and if someone said they would worry about their child ,I would 100% understand.

Not every person trusts dogs, and they are probably wise to be this way.

"A mother could say yes and still not lock up the dog behind your back. Who suffers? Your dd. But you would be fine to take that risk with your dd, I assume"

Equally this statement? A person says they can drive, they have insurance, aren't drunk- sometimes you let your children get in cars with others. Those you trust. They are taking your and their kids to the cinema/ party. The trust bit is VERY important. You are right that human behaviour isn't predictable nor are people honest. But the point is you trust them- no?

It's not a breed. That's half the problem. There's no proper breed standard. It's a crossbreed made up of any variety of American Pitbull Terrier, American Bulldog, English Bulldog and Cane Corso.

So you end up with the unpredictable nature and physical strength from say the Cane Corso mixed with the prey drive of a Pitbull. Bred mostly by irresponsible backyard breeders with no genetic testing, no care given to the temperament of the parents or improving the breed and this is the shitshow you create.

Generations of large powerful dogs with unstable temperaments, half of them unneutered. What could possibly go wrong! And until there are tighter restrictions and more regulations on breeding dogs it will just continue to happen. XL bullies will die out and another breed will take their place.

just be honest, say you don't want your son to be near any XL bully. if they don't understand, then not worth the friendship.

@Bonneylass No- I'd never put any child at risk from an XL or Pitbull.

They can flip in a second, and kill, even in the family who own them.

When DS was a baby, I was visiting a friend at her parent's house- the parents had a border collie who flew at my son- it came bolting into the room- and only my quick reaction protected him from a nasty bite.

No way would I be allowing a chid into a house with an XL in it.

I went out of my way to say a mother and family I trust. Of course I wouldn't agree on face value. The trust element is important

Sorry I disagree. A mother could say yes and still not lock up the dog behind your back. Who suffers? Your dd. But you would be fine to take that risk with your dd, I assume

I am impressed you take people's word at face value. I work in compliance. I have seen enough of what happens behind the scenes to know I don't know everything about human nature.

No. And I grew up with a German shepherd
Still wouldn't go near an XL bully

No, I wouldn't go in a house with one myself, let alone allow my child to go without me there. I would use the wording above if you don't want to upset them - you're sure there dog is lovely but your son isn't used to dogs and you can't predict how he might behave around one. Or even that he's scared? No one can argue with that and it won't be taken as a personal attack.

I'd hate to upset the woman too, but not as much as I'd hate my child being killed by her dog.

id be honest with her, it can't come as a surprise to her. I'd lie a little & say I'm sure he's fine with her kids, but I'd be worried about DS being a stranger in their home.

I actually do think they're lovely, but they do seem to have a faulty gene that makes them too much of a risk.